Duty Calls
by jlb141
Summary: Shepard/Liara romance featuring my 'canon' Shepard, Rachel. This story originally was to take place exclusively after the Battle of the Citadel, but I decided to go back to an earlier point in the story and show the growing relationship.
1. Prologue

Rachel Shepard's mind raced. Streams of thought battled each other for dominance. Battled for her attention. All were winning in a sense. Kaidan and thoughts of Virmire were dominating at the moment. A mere week had passed since Shepard was forced to leave one of her best friends, Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko, to die alone. Well, not quite alone, Shepard thought; he had the company of a few geth and the nuke that would inevitably be his doom. She wondered what Kaidan's last thoughts were of, who they were of, as he listened to the armed nuclear device tick off the final moments of his life. Shepard wondered what _she _would eventually think about in her final moments of life. At this thought, she let a deep sigh escape from her core, and rolled over in her bed, hoping this act would remove the maudlin thoughts of Kaidan and his death that currently dominated her thoughts.

Shepard stared blankly at the empty computer terminal in her quarters for a few moments as her stomach began to growl at her. She caught a brief glimpse of her eyes reflected from the tiny mirror next to the computer terminal. They were baggy and puffy, the inverse of what was happening to the rest of her thinning body, but she did not care. Ignoring the protesting stomach, her thoughts turned to more recent events; the defeat of the Reaper ship, Sovereign, and the chaos left behind in its wake. The Presidium area of the Citadel was all but unrecognizable, though Shepard didn't get to spend much time strolling about the debris-strewn battlefield the once majestic hub had morphed into within the past week. She spent much of the past week stuck in Alliance briefing rooms on the Citadel, listening to the brass or politicians, such as Ambassador Udina, debate and plan the Alliance's next moves, both military and political. Shepard wondered why she was even needed at these meetings, as she remained silent throughout the better part of them. "It must be because I am some kind of 'symbol' for humanity", she thought. "Big fucking shit."

With that thought, Shepard bolted up from her bed, "Goddamn it! I have another fucking interview today', she groaned.

This was another 'benefit' of her newfound 'symbol' status: she became an unwitting media whore. All the major media outlets on the Citadel were clamoring for an interview with 'the savior of the galaxy' or the 'paragon of humanity'; the _Future Content Corporation_, _Citadel News_, and _Westerlund News_. Shepard couldn't even remember who the interview was with or when it was to occur. "I need to hire an assistant or someone to keep track of this shit for me", she thought. She wondered, whimsically, if the Alliance would pay for one.

Shepard tiredly shuffled her feet, and the remainder of her emotionally worn body, over to her computer terminal and flicked on the monitor. Briefly glancing at her weekly calendar, she determined that the interview isn't until tomorrow morning. Shepard let out a sigh of relief and proceeded to check her email messages. To her disbelief, she only had two new email messages. The first one was from Ashley Williams; the second was from Liara T'Soni. Shepard was reluctant to open the one from Liara, as she had been trying her best to avoid contact with the Prothean expert in the past day. In recent weeks, the two had become something of a 'couple' in spite of a mutual agreement to place their feelings for each other aside for the sake of the mission. Staring at the unopened email from Liara, Shepard's mind wandered to the two moments they had spent together in passion. The first was prior to the campaign on Ilos, almost a week ago from the present day, and the second was just one night before the last.

The first 'melding' with Liara was truly a life-changing event, and not just for Liara herself, but for Shepard as well. She had no idea what to expect that night, when Liara entered her quarters and eventually propositioned her for a 'joining of minds'. Shepard definitely did not expect things to get physical, and was spellbound when Liara eagerly took the Commander's face into her hands and kissed her passionately. Shepard let out a chuckle as she remembered having to pull away from Liara to avoid having her back broken and to coach the inexperienced but eager asari in the art of the 'tender but passionate kiss'. Luckily, Liara is a quick learner. The remainder of their evening was just as unforgettable as that first kiss: the first moment they laid their eyes on each other's nude form and that exhilarating but warm and tender feeling that erupted from within her body when they finally made full skin-on-skin contact with each other. The ensuing moments spent exploring each other's body with their hands and mouths, that seemed to last for an eternity. Sounds of pleasure that escaped from Liara as Shepard lovingly and tenderly stroked the entire length of her azure skin covered body. They continued with this 'physical' joining of their bodies until both were satiated. Rachel Shepard had been with many human women throughout her life, but none of those flings or one-night-stands could compare to what she had just experienced with an asari that night. Was it just because Liara was an asari, or was it something more?

The weight of this question momentarily shook the Commander out of her reverie, and she proceeded to open and read the email from Liara:

_Commander,_

_I am worried about you. We have not spoken since the morning after we went out to that club. I sensed that something was wrong and you were tense when we parted yesterday morning, and I fear I have done or said something to offend you. If so, I apologize, though I would prefer to do this in person. I did attempt to visit your quarters earlier today but it seemed that you were not in them. I do not mean to sound paranoid, but it appears as though you are avoiding me. When you get this message, will you please come speak to me in my quarters?_

_Thank you,_

_Liara_

Shepard rested her head in her hands and let out a pained sigh as she finished reading the message from Liara. The formal tone of the letter made her feel even more guilty about her actions in the past day, as it seems Liara was being ever so careful not to push Shepard away or make her feel uncomfortable about their relationship. She _was_ avoiding Liara and the growing situation that had been developing between the two in regards to their feelings for one another. Shepard knew the asari had very strong feelings for her; she knew because of the melding they had shared. Again, Shepard's mind drifted hazily back to the night she had spent with Liara before touching down upon the planet of Ilos.

Their love-making on that night was more than just 'sex' and physical intimacy, though that portion of it was beautiful and unforgettable in itself. The part that was currently haunting Shepard was the 'joining', or when the asari melds her consciousness with her partner's. Since that night, Shepard tried in nearly vain to describe the initial sensation of the joining with Liara. She felt as if she did not exist anymore; that Liara did not exist anymore. They both literally became a new entity, and a more magnificent one than each of them had been just moments before while separated. To completely lose oneself and disappear into another person, especially a person such as Liara, was a most welcome experience for Shepard. The usually troubled and slightly neurotic Spectre needed an escape from her own mind, especially in wake of Kaidan's death and the horrific visions induced by the Prothean beacon.

Together, they sensed the entire moment and every emotion, touch, taste, smell, and sound was amplified exponentially because of the reciprocate nature of the meld. Shepard found in odd that she couldn't remember clearly what she 'saw' during the duration of the meld; the intensity of the experience seemed to obscure her visual memory for some reason. Perhaps the joining of two different visual perspectives doesn't translate well into a mutually shared one? At this thought, Shepard rubbed the end of her nose and opened up the email from Chief Williams:

_Hey Skipper,_

_I'm assuming you've finally recovered from the other night! Myself and some of the crew from the lower deck are going out to Flux again later on tonight. We were wondering if you'd like to join us for a few drinks. You can bring your little blue friend along as well..._

_Ash_

Shepard's heart sunk in her chest after reading the last few words of the email, 'little blue friend'. She wasn't thrilled at the idea of the crew being privy to her fraternizations with the asari archaeologist. This was completely her own fault, she thought to herself, as she did a very poor job of keeping her feelings for Liara a secret the other night when the crew went out to Flux for some drinks. Her mind drifted off and became lost in the memories of that night.


	2. Chapter 1

_Several months prior..._

Carefully observing the three human Alliance soldiers as they quickly removed their armor and helmets, Liara T'Soni considered her current predicament. Just a few days ago, she could be found huddled up near her computer monitor, studying the recent data collected from the ancient subterranean Prothean ruin found on Therum. She remembered how the geth had interrupted her studies.

Liara's attention was suddenly stolen by the leader of the three person squad, Commander Rachel Shepard. Since removing her protective helmet, the Commander's head and face fully revealed themselves to the young asari scientist for the first time. Shepard was darker than most humans Liara had seen in person, though, Liara had not met that many members of the galaxy's newest space-faring species since the Turian Heirarchy had made first contact with them only decades before. With deep caramel colored skin, dark shoulder length hair, and dark brown eyes, the Commander's appearance intrigued Liara. Days before the geth attack, she briefly caught a news vid featuring this human woman. Shepard had recently been appointed a Spectre by the Council; the first human to ever achieve this honor. Liara did not watch the remainder of the news piece on Commander Shepard, quickly distracted by thoughts of her current research findings. Finding herself face to face with the human Spectre, she wished that she had paid closer attention to the vid.

* * *

Rachel Shepard sat at the desk located in her captain's quarters, staring intently at the previous days mission report. Her first official mission as a Council Spectre had gone well, besides the destruction of the Prothean ruin on Therum. The important thing was that the Prothean scientist was recovered and she had agreed to aid Shepard and her team in locating this mysterious 'Conduit' that Saren relentlessly hunted. It just so happened that Dr. Liara T'Soni was also the daughter of Saren's second in command, Matriarch Benezia. Rachel spoke briefly to Dr. T'Soni earlier that day regarding her mother. The Prothean scientist was unfortunately unable to shed anymore light on the situation with Benezia and Saren. Of course, the doctor could easily be lying to Shepard in order to protect her mother, but for some odd reason, Shepard believed every word she said regarding the matter. She did perform a background check on Dr. T'Soni before setting off for Therum. The young scientist unsurprisingly possessed a clean criminal record. No matter which university she attended, no matter at what educational level, Dr. T'Soni scored the highest marks out of all her peers. Her professional publications list was quite impressive too, and had contained a few research papers of great interest to Shepard. She recalled reading through a few of them pertaining to the extinction of the Protheans prior to extracting Dr. T'Soni from Therum. The theories that the doctor presented in these papers corresponded with the visions Shepard gained from the Prothean beacon; the Protheans were completely wiped out in a mass extinction and they weren't the first. The only piece of the puzzle the doctor was missing were the Reapers.

Shepard heard the chime ring for the door to her quarters. Someone was seeking an audience with her. She wondered who would be calling upon her at this hour.

She answered the request for entry, "This is Commander Shepard."

The voice on the other end belonged to the person Shepard had just been thinking about, Dr. Liara T'Soni. She sounded timid and uncomfortable, "I'm sorry to bother you, Commander. But there is something that I have been meaning to speak to you about. Something I forgot to mention during our...previous discussion."

Shepard thought back to the discussion she had with the Prothean scientist earlier that day. The conversation ended awkwardly and abruptly after Shepard jokingly suggested that Dr. T'Soni planned to 'dissect her in a lab' in order to learn more about the images Shepard received from the Prothean beacon. She wondered if the joke was missed because of the cultural differences between the two, or because the scientist simply lacks a sense of humor. Shepard recalled meeting a few human scientists that tended to take things very literally and were not very fun to be around. She was betting it was the latter case with Dr. T'Soni, and for some reason, she loved to tease people like this. Shepard vowed to control these urges to tease, however, for the sake of the mission.

Shepard replied to Dr. T'Soni's request, "Sure, come in."

Shepard unlocked the door to her quarters to allow Dr. T'Soni entrance. The asari stepped into the room and glided confidently over to the Commander, stopping five feet before the desk she was seated at. Surprising to Shepard, the scientist adopted the parade rest stance once she stopped in front of her. _She must have picked this up from one of the soldiers_, Shepard thought to herself. She wanted to say something to Dr. T'Soni about it, to tell her that she didn't need to follow Alliance military regs as she was non-Alliance. Wrex sure as hell didn't follow them. In the end, Shepard decided against it, in order to avoid another awkward social situation with the scientist.

Shepard stood up from her chair to face her guest. "What is it that you would like to discuss, Dr. T'Soni?'

"Please, Commander, you can refer to me as 'Liara'."

"OK, Liara. What is it that you wish to discuss with me?"

"I wish to discuss my responsibilities for this mission. I am grateful that you have allowed me to travel with you and your team and utilize my knowledge and expertise on the Protheans. However, I also wish to lend you my combat abilities, especially my biotics."

Shepard honestly never thought of Liara as the 'combat type'. She figured Liara would merely accompany the team as a scientist, aiding them in deducing what this Conduit actually was, where it was, etc. Now that the idea was presented to her, Shepard did remember that Liara was probably a very powerful biotic, due simply to the fact that she was an asari. Shepard still doubted that Liara had the sufficient martial or weapons training that would allow her to realistically contribute to her squad in a combat situation.

"I see. I wasn't aware you had received any formal training in combat, being a scientist who studied and applied her trade for the past fifty years", Shepard replied.

"As with all asari, I received training to hone my biotics starting from a very early age. I have kept up with my training throughout my adulthood, as most asari do. As for combat and weapons training, I was tutored, as a youth, by some of the deadliest Commandos in asari space."

Once again, Shepard found herself mesmerized by the manner in which Liara articulated her words. Her voice was smooth, sophisticated, intelligent, and beautiful. Shepard discovered that all she had to do was close her eyes if she ever wanted to hear it. The sound of Liara's voice had entrenched itself deep within the Spectre's psyche. Before Liara could speak any further and before Shepard completely lost herself in some kind of trance, she spoke:

"That is impressive, Liara, but that was decades ago. Do you have more recent combat experience?"

"Yes, Commander. As I mentioned to you earlier, there were times that I ran a foul of mercenary groups on digs. They were no match for my biotics."

"I'm sure they weren't, Liara." Shepard paused, considering her next words. "I know you are a very powerful biotic, but this is different from those situations. I usually lead a small, three person squad on missions. Being a member of a squad such as that requires certain discipline and training...training that I doubt you have. I'm just curious as to why you are so eager to join the front lines in this battle?" Shepard smirked, "I figured a bookworm like yourself would prefer to spend all her time in the lab."

Liara looked slightly confused. "A...'bookworm' such as myself? I'm sorry, I am not sure what that term means, Commander."

"Sorry, that's a human expression. I was just curious why someone like yourself, who seems to prefer academic pursuits, would want to join my squad in the front lines."

Shepard couldn't read the next expression on Liara's face. Was she still confused? Angry? Hurt? Before she could read anymore into it, Liara replied:

"I just want to help as much as possible, Commander. I just feel...I want to contribute as much as I possibly can to this mission. I refuse to hide in a lab, while Saren and my mo...Saren and Benezia are plotting to bring back the race that wiped out the Protheans. I refuse."

Liara stood up straighter, lifted her head slightly higher, and narrowed her right eye slightly before continuing. "As I have mentioned, my biotics are quite powerful. If you have time, Commander, you could teach me the necessary tactics needed to participate in one of your three person squads. I am a very quick learner, especially when I am eager for the knowledge. I am eager to receive the necessary combat and weapons training from you, Commander, so I could accompany you on your missions and contribute in more ways than just simply sitting on the _Normandy _studying the occasional Prothean artifact you retrieve."

For the first time since beginning this discussion with Shepard, Liara broke eye contact with the Commander, lowering her eyes. She also broke her parade rest stance and shifted slightly.

"That is...of course, if you would agree to train me."

Shepard stood staring at Liara for a few moments, completely stunned. She didn't expect this kind of powerful and confident response from the, seemingly, awkward and socially clumsy scientist. Even though some of the social awkwardness resurfaced at the end of Liara's brief speech, the force of the rest of her delivery made an impression on the Spectre.

_Of course she wants to do more_, Shepard thought to herself. _She probably feels a sense of personal responsibility towards this mission, due to her mothers involvement with Saren._

Another voice in the Spectre's head quickly chimed in, _Or, she may simply desire to be closer to what you and your team are doing on a day to day basis, in order to spy on our operation for Benezia_.

Shepard admitted that the latter was possible and she would, in essence, be training the enemy. Nothing in Liara's delivery or posture betrayed a hidden motivation to Shepard. Liara was either sincere in her desire do all that she possibly could do to stop Saren, or she was just a very skilled liar. Shepard realized she was becoming oddly trustworthy of this asari, and felt that Liara was indeed being sincere. Still, even if Liara motivations were underhanded, these training sessions would also give Shepard a chance to watch Liara more closely in order to decipher her true motivations. Shepard made her choice.

"OK, Liara. Either myself, Alenko, or Williams will begin training you in the Alliance protocols our team follows. Williams or myself can assist you with weapons training, as well as hand to hand combat. We will also need to purchase some armor for you to wear. Have you any experience fighting and using your biotics armored?"

"I do, Commander. Armored combat training was part of the tutelage I received as a youth."

"We are currently heading to the Citadel and will arrive tomorrow. We will first purchase some armor for you to wear. Then, we can spend the remainder of the day at the Alliance training facility located on the Citadel. We will begin with pistol training."

Liara interjected, "I believe I have sufficient experience with pistols, Commander."

Shepard smirked and replied wryly, "Well, we will need to see just how good you are with them, doctor."

Liara was flustered because of the tone Shepard used in her reply , "Ah, I'm sorry if I offended you, Shepard. I was just hoping we could...skip ahead to some of the other weapons. But you are right, I have to prove that I am capable of using the weapons that I claim to know how to use first."

"Don't worry, Liara. I was just teasing you. I'm sorry."

"I am sorry, Shepard. I am having a hard time dealing with you and your species' sense of humor."

_I know you are_, Shepard thought to herself, _and I find it very funny._

Shepard smiled, "You can stop apologizing now, Liara. It's understandable."

"I will...I am sorry," Liara replied quietly.

Shepard let out a small chuckle. This seemed to confuse and distress Liara even more.

"Did I say something to offend you, Shepard? I am sor..."

"No, no more apologies." Shepard replied as calmly she could. She was calling on all of her willpower to prevent herself from chuckling. "I think we just need to end the conversation here." Shepard began to wonder if every conversation with Liara was going to end like this, with Liara growing embarrassed and flustered over a social misunderstanding or a failed communication.

"I will contact you once we are approaching the Citadel, and we can plan our day from there. You should go get some rest now. I have a feeling tomorrow will be a very long day for you."

_And...probably a long day for me too_, Shepard added in her thoughts.

"Yes, I will." Liara bowed her head and then turned to leave. Before she reached the door, she turned, "Commander, I...I just want to say, 'thank you' for giving me this opportunity to prove myself to you."

"We will see if you are still thanking me after tomorrow."

"I will remember to thank you after tomorrow as well. I am very grateful that you are giving me this chance." With these last words, Liara turned and left the room. Shepard finally let out the small laugh that she had been struggling to hold in for the last minute or two.


	3. Chapter 2

Upon arriving at the Alliance training facility on the Citadel, Shepard spent most of the day in the facility's advanced technology laboratory. She decided to delegate the firearms training she had promised Liara down to Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams. After a brief protest, Ash grudgingly accepted her latest task from the Commander. Shepard decided to have Williams train the Normandy's latest crew member for two reasons. First, she simply wanted Ash's opinion on the asari. Shepard believed that Williams was the type of person that just had a knack for reading other people, much like herself. Both women excelled in leadership positions in the Alliance and Shepard felt that good leaders are keen on their subordinates motivations, intentions, and desires. She wondered if Williams' initial impression of Liara would match her own. The Gunnery Chief had already expressed a distrust for the asari, however, she had barely spoken to her since the Therum rescue. Shepard was going to fix that by forcing the two to train together for the day.

The second reason that Shepard skipped out on the training was that she preferred diving into complex technological problems over teaching someone how to properly fire a gun. Plus, she missed her solitude. Given her recent promotion to Council Spectre, moments alone were quite rare and fleeting. Thus, Shepard decided to spend most of the morning alone in a corner of the Alliance facility's tech lab, upgrading Dr. T'Soni's omni-tool to meet the Commander's own personal standards. The omni-tool's hardware was a bit outdated, and this was the first thing Shepard needed to upgrade. Luckily, the Alliance facility housed all of the omni-tool parts that she needed. She toyed around with this project for most of the morning while listening to some calming Asari instrumental music that played from the earpiece of her personal communications system. Shepard hated music with vocals. She always felt they distracted away from the _real_ heart and soul of the song, the instrumentals. If she didn't listen to something while she worked, her mind would wander over troubling past memories, places she didn't like going to. The music soothed and forced back those demons.

Shepard's stomach began to protest as she finished up the last of the hardware changes, so she decided to take a break and check on Williams, see how the training with Liara was going, and then grab a quick bite to eat before returning to the tech lab. She left the lab, made her way to the elevator, and then proceeded down to the lowest level of the training facility. The lowest level housed the firing range for weapons testing and training. She secretly feared the training session would be a bit of a disaster, that Williams would loose her patience with Liara, or that the Chief would say something to offend the asari. From what Shepard knew of Williams from her files and from the few conversations the two had shared, she seemed a bit brash and was very up-front in her manner of dealing with others. Plus, she was distrustful of the non-human squad members, Wrex, Garrus, Tali, and especially Liara, and she didn't really hesitant to make this known to Shepard. The Commander hoped that she wasn't about to regret the decision of assigning Williams to train Liara.

Shepard entered the firing range and immediately proceeded to search the large area for signs of her two crew members. She figured it wouldn't be that tough, given that Liara would stick out like a sore thumb. She finally located them towards the far end of the range. She saw Ash leaning against a supply table with her arms crossed, watching with an air of disinterest as Liara fired off a round from a pistol. Shepard quietly walked over and joined the other human woman in leaning against the table. Liara didn't notice Shepard approach and continued firing her weapon at the target. Ash did notice the Commander approach and immediately jumped up from the table and assumed a parade rest stance. Shepard leaned against the table and motioned for the other woman to resume doing the same. They both watched Liara in silence for a few moments before Shepard finally spoke,

"So, Chief, how is she doing?

Ashley let out a small sigh and replied with a hint of worry in her voice, "Well, she sure knows how to handle a pistol. Just watch." Ashley motioned with her head towards where Liara was firing off her pistol.

For the first time since entering the firing range, Shepard focused her attention on Liara. She looked on as the asari unloaded a round of shots from her pistol, the majority of them hitting the center of the target area.

Shepard replied, "She's good. Much better than I expected. You don't sound very pleased, Williams. What's up?"

"That's just it, Commander. She's supposed to a civilian, a scientist. She shouldn't be this accurate with a pistol. Right from the moment we started today, she picked up that gun and fired it like it was second nature to her. I gave her a few pointers of my own about the positioning of her feet, but that's it."

Shepard realized what was going on, "Ah, so you're worried she's not _really_ the innocent scientist that she at first appeared to be and is, in fact, a highly trained commando sent by Benezia to infiltrate our operation, am I right"

"Something like that."

"Did you ask her where she learned to fire a pistol that well?"

"Um...no."

Shepard watched Liara for a few moments before replying, "Though, if she was really an agent of Benezia's sent to dupe us into thinking she's a harmless scientist and an incompetent soldier, she's not doing a very good job. She's doing a poor job, in fact."

Ashley sighed, "Yeah, you're right Commander. She wouldn't want to show us how good she really was during the first training session. I still don't know if we should trust her, though."

Shepard replied, "Like I said before, I have a hunch that she's being sincere with us. I'll admit it that she seems a bit odd in her behavior sometimes, but I have little experience with asari, so I'm not one to judge."

"Yeah, but I think I still keep my eye on her."

"That's fine, Williams." Shepard stood up from the table and turned to face Ashley. "Hey, I'm starving. Why don't the three of us take a break and head up to the cafeteria?"

"Fine by me. Let's go grab Miss Prothean Expert...if she even wants to join us." Shepard sensed that Ashley secretly hoped Liara didn't want to join them for lunch.

Shepard walked over and stood a few meters from where Liara was positioned, trying to gain the asari's attention without startling her. It worked, as Liara halted firing her pistol and lowered it when she caught a glimpse of the Spectre.

Liara flashed what Shepard thought was a very brief smile before speaking, "Commander?"

"I think you and Williams need to take a break. We are going to eat something at the cafeteria if you are interested?"

Liara looked confused, "Interested...in what? I don't understand."

"Interested in joining us when we go to the cafeteria. You know, to eat something because I'm sure you are hungry by now."

"Yes, Commander, I would like that." Liara unloaded her pistol and set it down on the supply table. She then removed her protective eye wear and joined the two human women. They left the firing range and traveled down the hall, to the elevator, and then up to the dormitory level. Shepard and Ashley engaged in small talk during the trip while Liara remained quiet the entire time, listening in on the banter between the two human women.

After entering the cafeteria and retrieving some food, the three women found an empty table. Shepard and Ashley sat at the end of the table's bench, facing each other, while Liara took a seat next to Ashley, but kept a considerable distance between the two. Ashley gave Shepard a disbelieving look and rolled her eyes.

"You don't have to sit all the way over there, you know," Shepard called out to Liara.

"I thought maybe the two of you would like to discuss the current mission in private."

"It's our lunch break, Liara. Time to relax and forget about our duties."

"Okay." Liara moved closer to Ashley and joined the two humans.

The three ate in silence for a few moments before Liara spoke up,

"By the way, Commander, you can refer to me using my family name as you do with the others."

"So, you want me to call you 'T'Soni' from now on? I thought you told me you preferred 'Liara'?"

"I do not have a preference. I am happy with whichever is best suited for you to use. Though, I have also noticed that sometimes you use a soldier's rank when referring to them, but this would not apply to me."

"She could call you 'Doctor'," Ashley said with a smirk.

"Oh, that would be appropriate," Liara replied.

Shepard grinned, "So, what should I call you then? 'Liara', 'Doctor', 'T'Soni'"?

"I don't know. Whichever you prefer."

"How about, 'Doctor Liara T'Soni'", Ashley proclaimed with a small chuckle. "It's perfect. It includes all of them."

"I don't know, that's a bit of a mouth full." Shepard let out a small chuckle and shared a look with Ashley. "I'd prefer that 'Doctor Liara T'Soni' would decide on just one."

"Well, you could just call her, 'hey you'. That's usually as effective at getting someone's attention."

Shepard noticed that Liara looked a tad flustered. "We were just joking Liar...err...T'Soni."

Ashley laughed.

Liara looked irritated. She was silent for a few seconds before responding, "I just cannot imagine why you both find this so amusing." Her right eye narrowed as she continued with her voice raised slightly, "All I wanted was to understand the naming conventions preferred by your species and you both turned it into a...joke!"

_Oh, shit! She is pissed!_, Shepard thought to herself. She looked at Ash, who was wearing a shocked expression all over her face.

It was now Shepard's turn to act flustered. "I'm sorry, Liara. We meant no harm. We just..." Shepard was at a loss for words. What reason could she give? That she thought it was fun to tease the asari? Shepard felt horrible. The teasing was obviously making Liara uncomfortable but she couldn't help herself.

Ashley spoke up, "T'Soni, humans do this type of thing all the time. It's harmless joking. This is just how most of us get along with our friends. We weren't joking because we think less of you."

Liara paused for a few seconds, giving herself a chance to calm down, "Oh...I see. I apologize Chief Williams." Liara looked sheepishly over in Shepard's direction. "Commander."

Shepard found her voice again and responded, "Don't apologize, Liara, it's our fault. We were being insensitive."

"No, it seems as if I was the one being insensitive and disrespectful. I was not aware that you humans enjoy teasing each other to this extent."

"Why don't we all just stop apologizing to each other and finish our lunch," Ashley interrupted. "We still have to test out how well you can fire a sniper rifle, T'Soni."

"Okay," Liara replied. Shepard remained silent. Her expression was unreadable.

The three women continued and finished their lunch in silence before heading back to their respective stations. Shepard made her way up to the tech lab in order to finish with Liara's omni-tool upgrades. She now had to update the software and install key programs used by all Alliance soldiers. There were also a few 'extra' programs that Shepard liked to have installed on her omni-tool, a few small hacks that her superiors usually didn't find out about. Even if they did find out, her reputation as one of the Alliance's top hackers and computer engineers gave her a pardon from any punishment. Shepard decided to give Liara's omni-tool all of these useful hacks, minus the fun little games she had installed on her own. Shepard doubted the doctor would want these on her omni-tool; she doubted Liara even knew the definition of the word 'fun'.

As Shepard began loading some programs onto the omni-tool, she thought about what happened earlier at lunch and about how foolish and guilty she felt after teasing Liara. She wondered if their communication problems were just a cultural misunderstanding, or if it was just differences in personality. She wished that she had paid more attention during her Asari Culture sensitivity training. While she aced the course, she mainly just memorized the lecture and textbook material enough to get her through each exam, forgetting it all after the exam. Though she usually valued and tried to retain any knowledge gained, Shepard had taken that course during an exceptionally troubling moment in her life. It was shortly after Torfan.

Unfortunately, Shepard didn't have much 'real world' experience with non-humans either, especially the asari. Batarians? Yeah, she has had plenty of contact with them, though most of them were either shooting at her, or getting killed and/or tortured by her hand on Torfan. A few of her past assignments had required that she work with turians and salarians, but her contact with individuals from these species was minimal. Still, this was more than what she could say for the asari. Shepard decided that she needed to do more research on the cultures of the non-human members of her team. Not just to better understand Liara, but also Wrex, Garrus, and Tali. That would be her homework for the evening. Before embarking on this quest for knowledge, she would apologize to Liara in person. Shepard was usually quite charismatic and at ease with people but she had difficulty with Liara. _It must be the cultural differences_, Shepard reasoned. Liara's performance in today's training did please Shepard, though. She suddenly remembered that she did want to ask Liara again about her weapons training at lunch that day, but forgot after the little naming incident. She decided to bring it up later when she spoke with Liara.

* * *

When Liara returned to the Normandy that evening, she felt satisfied with her performance in the first day of training. Chief Williams seemed impressed with her abilities to accurately fire a pistol, and surely she would report her impressions to the Commander. Her only worry was that she, yet again, made a fool out of herself in the presence of Shepard. Liara wasn't entirely sure why she cared so much about the Commander's opinion of her. Was it because the Commander had saved her on Therum? Was it because of the Prothean beacon and the fact that Shepard interacted with it and survived? Or was it because of they way the other humans talked about Shepard? Some of them seemed intimidated by the Commander. She had once overheard one human crew member insinuate that Shepard was mentally unstable, mentioning something about 'Torfan'. There was surely a great deal of mystery surrounding Shepard. Liara didn't know the answer to these questions and she wasn't in the mood to dwell on it. She was utterly exhausted. Regardless, she decided to finish analyzing the remainder of the data recovered from Therum before retiring for the night, and she returned to her work station in the storage room at the back of the med bay on the _Normandy_. She worked diligently for about an hour before Shepard entered the storage room.

"I'm not interrupting anything important, am I?" Shepard asked as she entered the room.

Liara turned in her chair to face the Commander, "No. I was only going over some of the data I recovered from Therum."

Shepard approached closer to where Liara was seated, "You're working after the busy day you had today? That's dedication."

Liara stood up and faced Shepard, "Yes. It helps me to relax. I usually work up until the moment I fall asleep."

"Is there ever a time when you are not working? You know, just doing something for the fun of it?"

"I work for the 'fun of it', Commander," Liara replied with a small smile.

"You know, you can call me Shepard just like everyone else does."

Liara smiled, "Are you sure, or are you as uncertain of what you would prefer to be called as I am?"

Shepard looked down at her hands and smirked. It seemed like Liara said this in jest. Perhaps Shepard was wrong for thinking the doctor completely lacked a sense of humor?

She then made eye contact with Liara again, "I came here to apologize for that, actually. I don't mean any harm when I tease you like I did today, but I do see that it makes you uncomfortable and I will stop it in the future. I promise."

"Please, Shepard. I am the one who should apologize. I am simply a guest on this ship, and I must acclimate myself to you and your species."

"Still, it was wrong of me to treat you as such and I promise I won't do it again."

"I would prefer it if you didn't change, Shepard. I have learned my lesson today and will know better in the future."

"But..."

Liara interrupted, "We do not need to discuss this further. I actually find the manner in which you humans treat each other to be interesting."

Shepard was startled by Liara's sudden burst of assertiveness, then replied with a small hint of playfulness, "Well, if you say so T'Soni."

"Either we stop now, or we will be apologizing to each other the entire night. I doubt either of us wants that, Shepard."

"I wouldn't mind, actually. It would beat the original plans I had for the evening."

Liara let out a small laugh, "Well, your duties must be incredibly boring."

"Nah, they're not too bad. I just really enjoy apologizing to you," Shepard replied with a straight face.

"Now I know you're not serious," Liara said with a slight smile.

Shepard grinned, "See, you are getting better at this humor thing."

"Finally," Liara remarked with a smile.

Shepard remembered the question that she had wanted to ask Liara since watching her train. "By the way, Liara, where did you learn how to fire a pistol with that much skill? Williams told me she hardly had to train you at all today. She was impressed, as was I."

Liara seemed slightly confused by the sudden change in topic, and then her eyes grew sad, "As I mentioned previously, it was my mother and her disciples that trained me in both biotics and the combat arts."

"Yeah, but that a long time ago, when you were younger."

"Well, I obviously kept up with it throughout my years of study. I think it is foolish to lose something you have gained when you can prevent it from happening."

"That's right. Well, I think the training was successful and you will continue working with Williams tomorrow. I will also have Alenko teach you some of our protocols. I upgraded your omni-tool today, and I will show you how to use the new features tomorrow as well. I do think you will make a valuable addition to the ground team, Liara, especially with your biotics."

"Thank you, Shepard. That means a lot to hear you say that."

"I will let you get back to work. I have my own to do before retiring. I will talk to you tomorrow."

With that, Shepard turned and exited the room, leaving Liara alone with her data.


	4. Chapter 3

Shepard sat in a corner of the Alliance's tech facility, making some last minute upgrades to Liara's new and improved omni-tool. The orange-glow from a few computer terminals radiated on her face, which was scrunched up in concentration as she worked diligently. This technology facility was housed in a fairly small room by Alliance standards and was relatively empty at the moment, except for Shepard and the research technician that worked the help desk. For a comparison, the facility on the Alliance's Arcturus Station spanned over a few floors and was home to thousands of computer servers, plus contained top-of-the-line research equipment for use by both scientists and soldiers. Shepard recalled the brief stint she spent serving on that facility around five years ago. She loved every minute of her stay there, as she truly felt at home, and those few months spent at that facility were the most relaxing and peaceful months of her entire life.

Rachel Shepard never wanted to be a soldier. She never had a choice, not ever in her life, being more or less at 'war' since age twelve, having grown up on the streets of New York City and running with gangs for most of her youth and adolescence. While the enemies varied in species, combat experience/prowess, and allegiance over the years, one thing never changed, the one rule: kill or be killed. Shepard excelled at battle and war, but she did not care for it, did not crave it or relish it. She dreamed of retiring from the Alliance as early as she possibly could, and decided to spend the remainder of her days traveling the galaxy, absorbing all that she could, experiencing it to the fullest. Sure, she traveled the galaxy as an Alliance soldier, but the constant peril she found herself prevented her from enjoying the experience. Always curious about non-human cultures, she wanted to travel to Thessia, to Palaven, even to Tuchanka and interact with the inhabitants of those worlds on their own turf. This future seemed now as distant as the nearest galaxy, given her induction as a Council Spectre and the events on Eden Prime with the Prothean beacon and the Reapers.

Today marked the end of the _Normandy_ crew's brief stay at the Alliance's training facility on the Citadel. It had only been a week since the Council appointed Shepard to the Spectre's. Shepard assigned Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko to lead a brief orientation seminar on basic Alliance procedure and protocols earlier that day for the newer crew members, especially the non-human ones. Shepard made it mandatory that Urdnot Wrex, Garrus Vakarian, Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, and Liara T'Soni all attend. Three of those four consented to the order without a hint of protest. Wrex took some extra convincing from the Commander and finally gave in after she threatened to kick him off the ship.

Shepard read the time on her omni-tool as approaching twelve hundred hours and knew that the meeting would be winding down soon. She had ordered Alenko to lead Liara up to the tech lab after the meeting so that she could instruct her on using the new upgrades to her omni-tool. Shepard figured that as they usually serve lunch after these meetings, the pair shouldn't be expected for another half hour. She decided to skip lunch, instead focusing on getting the crew and ship ready for tomorrow's departure from the Citadel. Shepard decided to take on a mission for Admiral Kahoku, to locate his missing team of Alliance marines. She planned to leave for the Artemis Tau cluster the next day, heading to the the last known whereabouts of Kahoku's missing team, the planet Edolus. She still didn't have any new leads on Saren and hoped something would come up soon.

Shepard desperately wanted to finish with the preparations before the end of the work day, as she had plans for the evening. As part of her self-imposed 'cultural sensitivity' training, she decided that the best way to get to know the non-human members of her crew was to take them out to dinner that evening and talk to each of them in a casual environment. She made sure to choose a restaurant that catered to all of them. Surprisingly, it really wasn't difficult to find such a restaurant on the Citadel and she finally decided on one called, "Unity" in her human tongue. Both Tali and Garrus eagerly accepted Shepard's invitation to dine with her that evening. Wrex flat-out refused the invitation, stating that he didn't "give a pyjack's bony ass" if Shepard was sensitive to him and his culture or not. She still needed the opportunity to invite Liara and figured she would do so as soon as the doctor arrived with Alenko.

The pair finally did arrive at the tech lab just around the time Shepard expected them. Alenko looked weary as he walked into the room, wearing the standard blue and black Alliance fatigues. Shepard wondered if he was suffering from another migraine brought on by his L2 biotic implant. Liara followed immediately after him and was dressed in a white and black lab coat. Shepard thought it funny that the lab coats scientists and doctors wore were so uniform looking, differing only in coloring. Shepard turned around in her chair as soon as she heard the door to the lab open, and was seated at her work station facing them as they approached. They both grabbed a chair and seated themselves across from Shepard as she began to address them.

"So, how did it go this morning, Alenko?"

"Everything went well, Commander."

"That's good." Shepard turned to face Liara, "How are you doing, Liara?"

"I am well. Lieutenant Alenko's lecture was very educational."

"Well, I'm glad you thought so." Shepard looked at Kaidan, "How did the others fare, especially Wrex?"

"Well, no complaints about Vakarian and Tali. Wrex sat in the back of the room and slept the entire morning, ma'am."

"I see. You should have cracked him a good one, Alenko," Shepard replied with a slight smile.

"I think it was my father that warned me never to wake a sleeping krogan. He usually gives great advice."

"Wise man." Shepard let out a sigh. She worried Wrex would continue being a problem. "I'll speak to Wrex about this later."

Kaidan nodded his head as Shepard turned to Liara. "So, are we ready to begin playing with your new omni-tool?"

"Yes, Shepard."

"Good." Shepard suddenly remembered that she intended on asking Liara to accompany her and the other non-human crew members to dinner that night. "First, I wanted to ask you something. Since this is our last night here on the Citadel, I wanted to invite you to join me for dinner this evening. Tali and Garrus would be joining us. I just wanted to take this opportunity to get to know you all better, learn as much as I can about you and your people before we set off tomorrow."

After hearing the Commander's request, Liara looked uncomfortable and a bit devastated as she looked away from Shepard. "I...ah. I have something else planned for tonight, Shepard."

Liara's revelation caught Shepard off-guard. She never expected the shy and reclusive scientist to have 'plans'.

"Really? I mean...really! That's great, Liara, don't worry about the dinner." Shepard was definitely curious as to what these 'plans' were, but figured it rude to just come out and ask Liara. She didn't have to ask, though, as Liara was about to tell her.

"Earlier today, one of your crew members asked me if I would accompany him to dinner tonight."

"Who?" Shepard blurted this word out before she could catch herself.

"I believe he told me his name was 'Todd'."

Shepard raised her right eyebrow and gave Kaidan a look that said "What the hell is she talking about?"

Kaidan picked up on it right away. "Private Carter, Commander."

"Carter?" Shepard paused, thinking. "The name sounds familiar..."

"He was one of the new marines assigned to the _Normandy_ shortly after your Spectre induction."

"Ah, yes. Tall kid with dirty blonde hair."

"That's him."

Liara spoke up. "Yes, he sat down beside me during Lieutenant Alenko's lecture today and he was quite courteous and helpful."

Shepard rolled her eyes and looked to Alenko. "I bet he was."

"Yes, he was. Todd then asked if I would join him for dinner tonight. I figured it would be rude to refuse, given his patience with answering all of my questions. If I had known, Shepard, that you wanted me to join you and the others..."

Shepard replied flatly, "Don't worry about it, Liara. You go have fun on your date."

"Date?" Liara went on the defensive. "This isn't a date. It's not...it's not..."

"Sure sounds like one to me," Shepard retorted with a grin. Kaidan continued watching in silence. He thought Shepard was acting a bit odd, but admitted to himself that he also didn't really know her that well.

Momentarily flustered, Liara regained her composure and replied, "No, I am not attracted to him. It's just...what do you humans call it?"

"Oh, but I bet he is interested in more than just friendship and dinner."

Shepard caught herself. _What the hell am I doing? I am way out of line, here, digging into the private lives of my crew. _Rachel Shepard was never one to care much about what her subordinate's did in their private lives, as long as it didn't affect their performance on the job.

"Well..."

Shepard interrupted Liara before she could finish. "Let's not discuss it anymore. We need to get you acclimated to your new omni-tool."

Liara gazed down at her hands for a moment, then back up at Shepard. She looked confused and a little hurt. "Okay."

Shepard turned to Kaidan. "Well, since Liara won't be joining us for dinner this evening, why don't you tag along in her stead?"

"I would like that, Commander."

"Great. We are all meeting in the mess hall at eighteen hundred. Dismissed Lieutenant."

With those words, Kaidan took his leave from the room and returned to his duties. Shepard jumped right into her planned lesson for Liara. She hooked Liara's omni-tool up to one of the test monitors in order to show her how to use some of the recent features installed. Liara still worried that she offended Shepard. She wanted to cancel the other dinner plans and join the Commander and the others instead, but it seemed too late. Shepard already invited Lieutenant Alenko to go in her place.

The next three hours of training flew by quickly. Neither of them brought up Liara's 'date' the entire session, solely discussing the omni-tool and its uses. Shepard and Liara retired after the training, Shepard to her private quarters and Liara to the Med Bay's storage room. Alone, Shepard wondered why she felt, for lack of a better term, 'funny'. Something troubled her regarding Liara and this Private Carter person that she knew little about. _I just don't want him to start shit with her and create some damn diplomatic mess_,Shepard thought to herself. She hoped his intentions were noble, but feared the worse.

_I guess this is one drawback to having an asari on board the ship_, Shepard thought. _All the goddamn male crew members will keep trying to get in her pants. I hope it doesn't become an issue._

"I need to stop being so damn paranoid," Shepard mumbled to herself. She moved over to her closet, thinking about what she would wear to dinner that evening.

* * *

**Author's note: **I was going to have the dinner scene as part of this chapter, but it was getting too long, so I decided to hold off on that until the next one.


	5. Chapter 4

Urdnot Wrex leaned against his usual spot on the lower deck of the ship, near the _Normandy'_s weapon lockers, as Commander Shepard approached him. He hoped she wasn't here to bug him again about joining her for dinner that evening.

"Wrex."

"Shepard."

"Do you have a minute?"

"Yeah."

"I heard you weren't very attentive during Lieutenant Alenko's seminar this morning. Heard you were sleeping. I'm here to see what the problem was."

"There's no problem, Shepard. I've been fighting in battles _centuries_ before your Alliance even existed. I don't need some human to teach me how to wipe my own ass."

Shepard admitted to herself that Wrex had a point.

"Yes, but when I ordered you to attend the meeting I also expected you to pay attention."

"It wouldn't have been so bad if that asari didn't ask so many damn questions. Even the quarian nodded off a few times. It's just hard to tell with the mask."

"What do you mean?" Shepard folded her arms as she replied.

"That damn asari...wouldn't shut up. Every time the human would say something, she'd ask him ten questions about it."

Shepard wondered if Liara was the cause of Alenko's apparent headache earlier that morning. She planned to ask him later at dinner.

"I see. Next time, try harder to stay awake." Shepard really couldn't think of anything else to say, at the moment. She started to wonder what really happened at today's seminar.

"Whatever."

Shepard didn't hear Wrex's reply as she was lost in thought. She imagined Liara fidgeting in her chair each time she wanted to ask Kaidan a question. She could almost see the look of exasperation on Kaidan's face as he listened to her, _undoubtedly,_ lengthy questions and tried to answer them to her satisfaction. Also, Private Carter, whatever the hell he did or said, made an impression on the asari.

"Shepard?"

"Oh, sorry." Hearing her own name spoken by the krogan brought her back to the present time. "Carry on, Wrex." With those words, Shepard headed to the elevator and up to her quarters to prepare for her dinner.

* * *

Shepard studied her own reflection in the mirror as she adjusted the collar of her shirt. Satisfied with her appearance, she walked out of her private bathroom and exited her quarters. Shepard only wore a small amount of eye-makeup, as she had a face that looked better without all the other 'gunk' most women wore. The smokey eye makeup she applied perfectly highlighted her oriental, almond shaped, dark-brown eyes. Shepard was wearing a buttoned up solid red blouse with a pair of black pants that fit tight around her hips and behind. She always tried to show off her best 'asset', even when she wasn't intending to impress anyone in particular. It had been a _long_ time since she last had sex, she could barely remember the encounter. Worried that she was becoming a bit of a sex-addict, Shepard swore off casual sex roughly two years prior. The problem was, all sex was casual for her, as she could never maintain a relationship for more than one week and really didn't want to anyway. "Love 'em and leave 'em" was her game. Having struggled with drug and alcohol addiction throughout most of her life, she figured that another addiction, a sex-addiction, would be harmful no matter how benign it seemed.

Shepard was the first member of the dinner party to arrive in the mess hall. She took a seat at the long table and patiently waited for the others. Tali and Garrus arrived shortly after Shepard sat down at the table. Tali wore her usual enviro-suit, while Garrus was dressed in a green and blue turian dress coat with blue pants. It reminded her of the outfits she saw turian males wear around the Presidium. Again, she wondered why the Council species dressed so uniformly. The three started up a bit of small talk about their plans for the evening as they waited for Alenko to arrive.

The door to the med bay door suddenly opened, and Liara appeared dressed in her green and white lab coat. She looked uncomfortable as she hastily made her way over to the water dispenser. Shepard watched her glide quickly but gracefully across the mess hall as Tali and Garrus continued the conversation. After grabbing a small cup and filling it with water, Liara turned and quickly made her way back to the med bay, trying to avoid eye-contact with the others. Before reaching the door to her quarters, Liara glanced over at the other three mess hall occupants and noticed that Shepard's eyes were trained in her direction.

Liara momentarily froze in place and locked eyes with Shepard. The Commander looked different. Liara always found Shepard's appearance interesting, even more so than the other humans aboard the ship. However, in that moment, she looked even more striking to Liara's eyes for reasons she couldn't discern. Liara felt her face and cheeks suddenly get hot as the rest of her body slowly grew warmer. The two continued to hold eye-contact for a few brief seconds before Liara finally shied away, breaking the connection as she quickly returned to the med-bay.

Shepard wondered how Liara would fare on her date that evening; wondered if she would be wearing the green and white lab coat that she currently donned. Shepard found this amusing, as she pictured the asari showing up for her date in her scientist's get-up.

At that moment, Kaidan entered Shepard's field of vision, out of the corner of her right eye. He was neatly dressed, wearing black dress pants and a half buttoned-up pull-over dress shirt similar to the ones worn by the human male Citadel diplomats. This version of the shirt was blue with red and gold trim. Kaidan greeted his commanding officer and the two non-humans, and the four of them proceeded to exit the Normandy and make their way to the restaurant.

* * *

The name of the restaurant chosen translated into the word 'Unity' in the human tongue. The restaurant's menu catered to a variety of species, hence it fostered an atmosphere where turians, asari, salarians, and more could come together and enjoy each others company as well as the food. There were two separate kitchen areas in the restaurant; one was used to prepare the turian and quarian cuisine while the other was used for everything else. The ownership took great pains to prevent cross-contamination between the food and drink that was safe for the dextro-protein races and the food that was not.

Upon entering the restaurant, a well-dressed salarian greeted Shepard and her guests. Since she had made reservations for four in the section that served as the restaurants 'V.I.P.' section, the salarian quickly escorted the group to their destination after Shepard gave him her name. The restaurant's interior design featured an eclectic mix of turian, asari, and salarian art and decor. The establishment's main room was quite large, but relatively empty at this time. Shepard was thankful for that; she always hated crowds. This was the main reason she opted to pay a bit more to make reservations for a private area in the V.I.P. section of the restaurant.

On arriving at their table, Shepard noticed that it was already set for them, while Tali's place was set with the packaged, sterilized equipment and tubing she would need to ingest food into her suit for consumption. Shepard knew enough about quarian dining necessities from observing Tali eat on the _Normandy_ to realize that she needed to inform the restaurant employees in advance that a quarian would be in attendance. Tali immediately sat herself down in the seat obviously made for her, while their salarian host motioned Garrus toward his seat. Shepard observed that the menu placed at this seat looked the same as the one at Tali's, but differed in color from the menus at the other two seats. It made sense that they would create separate menus for the dextro-protein species.

Two spots remained at the table and Shepard sat down next to Garrus, to the turian's left, while Kaidan took the seat to Shepard's left, with Tali seated on his left. The four quietly studied their menus until Garrus broke the silence with a snarky comment about the menu prices, "I'm going to have to ask C-Sec for a raise before I can dare even order a drink off of this menu." Shepard assured him that he could order whatever he wanted and that she would foot the bill. Garrus grumbled something about 'principle' and continued reading through the menu.

After all orders were placed, Shepard addressed Tali:

"So, Tali, what do you think of the _Normandy_?"

"Your ship is amazing, Shepard! I've never seen anything like it!"

"What do you think about the drive core?"

"It's state of the art. I wonder how a drive core that powerful can fit into a vessel as small as yours?"

The two tech lovers continued their exchange regarding the _Normandy_ and its systems for a few minutes until Shepard became worried that they were boring the other two guests. She turned to Garrus:

"How are you enjoying your stay on the _Normandy_, Garrus?"

"Working with a Spectre sure beats C-Sec...even if the pay isn't as good."

"Why's that?"

"I was tired of working with the burden of C-Sec's rules and regulations. C-Sec buries you so deep in bureaucratic muck that you can't even move. You can't do your job properly."

"Interesting. I didn't know it was so bad." Shepard continued to question Garrus about C-Sec and their policies. She had to admit, it was kind of boring. No wonder Garrus was fed up with it. Kaidan and Tali both looked interested in the current conversation, and Kaidan even asked a few questions himself. Shepard wasn't sure if they were just being polite, though. Garrus then proceed to ask Tali some questions about life on the Flotilla. The pair of them continued to engage in this discussion while the two humans listened on, learning significant details about quarian life and culture. Occasionally either Shepard or Kaidan would interject with a comment or a question.

After a few more moments, their food finally arrived. Shepard, Kaidan, and Garrus started eating their dinners as Tali prepared her packaged meal for uptake into her suit for consumption. Shepard wondered if this paste Tali was about to eat was any more tasty than the stuff she usually ate on the _Normandy_. Shepard hoped it was tastier, since it cost a hell of a lot more. She sat amazed for a few brief seconds, watching as Tali prepared her food, wondering how difficult it would be to adapt to suited life. Shepard wondered if Tali would be too self-conscious to eat in front of the others at this dinner, but thankfully this didn't appear to be the case.

Shepard had ordered the same thing as Kaidan: a pasta dinner with an Alfredo sauce and assorted vegetables. Garrus' meal was a platter filled with chunks of meat from an animal indigenous to the turian home-world, along with some leafy-looking purple-colored plant matter. Given that tonight's dinner was scheduled an hour later than their usual meal time, the four of them ate quickly and silently.

After dinner, the four sat chatting while Kaidan and Garrus each had a drink to finish off the evening. Shepard passed on the alcohol. Being a recovering alcoholic was a pain sometimes. She ordered de-caf coffee instead. Shepard was lost in thought as the others talked about the seminar Kaidan led earlier that day. Her thoughts trailed off to Saren, the Geth, the Prothean beacon, the Reapers...

"I wonder if your friend Carter will get to 'Embrace Eternity' with Liara tonight?" Shepard snapped out of her reverie as she heard Garrus slyly ask Kaidan this question, and at the mention of Liara's name.

"What?" Kaidan replied in disbelief.

"I overheard him telling another crew member after your seminar that he was going to 'Embrace Eternity' tonight. You had to notice that he was all over Liara this morning."

"Yeah, I did. I can't say I was too pleased about it. She seems like a nice lady and I don't trust Carter's...intentions. "

Shepard interjected with a hint of frustration in her voice, "Wait, what is...what does 'Embrace Eternity' mean?"

"You don't know?" Garrus chuckled.

"Serious, ma'am?" Kaidan turned to Shepard.

"It's a term used for the asari mating ritual, often by non-asari," Tali replied nonchalantly.

Shepard looked frazzled and confused. Garrus and Kaidan both found this quite amusing, though Kaidan only allowed himself a small chuckle before regaining his composure.

"It's a term often found used on the extranet, Commander, to describe the asari mind-meld," Kaidan remarked.

"I guess I don't browse the same _stimulating_ extranet sites as you do in your spare time, Alenko," Shepard quipped. Kaidan blushed slightly and cleared his throat.

"Sorry, Commander. It's just common knowledge."

"Not for me. That phrase never appeared in any of the books on asari culture I've read."

"Shepard, I think you need to, what do you humans say? 'Get out more'," Garrus remarked.

"I've already gotten out enough in my life, trust me Garrus," Shepard replied as she stared thoughtfully into her coffee cup. An uncomfortable silence swept over the table for a few minutes as Kaidan and Garrus finished the last of their drinks.

"Well, I'm ready to leave if the rest of you are," Garrus finally spoke as he finished the remainder of his drink.

"Sure," Kaidan replied.

"I'm ready," remarked Shepard.

"Thanks for the dinner, Shepard. I had a great time," Tali said as everyone started to rise from their seats.

"Yeah, thank you, Commander," Kaidan added.

"I appreciate it, Shepard. Though, I fear I may have bored you to death with my glorious and heroic C-Sec tales," Garrus replied wryly.

"Nah, don't mention it. I had a great time and enjoyed the company of each one of you. Let's head out before it gets too late."

The four left the restaurant and proceeded to turn right and down the street towards their next destination. They had a few blocks to walk before reaching the console from which they could hail a taxi car. The Presidium's 'night cycle' had already begun, so the street was bathed in lamp-light that served to illuminate the way through the darkness. Upon leaving the restaurant, the group was met with a small mob of eight to ten humans.

"Look! It's her! I told you I saw her enter this building earlier!" One of the men in the group shouted as he angrily pointed his index finger at Shepard.

"The Butcher of Torfan!" Spat one of the women at Shepard.

"Murderer!" Shouted another man.

Kaidan, Tali, and Garrus looked at Shepard for some kind of explanation. She had none.

"You murdered my son!"

Shepard was aware that friends and family members of some of the men and women killed under her command at Torfan had banded together to form a small protest group. She knew these people personally blamed her for the deaths of their loved ones during that siege and carried a great deal of animosity for her. She knew they would hold protests at any event that honored her. She knew they had traveled to the Citadel after hearing of her Spectre induction to protest outside the Citadel Tower. She would never believe they would do something like this; accost her in the middle of the street in front of others.

"Let's move," Shepard ordered the others as she began to walk quickly down the street and towards the taxi console.

The accusations and jeers from the mob continued.

"Where are you going, you fucking coward?

"Butcher of Torfan!"

"How does it feel to have all that blood on your hands, bitch?"

One of the men broke away from the crowd and rushed in front of Shepard. He lit up his omni-tool to reveal a picture of a young man with dark hair and smiling brown eyes. He appeared content as he embraced a young Golden Retriever. The man shoved this omni-tool image into Shepard's face.

"This was my son! Antoine! He's dead now because of _you_!" The man choked up, "I'm sure you don't even remember him!"

Shepard stared at the picture. His eyes looked back at her; bored into her. She honestly didn't remember this soldier. She forgot all their faces. She couldn't remember them and remain sane. But now she had to face one of them, unless the man in front of her was a liar. Shepard knew he wasn't a liar. She felt a brief wave of nausea take over her body as she continued to stare at the picture.

"Commander, are you okay?" Kaidan's words went unheard by Shepard.

"All right, all of you, clear out now!" Garrus shouted at the crowed in a commanding voice.

"Fuck you, turian! Who the hell are you?"

Garrus fought real hard to keep his cool, but he managed. "I'm with C-Sec." Garrus removed his badge from inside the pocket of his dress pants and displayed it to the crowd. "I will have you all brought in for disturbing the peace if you all don't cooperate and leave at once."

The crowd knew better than to mess with a C-Sec officer. Shepard continued to stand still, staring at the picture of the young man holding the dog, until the father removed it from her sight and left the area. He gave Shepard one last angry and melancholy look before he left. The other protesters had also dispersed from the scene, leaving Shepard and the others plus a few onlookers that had gathered since the incident ignited.

Shepard still was frozen, lost in thought. Garrus, Kaidan, and Tali simply watched her for a few moments and exchanged looks with each other; all three were dumbfounded. Tali was the first one to make a move. She quietly approached Shepard and gently placed a hand on her right shoulder. "Are you okay, Shepard?"

After a minute with Tali's hand resting on her shoulder, Shepard replied hoarsely, "I need to be alone right now, Tali. Take Garrus and Alenko back to the ship."

"Okay, Shepard." Tali knew better than to question this order, and motioned for the other two to follow her. Kaidan was reluctant to leave Shepard in this state, but knew it was best not to press her right now.

"Where are you going, Shepard?" Garrus asked the same question Kaidan wanted to.

"I don't know," Shepard whispered. "Just for a walk. I'll walk back to the ship and should be there in a few hours. Just...go back to the ship, please."

"All right," Kaidan replied and the three turned to make their way to the taxi car console, leaving Shepard alone with the onlookers. After her companions had left the area, Shepard seriously contemplated sitting herself down at the nearest bar and getting wasted; contemplated finding a woman for a night of cheap sex. She needed something to take her mind off of what just happened, and she knew her old vices would suffice.

_I'm better than that. I don't need to do that shit anymore_, Shepard thought.

_Am I? I've been clean for so long but that life will always be a part of me. I can't escape it._

_I can't do this shit now, not with what's at stake. My duty is more important than a night of cheap fun. Concentrating on my duty will help me forget the face. The face...of that dead young man._

Rachel Shepard started to walk towards the heart of the Presidium, to the corridor that contained the elevator leading to the C-Sec office that was located beneath and provided access to the _Normandy's_ docking bay. She didn't care that the walk would take her over an hour. She needed to reflect on her life and remember why she had decided to change it three years ago.

Shepard's life had been hollow and painful, filled only with meaningless crap such as various addictions, most notably heroin in her teenage years and alcohol in her adulthood, and casual sex. She never felt anything more than the cheap euphoric highs that come with drugs or sex, or the excruciating pain that comes during a fit of withdraw. The detox program Shepard had to suffer through after being forced into the Alliance was brutal. She didn't pity herself for suffering this, nor did she feel it was deserved. It just was what it was: extremely painful. After joining the Alliance, she quickly substituted the heroin addiction for another. She lost her virginity to a random woman she met at a party and she was hooked. Shepard always knew she was attracted only to other women, but never acted on her feelings when she ran with the Reds back in her teen years. They didn't react kindly to homosexuality, so she kept it a secret.

Then, there was Torfan. At the time, she felt nothing. She was a killer. It was her job. It's all she really knew how to do and the Alliance taught her how to do to it more efficiently and with fancier tech equipment. So, she killed many batarians, both hostile and innocent, both young and old. Even surrendering batarians were killed on sight or tortured mercilessly by her hands before being killed. She felt nothing. Shepard rigged up a bomb and blew up one small compound that contained both batarian pirates and some of her own squad. They acted as a diversion to the batarians so she could set up the bomb in place. She wasn't going to wait for her squad to evacuate and risk any of the batarians also escaping. They all died. She felt nothing.

Looking back now, Shepard knew the things she did on Torfan were foolish. She knew she could have done things differently and saved more of her squad and more of the batarian innocents. But she was different then. She wanted the quick and easy kill. She killed without thought.

The alcoholism crept up on Shepard after Torfan. The Alliance had court-marshaled her for her role on Torfan. Even though she was pardoned, it left her bitter. She was just doing the damn job they told her to do and she was successful. How could they repay her by treating her like a criminal? Shepard was eventually treated for her alcoholism and kicked it, but continued on with her sex-addiction. After one typical night spent in the arms of a stranger she just felt...empty; felt like an automated drone that moved through the universe with no purpose, no convictions or motivations. There was no grand epiphany, no divine intervention that triggered this desire in her to change. Rachel Shepard just finally got weary of the nothingness of her life. She vowed then that she would atone for her past mistakes; atone for the people she killed while she ran with gangs, for those forgotten Alliance soldiers that she led to death, and for batarians killed on Torfan. She believed this new conviction to do better would give her life meaning.

Finally with a purpose in life, Shepard entered the Alliance's N7 program and never looked back. She excelled in this program and quickly rose through the ranks, given her single-minded determination to atone for past sins and to use her abilities to help others. Shepard also begun to feel things again: guilt, regret, sorrow. Things she hadn't dared allow herself to feel since she was very young. These feelings were quite acute now after tonight and they hurt her deeply. Shepard continued to make her way back to the _Normandy, _wondering if she could ever escape her past, and is she would ever find atonement for her past actions.

* * *

Shepard returned to the _Normandy_, determined to avoid having to converse with any member of her crew. The long walk did nothing to alleviate her melancholic state. She desperately hoped the mess area was abandoned at this time of night, as she had to pass through this area on the way to her own quarters. As Shepard approached the mess hall, she noticed that it contained a single occupant: Liara. The scientist sat in solitude as she ate from a processed food packet. Shepard tried to rush by as quickly as possible, avoiding any eye contact with Liara in the process.

"Shepard?"

_Shit! _Shepard stopped in her tracks. She had hoped Liara would read her body language and know that she didn't want to be bothered, and just let her pass without addressing her. She didn't want to ignore Liara, but really wasn't in the mood to speak with her either. Shepard decided to be partially honest with her. Without turning to face the asari, Shepard replied as calmly as possible given her emotional state, "Liara, look. I'm really tired. We can speak about, whatever...tomorrow."

Shepard noticed a look of genuine concern on Liara's face, "Is something the matter, Shepard? The others said..."

"No, everything is fine. Honestly, I'm just tired."

Shepard could tell that Liara didn't believe her. She decided to quickly change the subject. Turning to face Liara while forcing a bit of playfulness into her voice, she asked, "So, how was your date tonight?"

The sudden change in Shepard's demeanor caught Liara a bit by surprise. One moment she looked utterly defeated, and now in the next one, she teased Liara about the date. Liara sensed that Shepard wanted to bottle-up and hide all of her feelings from her, from everyone. .

After a brief pause, Liara replied, "I...didn't go."

"Why not?"

"I didn't want him to get the wrong impression. I told him that I was not interested in having that type of relationship with him."

Shepard, devilish grin, "You know...you should have told him that _after_ he bought you dinner and a movie."

"That would be quite inconsiderate, Shepard."

Shepard couldn't hold back the small smile that escaped from her lips, "So, did he take your rejection well?"

"Yes, he said he had a 'back-up' plan and he left. But, enough about him, you still haven't told me what is troubling you?"

Shepard lied, "Nothing is troubling me, Liara. I'm great. Just tired."

"I don't believe you, not after what Tali said..."

"I don't know what she told you, but honestly, I've dealt with it. I'm fine, Liara. I just want to be alone, okay?" Shepard could barely keep her voice from breaking over the last few words. She was touched by Liara's concern for her.

"Okay, but I thought we were friends, Shepard."

Shepard took a deep breath, turned her back to Liara, and stared intently at the palm of her hand. She started thinking about what had happened earlier tonight. Thought about Torfan and memories she had fought hard to forget. She remembered the brutal tortures inflicted by her hands onto batarian prisoners of war, the same hand she looked at in the present.

Shepard finally spoke without turning towards Liara, "If you knew me, and I mean _really_ knew me, you wouldn't want to be friends with me."

"You are right. I don't know you, Shepard. I get the feeling no one else does either."

"Well, I kind of want to keep it that way."

Liara desperately wanted to ask the Commander 'why?', and the word almost slipped from her tongue, but she thought better of it. She could tell Shepard really didn't want to speak with her, or anyone, at the moment.

"I am sorry. I will not press the issue further. I...I am sorry to have bothered you with this."

"You're not bothering me, Liara. We _are_ friends, it's just...there are some things I won't even discuss with my friends." Shepard turned her head slightly towards Liara, "Thanks for the concern, anyways. Good night, Liara" With those words, Shepard quickly raced off to her private quarters, giving Liara no time to respond.

"Good night, Shepard," Liara whispered to herself after the Commander had left.

* * *

When Liara returned to her quarters that evening, she did a quick extranet search for 'Commander Rachel Shepard' and 'Torfan'. She felt awful going behind Shepard's back, but curiosity got the better of her. She knew Shepard's troubles related to this 'Torfan' location, though she wasn't exactly sure what had happened there or why it upset Shepard. Liara also wished to avoid offending Shepard yet again or stumbling on her words as she didn't know the proper way to ask a human about themselves, so she decided a quick extranet search was the best course of action. As thousands of search results filled her monitor, Liara began to browse through the data on Rachel Shepard.

* * *

**Author's note: **Well, this was a long chapter. Next chapter, I will be jumping ahead a few weeks in the story to write the Feros scenes. I'm going against the game's structure somewhat, as I imagine Udina and Anderson only told Shepard about the Therum mission shortly after she became a Spectre. As the story progresses, the Alliance and/or Council will notify her of the Feros/Noveria missions, similar to what they do with the Virmire mission in game. I do this so it doesn't seem like Shepard is wasting her time doing useless UNC missions while she could be doing much more important things, like following leads on Saren and traveling to Feros and Noveria. Anyway, in these two weeks that I'm skipping over, nothing too exciting will happen, as Shepard and Co. will be busy running small missions for the Alliance.


	6. Chapter 5

_Two weeks later, Zhu's Hope Colony, Feros..._

"What the HELL is that?" Chief Ashley Williams cried upon entering the room. It didn't take Commander Shepard long to figure out what Ashley was yelling about, as she spied the large, bulbous, plant-like matter suspended by dozens of tentacles in the center of the room, suspended over a crevice. The Gunnery Chief had been on edge ever since the colonists from Zhu's Hope began firing on them, shortly after they returned from the ExoGeni base. That portion of the mission had been pretty straight-forward; kill a bunch of geth, save some scientists. Done. Things quickly went to hell as soon as Shepard and her squad returned to the colony.

"Quiet down, Chief! You don't want to...er, wake it!" Shepard whispered harshly.

"I don't think that thing has ears, Commander," quipped the Gunnery Chief.

Shepard shot an angry glare in Ashley's direction. Her retort to Ashley's comment went unspoken, as Liara interrupted.

"Commander! I think it's moving!"

Shepard quickly turned her head towards the giant plant. Indeed, it was moving. It appeared to be heaving, in fact. Shepard and crew cautiously approached the creature in order to gain a better look at it. As they approached, it continued with its heaving motions.

Suddenly, clear, viscous liquid began to ooze, then gush out from the bottom of the bulbous plant-like creature, from what appeared to be its mouth. Much to the trio's surprise, a pair of green feet emerged from the creature's mouth. They watched on in disbelief and horror as the plant continued to birth a fully-grown adult asari. The 'newborn' asari wore nothing except for the viscous liquid substance that facilitate her passage from the plant creature. The liquid caused her lithe, naked form to glisten faintly in the dimly lit area. Shepard mused that the asari looked vulnerable in the nude, covered in her birthing fluid and hunched over on the ground. The Commander soon realized her mistake in thought, as the asari rapidly shot up off the ground, gracefully flared her biotics, and sent Shepard sailing across the room to the back wall. She hit the wall hard and was slightly dazed, but the impact luckily wasn't enough to knock her unconscious.

In the meantime, Liara engaged the asari with her own biotics while Ashley desperately tried in vain to line up a clean head-shot with her pistol. The Chief's difficulty in targeting the asari was compounded by the fact that Liara kept moving the asari in unpredictable directions with her biotics. Finally, Ashley spotted an opening after the asari knocked Liara off of her feet with a biotic attack. As the asari turned towards her with biotics flared, she took aim and was about to pull the trigger when a strong mass effect field plowed over the asari, knocking her over the edge of the crevice that contained the plant-like creature. The mass effect field originate from Liara, who was able to muster up enough biotic power to throw the asari to her death even from her sitting position on the ground.

"Hey T'Soni! That was my kill!" Ashley joked.

"I'm sorry, Chief Williams." Liara replied as she brought herself on her feet again.

Shepard finally joined the pair.

"Good job, you two. Damn. That asari caught me off guard."

Ashley grinned. "Guess you were distracted by the _arousing _view, Commander."

"Arousing view?" Liara questioned the Gunnery Chief.

"Shut it, Williams." Shepard snapped.

Shepard now regretted the day she told Williams that she was only attracted to other women. Usually reluctant to share personal information with her subordinates, she admitted this little factoid about herself to Ashley in order to stop the younger woman's incessant teasing about Alenko. Ever since he accompanied her on that dinner a few weeks ago, Ashley started insinuating that there was a shared romantic interest between herself and Kaidan. Dropping the "But I'm a lesbian." bombshell quickly shut the Gunnery Chief's mouth and she has since gave up the subject entirely. Unfortunately, now Shepard must deal with her ribbing about the naked asari instead.

Shepard quickly changed the subject.

"So, this creature must be our Thorian?" she remarked.

"Yes." Liara answered. Thoughtfully, she added, "The asari. I recognize her."

"You do? From where?"

"She reminds me of one of Benezia's disciples. Except, her coloring was different."

"Do you think Benezia has a hand in this?"

"I fear that she may, yes."

Before Shepard could reply, the Thorian animated three more of its 'creepers'; the mindless, humanoid corpse-like beings that the three had encountered earlier while on the surface of Zhu's Hope.

"Shit! There's more of those zombies down here!" Chief Williams cried as she removed the shotgun from its resting spot on her back. She aimed the weapon at the nearest creeper and blasted a hole in its chest. It hit the ground with a thud but continued to slowly scratch at the ground with its long claws and started to crawl towards her. Williams finished the creature off with a shotgun blast to the head.

Liara gracefully lifted another creeper into the air and pushed it off the edge of the crevice. Shepard shot the last creeper right between the eyes with her pistol, killing it instantly.

"Yeah, more zombies. Great." Shepard replied wryly.

"What exactly is a 'zombie', Shepard?" Liara finally asked the question she had wanted to ask ever since she heard the Commander use the term to refer to these creatures on the surface of Zhu's Hope.

"It's a word humans use to describe non-sentient, animated corpses. Usually these things only exist in our movies."

"Humans create movies about these. . . things?"

"Yeah. We're an odd species, Liara."

"Oh, come on. We create more than just movies about zombies." Ashley interjected quickly. "Don't judge our species and our culture by a few oddball movies."

"I like zombie movies." Shepard admitted.

"Me too, but that's not the point." Ashley added.

"Yes, Liara, in addition to movies featuring nothing but the brutal, gory deaths of hundreds of mindless zombie creatures, we humans have much more refined and cultured cinema. Perhaps I will lend you a few movies from my own collection for your enjoyment and enlightenment."

"I would like that, Shepard."

"Boy, I wonder what kind of movies you have, Shepard." Ashley wondered aloud, humorously.

"Probably not the kind you think, Williams."

"I also wouldn't mind viewing one of these zombie movies. I'm curious as to why someone would want to watch a film..." Liara pointed to one of the dead creepers on the ground. "...involving these creatures. There must be some appeal to these movies that I'm missing due to my ignorance; some hidden depths that can only be uncovered once experiencing them firsthand."

"Trust me, Liara. There isn't much more to these movies." Shepard replied, then motioned the squad. "Okay, back to business. Let's explore this room and this Thorian. We need to find a way to kill it."

Ashley grabbed her assault rifle. "I can just try and shoot the thing, ma'am."

"Somehow, I don't think it will be that easy, Chief."

"It appears as if the Thorian's body is being supported by these tentacle-like growths." Liara remarked, pointing to one of the creature's 'arms'.

"Right, if we take those things out, the Thorian would fall into the pit, most likely to its death." Shepard responded hopefully.

"Over here, Commander." Ashley pointed to something in the adjoining room. "It looks like one of those tentacle things is anchoring itself to this wall. I bet we could shoot it off."

Shepard and Liara joined Ashley over by the doorway leading into the next room.

"Yeah, looks like it. Well, lets blast the thing then." The trio took up their arms and began to fire at the center of the tentacle. This caused the appendage to writhe around wildly even though it remained attached to the wall.

Suddenly, a primal scream rang out that caused the Gunnery Chief to jump back and misfire her assault rifle, sending bullets into the ceiling.

"Did that thing just make that noise?" Ashley questioned after regaining her composure.

"Well, we must be hitting it where it hurts. Continue firing on that tentacle." Shepard ordered her team.

After a short volley of fire, the Thorian animated a half-dozen more creepers.

"Ah, shit. We've got company!" Shepard turned her attention to the nearest creeper and fired a shot off, hitting the creature square in the forehead.

"How many of these damn things are there?" Ashley began firing on the creepers with her assault rifle.

"I could create a biotic singularity point that would act as a trap for these creatures." Liara shouted this suggestion to Shepard. "The two of you would need to evacuate this room before hand. The singularity might kill the creatures on contact, or at least provide us with an easy opportunity to kill them with gunfire."

"Sounds good." Shepard hastily ran out of the room and signaled for Williams to follow. Liara had already left the room, putting ample distance between herself and the group of Thorian Creepers. Quickly, she flared her biotics and moved both of her arms in a broad, sweeping motion. Almost instantaneously, the creepers began to move against their own will into the center of the room. A few of them did perish from the force of the mass effect field immediately after being snared by it. Shepard and Ashley gunned down the survivors. The battle was a quick one and afterwards, Shepard and crew continued to fire on the Thorian's tentacle until it finally let go of it's death grip on the wall.

"Well, hopefully we only need to take out a few more of these arms before this thing falls. Come on, we need to look for more of them." Shepard motioned for the others to follow her up the nearest stairwell, to the next level of the compound. She was damn glad she had decided to bring Liara on this mission. The Feros mission was the asari's first since joining Shepard's crew a few weeks prior. Even though Liara had proven sufficiently capable in combat, Shepard had hesitated to take her on previous assignments. Liara insisted that the Commander allow her into her squad for the Feros mission, mostly out of her desire to look at the remains of the old Prothean city that the colony was built on. Shepard was grateful she finally gave Liara the chance to prove herself today, as her biotics were proving invaluable against these Thorian Creepers.

The three ascended the stairwell and entered another small room, similar in layout and design to the one below. Dark, concrete, ancient, and worn summarized the decor. Shepard quickly made her way to a door that led to an adjacent room and entered. Unsurprisingly, this room contained another tentacle from the Thorian. As she turned to alert the others about her discovery, she heard Ashley yell, "Dammit! and open gun-fire. Shepard hurried to join the others, and instantly found the cause of Williams' distress: another green, fully nude, adult asari was currently tossing Liara in Shepard's direction. She didn't have time to move before Liara's mid-section intersected with her upper-body, knocking her back into the room with the Thorian tentacle. Liara landed on top of Shepard with Liara's legs tangled in Shepard's arms. Shepard could still hear Williams firing her assault rifle while swearing at the asari.

Liara clumsily untangled her legs from Shepard, and apologized shamefully. "I'm sorry, Shepard. I..."

"It's not your fault. Help me up. We need to get to Williams." Liara offered Shepard her right hand and helped the human up off her back. The pair rushed into the next room just in time to see Williams blast the asari at point-blank range with her shotgun. The damage was enough to bypass the asari's barrier and kill her.

"Shit! The damn zombies are bad enough without that thing crapping out asari every ten minutes!" Ashley seemed even more unnerved by this whole experience than she had been before, as her voice currently carried a lot of tension and apprehension.

"I know, I know. We need to drop this thing quick and get the hell out of here." Shepard honestly felt they were in a horror movie, and her feelings about the situation mirrored Ashley's.

Ashley tried to ease both her and Shepard's nerves with a joke. "You know, we should keep this Thorian." Both Shepard and Liara gave Ashley a puzzled look. "Think about it. This thing craps out fully grown naked asari. We could make a killing. Open our own strip club. Sell the thing to a circus, you know."

"What? That is awful!" Liara replied, shocked that Williams would suggest using the asari for profit.

"Can it, Williams, before I fill your face with omni-gel!" Shepard scolded her Gunnery Chief.

"Fine, fine. It was just a joke."

"In poor taste, Williams." Shepard glared at Ashley.

"I know, I'm sorry, Liara." Ashley addressed her asari companion.

Before Shepard could add her current thought to the discussion, another small group of Thorian Creepers emerged from the doorway leading to the gigantic tentacle. One of the creatures overwhelmed Shepard before she could react properly to the ambush, and it unleashed an acid vomit attack all over the chest plate on her armor. The acidic goo began to eat its way through to her chest as Shepard quickly reached for her shotgun and blasted the creeper to bits.

Suddenly, an indescribably awful and retched stench hit Shepard's nostrils. Shepard would later describe the smell as, "one thousand parts ass, mixed with a hint of putrid rotten egg." Unfortunately, the creeper's acid ate its way through Shepard's armor and down to the tiny computer chip that monitored and controlled the suit's environmental filtering unit. It dissolved parts of the chip, and the air filtering system stopped working, meaning that Shepard was now breathing in the air around her, unfiltered. That air now smelled really awful. The stench overpowered Shepard, as she began to feel nauseous and light-headed. The last thing she remembered was dropping to her knees, vomiting a small amount into her helmet, and hearing someone call out her name before passing out.

* * *

Vision slowly returned to Shepard as she regained consciousness. The first thing she could make out was a pair of gorgeous deep-blue eyes that looked at and searched through her own. These amazing orbs could only belong to Liara. Even through her helmet visor, Liara's eyes still lit up Shepard's vision. She always admired them; their shape, their color, everything about them was perfect and beautiful. In her current groggy state, Shepard easily found herself lost within those eyes.

"Shepard! Shepard, say something!" Liara's eyes showed concern as she spoke while gently touching the Commander's cheek with her gloved right hand.

"Something..." Shepard whispered hoarsely.

"Well, I did not mean it literally, but that will suffice." Liara replied, smiling with her eyes. Shepard couldn't see the smile that played on Liara's lips, due to the helmet's mouth-piece, but she could easily envision it there.

Shepard continued to gaze up into Liara's eyes for a few more seconds until Liara spoke again.

"How do you feel, Shepard?

"I'm fine." Shepard could now make out the sound of gunfire and hear the cursing of Chief Williams. "What's going on?" Shepard finally realized her helmet was missing from her head. She reached up with her left hand and touched her own cheek, brushing against Liara's hand in the process. The asari quickly pulled her own hand from Shepard's left cheek.

"Well, you lost consciousness after one of those 'zombie' creatures attacked you with some type of acidic, liquid substance. I removed your helmet and placed a breathing mask on your face. Your suit's environmental air filters were damaged by the acid."

Shepard finally felt the mask that was over her mouth and nose.

"Oh, thanks."

Liara broke eye-contact and looked towards Ashley. "Chief Williams has provided cover-fire for me while I attended to you."

"Help me up, Liara. I feel like I can join her."

"Are you sure? Your skin still looks paler than usual and..."

"Yeah, I have to. We need to get out of this hellish nightmare someday."

Liara slowly helped Shepard to her feet. Shepard still felt a little weak, and Liara had to catch her to prevent her from collapsing again.

"I think you need to lie down. I will go..."

"No, just give me a few moments to collect myself and I'll be fine." Shepard continued to lean against Liara for support. After a minute or two, she finally felt strong enough to walk on her own. Ashley successfully mowed down the current wave of creepers. Luckily, they've only attacked in small groups of three or four since Shepard passed out. Nothing the Gunnery Chief and her assault rifle couldn't handle. As Ashley joined Shepard and Liara, the Spectre spoke:

"Did you manage to take out that other tentacle thing yet, Chief?"

"Yeah, it's down, but the damn Thorian is still hanging in there."

"Fuck. Well, let's keep hitting that thing until it falls."

The squad continued to move through the compound, taking down two more tentacles while engaging two more of the asari warriors plus a slew of creepers. The Thorian's huge bulbous body finally descended into the pit and squished into bits when it finally struck the bottom, or at least, Shepard liked to imagine it did.

Aching, weary, disgusted, and nauseous, Shepard led her team back down to the first level, towards the entrance to the underground compound that once provided a home for the now deceased Thorian. As the trio approached the entry way, one of the purple, slimy, pimply, pods on the wall started to tear apart in the middle. Shepard didn't pay much attention to these things before, but did now as one of them was bursting apart from the inside. For some reason, Shepard wasn't surprised to see an asari emerge from the thing, though this one was different from all the others they had faced earlier. For starters, she was fully clothed in dark leather armor; in addition, she was purple. Minus those differences, this asari looked strikingly similar to the others. The three readied their weapons as she arose from the ground.

"Shi...Shiala?" Liara cried out as the other asari stood to face them.

"You know her?" Shepard didn't lower her pistol, keeping it trained on the asari, but looked at Liara as she spoke.

"Yes. She is, or was, one of my moth...er, Benezia's most talented disciples."

"That is correct." The asari referred to as 'Shiala' finally spoke as she rubbed her right temple with her hand. "I was one of Lady Benezia's disciples until Saren gave me to this Thorian creature."

"So, you're working for Saren?" Ashley shot at the asari with an accusatory tone.

"I was working for him against my will. I no longer do."

"What do you mean?" Shepard questioned Shiala.

"I suffered under the effects of what is known as 'Indoctrination', a form of mind-control; the same effect Benezia currently suffers from.

"Wait, Saren has the ability to control minds?" Shepard continued questioning the asari.

"Yes."

"Great." Ashley added, sarcastically.

"What does this have to do with the Thorian?" Shepard asked Shiala.

"Saren's mind-control is unrelated to the Thorian. Interestingly, the Thorian possesses its own form of mind-control and it seems as if this was strong enough to overpower and cancel out the effects of Saren's. I finally feel free of any outside influences and am my own person once again!"

"Why were you stuck in that...thing over there?" Shepard pointed to the pod-like structure Shiala had recently broke free from.

"Saren gave me to the Thorian. I was an unwilling participant forced to bend to Saren's will, being then under the effects of Indoctrination."

"Why would he do this?"

"Saren needed something from the Thorian; a Cipher. The beacon on Eden Prime gave him visions but he couldn't understand them. He needed the ability to see them through the eyes of a Prothean."

"The Thorian has something to do with this?"

"Yes, this Thorian is ancient and was alive when Protheans walked these halls. It observed them for hundreds if not thousands of years as they worked, as they socialized with one another, as they lived and died. It was the closest thing we had to a living Prothean. Saren ordered me to meld with it in order to extract these valuable memories."

"You are saying you have all the Thorian's memories about the Protheans?" Liara interjected.

"Yes, Liara. Unfortunately, Saren does as well. After retrieving the Cipher from the Thorian, I then passed it on into his mind. Afterwards, he...gave me to the Thorian and it used me to create the clones you no doubt faced earlier."

"I cannot believe he would do that to you!" Liara exclaimed indignantly.

"I can." Ashley added in disagreement.

Shepard was thoughtful. "Do you think you could do the same for me? Give me this Cipher? I've also made contact with the beacon on Eden Prime and I have the visions, but I can't understand them for the life of me!"

"I know. Saren is aware that you also came into contact with the beacon on Eden Prime. I can meld with you and transfer the Cipher from my own mind into yours."

"Wait, Shepard. The melding can be an exhausting experience; especially if this is your first time. Perhaps you should wait until you are well?" Liara grabbed Shepard's elbow as she addressed the Spectre, with a look of concern showing all over her face.

"No, I'll be fine. Let's just get it over with." Shepard smiled over at Liara, then moved away from her and approached Shiala. Part of her feared that Shiala would take off as soon as she had the chance, so Shepard wanted to get the Cipher as soon as possible.

Shiala walked over to join Shepard in the middle of the room. They stood two feet apart as Shiala rested her hands on the Spectre's shoulders and looked into her eyes.

Shiala started to speak. "Try to relax, Commander. Slow, deep breaths. Let go of your physical shell. Reach out to grasp the threads that bind us, one to another."

Shepard tried to relax. It was difficult, with all the pain she currently felt coursing though her entire body, plus Shiala standing now less than a foot in front of her, talking about 'grasping threads' or whatever.

Shiala continued. "Every action sends ripples across the galaxy. Every idea must touch another mind to live. Each emotion must mark another's spirit."

_Fascinating_, Shepard thought, _but what the hell has any of this got to do with melding and the Cipher?_

"We are all connected. Every living being united in a single, glorious existence."

_Okay, this is just getting awkward._

Shiala lifted her head and closed her eyes. "Open yourself to the universe, Commander. Embrace eternity!"

The last thing Shepard remembered clearly was Shiala looking up towards the ceiling, and then looking down into her eyes again. However, Shiala's eyes had changed and were completely black and inky. It was quite unnerving for the Commander, especially considering what happened next.

Shepard felt her mind start to go numb. She felt dizzy and disoriented, even more so than she felt after getting hit with the stench from the Thorian Creeper's acid vomit. It felt like someone was trying to pull her out of her own body. She tried to fight the sensation, but it fought back, growing stronger and stronger until it exhausted Shepard. She finally relaxed enough to allow Shiala access to her mind.

Shepard began to see flashes of memories that weren't her own. They were too fleeting to comprehend, rapidly changing from one to another. Shepard began to panic as she felt that her mind was no longer her own; the asari was fully in her mind, controlling it. She tried to fight again but was too weak to attempt any further resistance. This unwanted and uncomfortable sensation went on for what seemed like an eternity, until Shiala finally broke her hold on the Commander's mind.

After Shepard became 'Shepard' fully again, she felt incredibly weak; too weak to even begin to understand what happened to her. She almost felt violated. Encroached upon. She also remembered that Shiala had used the term 'embrace eternity' right before they 'melded', and now began to wonder if she just had asari mind sex.

"Shepard. How are you feeling?" Liara approached Shepard, a look of concern on her face.

"Okay." Shepard lied, though not on purpose, as that word was the only one she currently had the wits to speak.

"We should get you back to the ship where you can be monitored." Liara then noticed Shiala. The elder asari looked drained from the meld, though the negative effects of it weren't as noticeable in her as they were in Shepard.

"You should come as well, Shiala. With all that you have been through with the Thorian, plus this meld, you really should see a doctor."

"Wait, hold on." Ashley spoke up. "Commander, not to be rude, but, do you think it's smart to allow a follower of Benezia on to the ship?"

"I won't be staying on your ship." Shiala finally spoke. "After I receive medical attention, I was planning to stay here on Zhu's Hope and aid the colonists in their recovery efforts. I feel this is a way I can atone for my past misdeeds, even if they were committed against my own will."

Shepard spoke weakly, "That's a noble goal, Shiala. These colonists will need all the help they can get."

"Let's get the hell out of here!" Ashley exclaimed as she watched Liara offer to aid Shepard back to the ship. Shepard looked worse for wear; she was sickly pale, slouched forward slightly, and had a significantly sized hole burned through the armor of her chest.

"I can support you as you walk back to the colony, Shepard. That is, if...if you don't think you can walk there on your own." Liara made her offer to the Commander.

"I think I will be fine, but thank you for the thought." Shepard replied, gently.

"Okay."

Ashley walked past Shepard and flashed a knowing smile in her direction. The Spectre didn't get its meaning.

"What's that look for?"

"Nothing, Commander. Nevermind."


	7. Chapter 6

A pair of familiar green eyes met her own as Liara entered the med bay on the_ Normandy_. Shiala had spent the last two days in the Alliance ship's med bay undergoing health exams and recovering from her ordeal with the Thorian on Feros. After Dr. Chakwas gave her a clean bill of health, Shiala requested that Liara join her to discuss the younger asari's mother.

Shiala was seated at a desk, studying a holographic map of the Feros colony projected by her omni-tool as Liara entered the med bay.

"Shiala." Liara addressed the other asari as she retrieved a chair for herself and sat down beside the woman that had been responsible for some of her combat training as a youth. "I am glad to see that you are well."

"I am more worried about you, Liara," Shiala replied with a look that told Liara she was very concerned with her well-being. "Given what's happening with your mother and getting swept up in Commander Shepard's mission to stop Saren, I fear..."

"I am fine, Shiala, thank you," Liara gently interrupted her former tutor and sat up straighter in her chair while keeping her face as stone as possible, in an attempt to mask her emotions. "I know Benezia is not herself, but...there must something we can do for her? You were able to fight off the effects of Indoctrination and..."

This time, Shiala interrupted, "I think that was only due to the side-effects from the Thorian's own mind-control. By becoming its thrall, I was released from Saren's control. Given that the Thorian is dead, we cannot study it or use it to cure the effects of Indoctrination."

"There must be something else we could do? It is obvious from your case that the mind-control is reversible."

"You are right, Liara." Shiala knew first hand how far Benezia had fallen. She doubted the matriarch's mind would ever be her own again, truly free from Saren's influence, without the aid of something remarkable like the Thorian. However, Shiala didn't want Liara to give up and lose faith in her mother; Liara was the only hope left for Benezia; seeing her daughter again might work against Saren's toxic influence. "If anyone can help Benezia, it would be you."

"What do you mean?"

"You are her daughter, Liara. Hopefully you can reach the _real_ Benezia. I think she still exists beneath that cruel and twisted slave Saren has created."

"How? I have no way of reaching her."

"I have a feeling you two will meet very soon. Saren has ordered Benezia to find and eliminate Commander Shepard."

Liara's stomach tied itself into a knot. She knew Benezia's power; knew that she had a large unit of dangerous Commandos at her fingertips. She knew Benezia could crush another asari in half with her mind. Liara didn't want to think about what Benezia could do to Shepard if she did manage to capture her; didn't want to think about Benezia harming her... killing her.

"She...is?" Liara replied, dejected and weak.

"Yes, unless her assignment has changed since the last I spoke with her, which was a few weeks ago."

"We need to tell Shepard," Liara said forcefully, but quietly.

"Relax, Liara. I am meeting with the Commander shortly. I will tell her all I know about Saren and Benezia."

"She needs to know someone as powerful and dangerous as my mo...as Benezia is hunting her."

Before Shiala could allay Liara's concerns, the medical bay door swished open and two human women entered. They were in the midst of a light-hearted conversation.

"I'm getting too old for this, Doc," joked Commander Rachel Shepard to her companion, Dr. Chakwas.

The other woman replied with a hearty laugh, "Come on, Commander. You're only twenty-eight."

"I'll be twenty-nine in a couple of days."

"You're still a pup. Wait until you reach my age."

"I'll be damn lucky if I do, Doc."

The two humans ceased their playful banter after noticing the two asari sitting at the desk located against the wall of the med bay.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know the two of you were in here talking," Shepard said apologetically and turned to leave with Dr. Chakwas.

"Oh no...no...you are not intruding, Shepard," Liara quickly blurted out. She didn't want the Commander to leave. One reason was that she believed Shepard should be a participant in her current conversation with Shiala; the other reason was that she simply missed Shepard.

Liara rarely saw anything of Shepard since the two battled the Thorian together with Chief Williams a few days prior. The Spectre kept busy with her duties after she herself had been checked over by Dr. Chakwas; she confined herself to her private quarters, wrote a few mission reports, met with the Council members over a comm link at least twice a day...typical Spectre stuff. In addition, duties on Feros pulled Liara away from the_ Normandy_, as she and a few other crew members, including Williams, Alenko, Tali, and Garrus, assisted the colonists' in their recovery efforts.

Liara missed Shepard's company. At various times during those two days, she wondered if Shepard felt the same about her. If she missed her too.

"Okay then, I actually came here to speak with Shiala, about the mission, if you don't mind?" Shepard directed her question at Liara. Liara noticed that the Commander's 'hair' was different. It was gathered up and tied onto the back of her head. The hair usually hung freely, tucked away behind the human woman's 'ears'. Liara found these little differences between her own species and humanity fascinating: the ears, the skin, and the hair especially. She liked to imagine its consistency and what it would feel like if she touched it...

"We were just discussing your mission against Saren," Shiala replied when Liara failed to say anything to the Commander, as she appeared lost deep within her own thoughts.

"Do you mind if I join you?"

"No." Liara finally spoke.

"I'm going to go to the cafeteria," Dr. Chakwas finally spoke as she excused herself from the room.

The trio remaining in the med bay discussed Saren, Benezia, and the mission in general for an hour before Shepard had to excuse herself. She had another comm link call to make and a meeting with Alliance brass to attend. The two asari sat in silence for a few moments after the Commander's departure.

"I am still worried about you, Liara." Shiala's statement finally broke the silence.

"Why is that, Shiala?"

Shiala hesitated for a moment before proceeding. "I can see that you have strong feelings for Shepard."

Liara, stunned that Shiala had figured out her secret, looked down at her now fidgeting hands for a few seconds before replying.

"Why...why would you say that?"

"The way you look at her. The way you talk to her. Your body language, as we speak, is very telling."

Liara, aware of her own growing attraction for Shepard, hoped it wouldn't be obvious to others, _especially_ Shepard. She also recognized pangs of jealousy taunting her when Shiala flirted with Shepard during the recent meeting. At least, Liara thought she was flirting with Shepard. Liara still hesitated to put these feelings into the public realm by verbalizing them to another. They would become _more_ real and stronger; she would give birth to them and they would be _alive_. She would have to tell Shepard about them now if she told Shiala; it would be inconsiderate not to. This thought frightened her.

Still, Liara knew she couldn't hide anything from Shiala, nor would she want to, so she decided on honesty.

"I do have, err...I mean, I am...attracted to Shepard," Liara admitted, whispering the last three words.

"I am hardly surprised. She has quite the powerful personality."

"If...you are interested in her...I mean, if you wanted to...I do not mind," Liara stammered.

"No, no, Liara. That is not the cause of my concern. I just fear the complications of you developing a relationship with her."

"I will be fine. I doubt I will ever confess my feelings to her."

"You should, in time, when you are ready. You will lose focus if you continue to hold onto these feelings. If she does not return your feelings..."

"I do not worry about rejection. I can accept it, and move on."

"But, if she does?"

"Then...I would be at a loss. This is all new to me. I doubt she would return my feelings, however."

"Do you want her to return them?"

"I...do not know what I want. I do, but then..." Liara's sentence trailed off as she dropped her gaze to her hands.

"You really should discuss this with her in the future." Shiala placed a comforting hand on Liara's right shoulder. "Now, come. We should find something to eat."

* * *

_Two days later_

The lower deck of the _Normandy _was eerily quiet as the ship sat docked on the Citadel. The lone occupant, Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams, worked diligently at her station, calibrating the sighting of the scope on her own sniper rifle. Commander Shepard decided to make a brief stop on the Citadel, after leaving the colony on Feros, to restock the ship's food supplies and to meet with a mysterious asari diplomat named "Nassana Dantius". Dantius contacted Shepard about a week ago, before the crew touched down on Feros. She desired the Commander's aid in a personal matter. Shepard was currently meeting with this asari, while most of the _Normandy's_ crew left the ship to spend some time on the Citadel. Ashley remained, as she had no reason to leave. Plus, she was a damned perfectionist when it came to her weapons.

Ashley was about to get some company.

Liara T'Soni entered the _Normandy's_ main elevator and pressed the button for the lower deck. She needed Chief Williams' advice. Ashley was the only person on the ship that Liara could seek out for assistance with her current 'need'; she was a human female, just like Shepard. It also encouraged Liara that Ashley acted friendlier towards her after their shared, nearly traumatic experience with the Thorian on Feros.

Ever since overhearing Shepard and Dr. Chakwas joking about Shepard's age and upcoming birthday a few days ago, Liara desperately wanted to buy the Commander a gift. She read a small amount on human tradition and ceremonial practices a few years ago and remembered coming across a passage relating to how humans celebrate the day of an individual's birth. While the book mentioned many different practices regarding birthday celebrations in various human cultures, gift-giving seemed to be the most popular and universal. She also double-checked with Dr. Chakwas, who confirmed this.

Liara deliberated for a day trying to determine what type of gift to purchase for Shepard, deciding on something 'practical'; something Shepard really needed and would definitely use. She wanted the gift to send the message to Shepard that she cared for her, as a friend at least, but didn't want to put her off by giving her something that lovers would give to one another. Having no clue what gift would be appropriate for this situation, Liara decided to seek out the Gunnery Chief for advice. The elevator finally reached the lower deck. Liara stepped out and quietly approached Ashley, who had turned to face the elevator after hearing the door swoosh open.

"Liara? What are you doing all the way down here?" Ashley mused as she leaned against her work bench, crossing her arms.

"I have come to ask you a question," Liara stated, getting right to business.

"About what?" Ashley figured it had something to do with the proper way to hold a sniper rifle.

"Well...this is just hypothetical, but..." Liara started to lose some of her nerve as she realized what she was about to ask.

"Just spit it out, T'Soni," Ashley demanded, but with a playful tone that she hoped wasn't lost on the asari.

"Okay. What do you think Shepard would find the most useful?"

"What?" _Liara was just so strange sometimes_, Ashley thought to herself.

"I mean, if you wished to give her something that she would get the most practical use out of, what would that be?"

"Well..." Ashley had no idea where this conversation was heading, "she probably needs some new underwear after getting the crap scared out of her on Feros." Ashley smiled to herself. She thought her little joke was quite amusing.

"Underwear? That does seem practical."

"You can never have too may pairs of underwear," Ashley continued with her joke, trying hard not to laugh.

"What type of underwear do you think Shepard would prefer wearing?"

Ashley knew that Liara had, what her sister Abby would call, 'the hots' for Shepard, but she was curious as to how that led to the asari interrogating her about Shepard's underwear. _Asari sure had odd mating rituals_, Ashley thought. She wasn't surprised at all that Liara would go for the human woman. A friend's sister dated an asari for a few years. She heard that the younger asari 'dig' humans, especially female humans.

"Boxers," Ashley answered.

"Boxers?"

"Yeah, with red hearts on them. Or pink."

"Hearts? What are those?"

"That's just a shape." Ashley drew a heart in the air using the index finger of both her hands to show the asari what one looked like. "I bet Shepard loves hearts."

"Boxers...with hearts?"

"_Red_ hearts, don't forget."

"'Boxer' is a type of underwear?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Thank you, Chief Williams."

"No problem, that's what I'm here for!" _To answer odd-ball asari questions about Shepard's underwear, _Ashley added in her thoughts. "Oh, and just call me Ashley."

"Thank you, Ashley." Liara turned and walked towards the elevator. Ashley watched her until the elevator hid the asari from sight, then let out a small laugh as she continued on with her interrupted calibrations. She was relieved the questions stopped with the underwear; God knows what Liara would have asked about next.

* * *

_Four hours later_

Shepard sighed as she rubbed her right temple. Exhausted, she sat at her computer, catching up on her emails left unread due to the day's activities. The sudden chiming of her door alarm alerted her to the presence of a visitor.

"Who is it?" Shepard asked as politely as she could muster. She really didn't want any visitors at the moment.

"Liara. May I speak with you for a moment, Shepard?'

"Sure." Shepard opened the door for Liara. She was glad the scientist was the unwanted visitor.

The asari quickly stepped into Shepard's room. She looked slightly uncomfortable as she rushed over to where Shepard was standing, hands out of view and placed behind her back. She stopped a few feet in front of Shepard, who stood next to the desk she recently occupied.

"I have a gift for you," Liara said quickly before she could lose her nerve.

"A...what?"

"A gift...for your birthday. It is your birthday today?"

"Yes, but...why? What, I mean..." Shepard's tongue stopped working.

"Here." Liara revealed the gift-wrapped box that was hidden behind her back and gently handed it to Shepard. The tongue-tied Spectre accepted it wordlessly. "I hope you like the gift."

Shepard had never received a gift in her entire life until that day on the _Normandy_. She grew up with no family, no friends. The asari's gesture touched her very deeply...no one in her past had cared about her or valued her enough to buy her a simple gift. Most people she became acquainted with ended up despising her, for various reasons; most were her own fault. Even though Shepard changed for the better, her reputation still followed, and most treated her as someone that should be kept at a distance. Liara was different. She wasn't human. She didn't know about Torfan. Shepard could feel that Liara cared for her. She cared about Shepard the person...cared about her feelings. She felt like crying for the first time in years, but held back the tears to avoid embarrassing herself and possibly Liara.

"Thank you," Shepard managed weakly. She began to carefully remove the wrapping paper from the gift box. Shepard's hands were shaking slightly as she opened the box, revealing her gift from Liara...three pairs of white women's boxers covered in red hearts. Two seconds ago she wanted to cry, now the Spectre felt like laughing.

_Why the hell would Liara think to give underpants as a gift? Boxers with red hearts! Is this a joke? Should I laugh? Nah, can't be a joke...not Liara...laughing would make her feel bad._

"They are...lovely," Shepard managed to say without snickering. Though she found the idea of the gift deeply touching, she couldn't help but see the humor in the situation.

"Really? I am pleased that you like them, Shepard."

"Just one question, Liara."

"Yes?"

"Why...these? Where did you come up with the idea to buy me...heart covered boxer shorts?"

"Well, I..." Liara was hesitant to admit that the gift wasn't her idea.

"It's okay," Shepard reassured her as she set her gift down on her desk. "You can tell me."

"I...had assistance in choosing your gift. I went to Ashley for advice and this," Liara pointed to the gift box, "is what she suggested."

Now Shepard wondered why the hell Williams would suggest boxer shorts with hearts on them for her gift, unless...she was playing a joke on Liara. _Yes, that's what's happened here. Williams is so fucking dead._

"I see." Shepard smiled, reassuring the asari "They're great, Liara. Just what I needed. You can never have too many pairs of underwear."

Liara laughed, "That is exactly what Ashley said to me after she suggested them."

"I bet she did," Shepard smiled after hearing the asari's laughter.

"Well," Liara looked uncomfortable, as though she was trying to muster up the courage to do something bold. "Happy Birthday, Shepard."

Before Shepard could reply, Liara quickly pulled the Commander into a warm and tight embrace. This sudden act caught the Spectre off-guard at first, but after a few moments she felt herself relaxing into Liara's arms. She forgot how good a hug could feel...or, how great. The asari's body felt amazing against her own; warm, soft in all the right places, but strong and toned in others, especially her arms which held Shepard tightly. Shepard felt safe with Liara at that moment. She felt like she would eventually fall to sleep standing up in those arms, as they hugged the day's weariness away; as they hugged a life's worth of weariness and pain away.

On top of this, Liara smelled amazing. Her scent was of some flower that Shepard didn't recognize, as it was probably native to Thessia, mixed with a hint of vanilla. Shepard felt disoriented as two of her senses were completely overwhelmed by Liara. The embrace seemed to last forever, but not long enough as Liara pulled away and smiled playfully at Shepard.

"Oh, that was another gift."

"Thanks," Shepard replied, dumb-struck and with a silly grin on her face.

"I will leave you to your work."

"Wait, ah..." Shepard called out clumsily to prevent Liara from leaving, "I remember you said you wanted to watch a human movie sometime."

"Yes, I did."

"Well, I have a bunch here you could watch or...we could watch together, if I ever get any free time in the future, if you want. It's up to you." Shepard stopped herself from rambling on any further.

"I would like that."

"Good. I'll let you know."

"Okay, until then." Liara left the room. Shepard, alone in her room again, contemplated her very first gift. Her eyes began to water, as her emotions finally got the better of her. She stood in silence, crying softly as she touched a pair of the boxer shorts. She lifted it up out of the box in order to get a good look at it. Boxers with red hearts; they were so ridiculous looking, she couldn't imagine herself wearing them. She chuckled loudly as tears continued to pour down her face.


	8. Chapter 7

_Two days later._..

The young woman had nowhere left to hide. The horde of putrid, decaying monsters of flesh finally caught up to her as she attempted to escape their fumbling, hunger-driven pursuit. She ran into an alley-way but it was a dead end. She whimpered and beat her fists against the alley wall in hopeless frustration. The dead end meant death for her. A handful of the walking corpses followed her into the alley. Her facial expression froze in horror as one of the creatures approached, grabbing her shoulder with a stiff, cold hand...suddenly, and the monitor went black and the credits rolled.

"Well? What did you think?"

"Shepard...that was awful."

"I knew you wouldn't like it."

"Then, why did you choose this one?"

"I told you, all zombie movies are pretty much the same."

"I see."

"I'll let you pick the next movie, to make up for it."

"I think I would need to choose the next two movies in order to make up for that." Liara taunted Shepard with a small grin.

"Oh, it wasn't _that_ bad, was it?"

"Yes, it was. I cannot imagine why you find these movies entertaining? The plot was uninteresting and weak, consumed by the decadent violence and gore."

"Yeah."

"Pardon?"

"Okay, you can pick the next two movies."

Liara smiled, "Thank you, Shepard."

"Crap...I need to go talk to Williams." Shepard hesitated for a moment, not knowing how to end the movie night with Liara properly. She always found herself a bit nervous around the scientist. "It was fun, Liara. Er...maybe it wasn't because you hated the movie, but...eh, I'm sorry it was awful."

"No, I want to apologize. I should be grateful that you were willing to share it with me. Though I may not have enjoyed the movie, I did enjoy your company."

"Why? I didn't say much during the movie."

"I know...but I still did enjoy it."

Shepard felt herself blushing, "Ah, well...off to speak with Ash before I retire. I should be going. Thanks again and sorry and you can pick the next two movies."

"Okay. Good night, Shepard."

Shepard stepped into the elevator and hit the button for the lower level. She wanted to give Williams a hard time about her 'gift' suggestion to Liara. Her face still felt hot from blushing...it seemed as if Liara was almost flirting with her after the movie. _Nah, can't be...why the hell would she be interested in me, a human, a soldier, a butcher. But then there's the gift...and the hug._

The elevator reached the bottom level and Shepard stepped out and made a quick bee-line over to the Gunnery Chief's work station. The other woman was laughing heartily as she watched her computer monitor. She didn't notice her Commander approach...

"...Kaidan. He's cute! Later, sis!"

Shepard stood behind Williams and cleared her throat. Ashley jumped at the sharp, intruding noise.

"Kaidan, aye. You're interested in the Lieutenant?" _Now it was time to make Williams uncomfortable_, Shepard thought gleefully.

Williams cleared her throat and stood in a half-parade stance.

"No, ma'am. Fraternization is against regs," Ashley replied, with a small hint of crimson on her light caramel colored face.

"I didn't say anything about fraternization..."

"That was just my sister, Abby. I'm watching some vid-mails from home."

"How are they doing? Your family."

"They are good. Abby is finishing her senior year of high school. That's what she was talking about before...Kaidan. She's a teenager. You know how they are."

"You must be proud...she sounds like a good kid."

"Yeah, she is...but...I'm sure you didn't come down here to talk about my family so, what's up?"

Shepard's demeanor changed from slight amusement to annoyance. "I just have a bone to pick with you, Williams." Shepard glared at the younger woman.

Ashley's mind started to frantically search for the reason for this 'bone'. She found none. "Why? What did I do wrong, Commander?"

"You know damn well what you did."

Ashley hated this; being told she knew what she did to wrong someone when she had no clue. Her father used to do this same thing to her when she was younger. "I'm sorry, I don't."

Shepard decided to just let the evidence do the talking. She quickly reached into the pocket of her trousers and pulled out a pair of white boxer shorts with red hearts all over them, holding them up to display in all their glory, right in front of Ashley's face. The dumbstruck Gunnery Chief still couldn't figure out what a pair of underwear had to do with Shepard's exasperation with her. The usually stoic Commander looked downright foolish standing with a pair of boxers held upright in her outstretched arm and Ashley couldn't help but laugh as she spoke.

"Um...what are you doing, Commander?"

"Just showing you my latest birthday present!"

"From who?"

"Oh, don't give me that!"

All of a sudden, Ashley remembered the odd conversation she had with Liara a few days prior. The humor in the situation suddenly struck her like a hammer as she realized exactly what happened, and she laughed. She knew she couldn't hold it back and didn't even try.

"It's not funny, Williams."

"I...yes it is!"

"Why is it funny, Williams? That was a cruel trick to play on Liara!"

"Why do you care? Is she your _girlfriend_ now?"

"What? No...of course not." Shepard blushed again.

"I'm sorry; I didn't tell her to give you that for a present. She just started asking me all these weird questions about you and the subject strayed to your underpants for some reason."

"Sure, Chief."

"It's true! I did joke that you probably wear boxers and like heart-shaped print, but I didn't know she was digging for a birthday present idea, honest! If I'd known, I would have told her to get you some nice jewelry or something."

"I didn't want anything. I don't need gifts."

"Oh, come on. Everyone needs to feel special every once in awhile…even Shepard."

"Eh, I don't need to feel special."

"Hmmm...I bet T'Soni wants you to feel special." Ashley smirked as she crossed her arms. "Why else would she give you a gift?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, come on, Skipper. It's obvious she likes you."

"What did you just call me?"

"'Skipper', and don't try to change the subject."

"What subject? There is no subject! What you are saying is..preposterous!"

"Why?"

"Why? Why would someone like her be interested in someone like me?"

"I don't know _why, _but I do know that she _is_. If you must know, I'm not the only one that thinks this. As to _why_, I don't know...asari are weird with this sort of thing and Liara is even weirder. I couldn't begin to guess why. I notice that she looks at you a lot. She'll come looking for you sometimes when you're busy; 'just to talk', she says. When I tell her you're up in your cabin, working, she'll give me this cute little disappointed look..."

"That doesn't mean...she's just lonely and needs a friend, that's all."

"Just, don't say I didn't warn you when she's putting 'the moves' on you."

"I doubt Liara has 'moves', Chief."

"You never know."

"Well, that's all I wanted. No more pranks. Got it."

"No more pranks at all or just no more pranks on Liara?"

"I don't care if you prank the other Alliance crew members, just no pranks on the non-humans."

"Yes ma'am."

"I should go. I'm exhausted." Shepard left the Gunnery Chief and headed for the elevator. Ashley's informal behavior with her surprisingly pleased the Spectre. Most Alliance soldiers preferred to keep the 'Butcher of Torfan' as far away as possible, but not Ash. This was primarily the reason the Gunnery Chief could get away with the teasing.

In the elevator, Shepard started to feel panicky as she reflected more on the conversations with Ashley. What if Liara did have feelings for her? Shepard knew she had to let her down gently. It was the only thing she could do. She didn't want to lead her on, and she definitely didn't want to use her for sex as she's done with so many other women in the past. She cared about Liara and greatly enjoyed their blossoming friendship; she didn't want to taint it by having her long dead libido rise from the dead like one of the hideously deformed, decaying zombies from the movie she just watched with Liara.

Still, the thought of Liara's possible attraction excited Shepard. It awoke a long forgotten sleeping demon inside of her. It had been almost two years since Shepard last slept with a woman; since her personal vow to stop having meaningless sexual encounters. But, damn, sometimes she missed it. She missed the feeling of her own bare skin pressed up against another woman's soft, warm, and inviting body. She missed the taste of a woman's soft lips; the feeling of another's tongue on her own. She missed the sound of the moans that would often escape her lover's lips, as she slowly caressed and licked their hungry bodies, bringing them into a state of euphoria. Shepard was anguished to discover that she was currently thinking about Liara occupying all of the places in her sexual day dream.

"Goddamn you, Williams," Shepard whispered as she stepped from the elevator.

"What was that, Commander?"

Shepard turned to source of the sound. She didn't think anyone would be in the mess at this hour, but Kaidan Alenko was sitting at the main table by himself. He looked up from his evening snack at the Commander, as he awaited her answer.

"Nothing."

"I thought you said something about Williams? Has she done something?"

"No. She just gets on my nerves sometimes."

"I hear you. You look stressed, though. Is something troubling you about the mission?"

Shepard took a seat across from Kaidan. She didn't feel like talking at the moment, but she saw no problem with humoring the Lieutenant for a few minutes with small talk.

"The mission's always troubling."

"It's frustrating. Saren's out there somewhere, with his geth army, plotting who knows what, and we can't get any back up from the Council? Something stinks here, Commander."

"I know. I'm sure they'll want to do something when he attacks one of their own colonies, but for now...we are on our own. Well, except for our non-human allies on the ship, of course."

Kaidan leaned forward as his voice lowered. "By the way, I've been meaning to ask you something important. I'm concerned about one of the non-humans."

"What did Wrex do now?"

"It's not Wrex, but Liara."

Shepard shot Kaidan a surprised look. "Liara? What's wrong with her?"

"There's nothing wrong with her, it's just..." Kaidan paused to consider his next words carefully. "There's a lower deck rumor that she's interested in you as more than a source of Prothean knowledge."

_Oh, shit...not Kaidan too_! Shepard thought to herself. _Damn Williams must have put this in his head._

"Who told you that, Williams?"

"No, ma'am. It wasn't her."

"She's not interested in me. That's final. I know the science-y types...they have a one-track mind. With her it's 'Protheans, Protheans, Protheans' with no room for 'Shepard' in there."

"Are you disappointed?"

"What? No. No, of course not."

"I'm just worried about a potential situation here, Shepard. You need to be careful."

Shepard took a deep breath and rested her palms against the table. "There's nothing to worry about, Alenko. Seriously, she's an asari, I'm a human. It wouldn't work out anyway."

"I don't see why species would matter, or should matter here."

"I just don't go for asari. Never have, never will."

"I don't think you should limit yourself like that, Shepard. But, if you do decide to get involved with Liara..."

"It's not happening."

"...just be careful."

"No need to be careful, Lieutenant."

"Well, given all the time you two spend together talking about her research or watching movies, I just figured there might be something between you two. Sorry if I overstepped my bounds, ma'am."

"It's fine. You are just looking out for your Commander. I'm going to try and get some sleep. I'd appreciate it if you didn't spread this 'rumor' any further."

"I won't, Commander."

With those words, Shepard arose from the table and headed for her quarters. She hoped sleep would come easy and would last uninterrupted throughout the night. It did come easy. Shepard drifted off to sleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. However, the sleep was brief and interrupted by nightmarish visions.

* * *

The smells wafting from the garbage can offended her sensitive little nose. The trash hadn't been picked up in a few days and was nearly filled to the top. It would disgust anyone who wasn't used to experiencing the filth of a large city every day and New York was the filthiest city of them all. However, she was starving. She and Sammy hadn't had a decent bite to eat in a few days, and she knew they needed nourishment soon before they both would get sick. Unfortunately, the local soup kitchens couldn't produce enough food to properly feed all the downtrodden and the homeless that resided in this area of the city, and they merely provided a small supplement to what food could be found in dumpsters or gained through begging...or through theft.

Luckily, she recently witnessed a man discard his take-out container into the nearby garbage can shortly after exiting the _Dragon Moon_ Chinese restaurant. She grabbed Sammy by his tiny hand and quickly pulled him over towards the restaurant, greedily using her free hand to pluck the carton off the top of the stinky garbage pile rotting within the trash can. She then lead the young urchin over to the dark alley that the pair called home. She hoped their bellies would be somewhat full when they laid down to rest for the evening.

Sammy finally spoke as they sat down on the blanket they both sleep on at night, "I'm hungry, Rae Rae."

"I know, I know. Let's see what we have here." She tried her best to comfort the starved five year old boy who became her ward ever since the two fled the orphanage in which they were both born, roughly a year before. She was the care-giver for the young child, even though she was only a child herself. Eight years old.

She smiled when she opened the take-out container. It was half full of noodles, and even contained a few bits of meat.

"Yes, we will eat good tonight, Sammy!" She smiled at her young friend as she ruffled the filthy, chestnut hair on his head. He beamed up at her with the smile that always brightened her day, no matter how retched and bleak it was, in spite of him missing a few of his front teeth. She remembered telling him the lost baby teeth would grow back someday, even though she wasn't sure herself that they ever would...

"You're the bestest at finding stuff, Rae Rae!"

"Yeah, sometimes. Here ya' go." She handed Sammy the carton of food so he could eat first. She always made certain he had his fill before she did. He immediately began to grab the noodles with his dirty little fingers and scoop them into his mouth. She blankly stared straight ahead, satisfied that she was able to find some food, as Sammy continued to devour the noodles.

Suddenly, her field of vision was consumed with a blinding and incredibly piercing yellow and orange light. Her head screamed in pain as she heard hauntingly inhuman shrieks that overpowered other ones. These second shrieks did sound almost human but something was different. She grabbed her head and her hair, then keeled over, screaming as the pain wracked her body. She still heard the shrieking. The loudest sounded mechanical in origin. She reached out for Sammy but he was gone. Gone forever.

The lights dimmed and she could start to make out amorphous, dark, and blurry shapes surrounding her on all sides. Something was reaching for her. It wasn't human, nor was it like any alien she had ever seen...

Rachel Shepard woke up from her nightmare. She was distraught and whimpered softly, as sweat trickled down her forehead. Ever since her run-in with the Prothean beacon, she experienced dreams similar to the one she just had every night. The dreams would start out 'normal': a childhood memory, a reenactment of a mundane event from the previous day, or a dream where she was fighting Saren wearing nothing but the boxer shorts Liara had given her. They always ended with blinding light and mechanical screeches with unrecognizable dark shapes eventually materializing, sometimes flashing wildly around her. Shepard didn't know what these visions meant or how to stop them. She did know that it was impossible to get a good night's sleep with them. Memories of her only childhood friend made the night's dream even worse.

Shepard rose from bed in order to dress. She knew she wasn't getting any more rest and decided to finish writing a report for the Alliance.

* * *

_Elsewhere on the Normandy_

Liara rode the elevator down to the lower level of the _Normandy_. She would often take walks around the Normandy to clear her head and to take a much needed break from her own studies. Liara exited the elevator and noticed that Williams' absence from her work station. She walked over to the bench Ashley worked on, noticing how neat the Gunnery Chief kept her tools. Liara wished that she could do the same with her own research equipment, but was usually too distracted by the latest theories to notice minute details.

Liara's musings were interrupted when she heard voices coming from the other side of the level, near the Mako. Even though she couldn't see the owners of the sounds, she could discern that they originated from Garrus and Wrex. The pair sounded in disagreement over something.

"Why are you here then, Wrex?"

"For the fight, why else would I be? Why are you here, turian?"

"I don't know. There's a rogue Spectre on the loose with his geth army...it _might_ have something to do with trying to stop him," Garrus replied in a sardonic tone.

"Pfft...you turians just want to clean up your own mess."

"It's not about that."

"Right...I expect this mission to fail, but I'll be gone by then."

"You don't believe in Shepard? Or her team?"

"She's a human, and most of them are too...why should I?"

"She's Shepard...she's a Spectre...she gets the job done."

"I don't give a vorcha's ass if she's a Spectre...a Spectre started this mess in the first place. A _turian_ Spectre, I might add."

"I know." Garrus ignored Wrex's obvious attempt at aggravating him. "Shepard is different. She'll get the job done...if you can't see that, I don't know why you're here."

"For the fight, like I told you, boy."

"You need to get your priorities straight, old man."

Wrex snarled, "Priorities? I got mine...you don't even know what yours are."

"I'm done here...you don't know the meaning of loyalty, not even to your own people."

"Don't preach to me, turian. I'm loyal to myself...that's all that matters."

"Forget it."

Garrus stormed out from around the other side of the Mako and headed in the direction of the elevator...and Liara. Liara decided to initiate a conversation after locking eyes with Garrus. She was curious as to the nature of the argument.

"What is troubling you Garrus? I heard what happened and..."

"Nothing...don't worry about it," Garrus replied dismissively.

"I know something is wrong, what is it?"

"Not here," Garrus whispered. He motioned for Liara to follow him into the elevator. As the door closed shut, he finally began to address Liara's question.

"It's Wrex."

"Why? What happened?"

"I don't think he's here for the right reasons."

"Why do you think he is here then?"

"Fighting, killing…proving to everyone what a big, tough krogan he is. He doesn't care about the mission or any of us."

"I see."

"I tried to speak with him, Shepard has tried to speak with him...there's no getting through that old, thick skull of his."

Liara looked concerned. "Do you think he will be a problem?"

Garrus mirrored the asari's concern as his mandibles flared, "I don't know. I hope not. I won't allow him to jeopardize Shepard's mission."

"Nor will I. Do you think I should speak with him?"

"That won't help Liara," Garrus laughed softly.

"Why? Maybe I could use the Protheans as an example to convince..."

"He doesn't trust you...he thinks you will stab us all in the back to save your mother when the time comes."

"What? Goddess, I would...I would never do such a thing!"

"I know, I know. Shepard knows too. We trust you. Just know that not everyone does on this ship."

"I...see. Thank you, Garrus...for telling me this."

The elevator door opened and the two exited the platform, turning towards the mess hall.

"Wrex has trust issues...be wary," Garrus added as he made his way over to the packaged food dispenser.

"But...you trust me?" Liara followed him in order to continue the conversation.

"Yes. You've poured your heart into this mission, more than Wrex has...how can I not trust you?"

"Thank you, that means a great deal...does Shepard trust me?"

"Yeah, she does, or she wouldn't let you near her. You wouldn't even be allowed on this ship if she didn't. She's not a fool. I know her type. She doesn't trust easily, so if you gain that trust...you better not waste it."

"No, she is not...a fool, I mean...thank you."

"Stop thanking me, I haven't done anything."

"No, you have. Trust me."

Garrus shoved the food packet in the side pocket of his armor. "I need to get back to work. I don't know what the hell Shepard did to the Mako the last time she had it out on Feros... so long, Liara."

"Goodbye, Garrus."

Liara was now alone in the mess hall. She sat at the main table and rested her head against her right hand, quickly becoming lost in various trains of thought. It was relieving to know that Shepard trusted her, though troublesome to know that others did not. She wondered why Shepard trusted her, but gave up after running a few ideas through her head. Shepard was like a black box...it was impossible to figure out her reasons for doing anything, her motivations, and her desires. Liara still wanted to know. She still wanted to reveal the 'secret Shepard' that no one else had yet to uncover. At first, Liara attributed these desires to her own inclinations as an archaeologist. After spending more personal time with Shepard, she realized that her motivations were different.

Liara wanted to learn everything about Shepard in order to be as close to her as possible. She wanted this because she cared for her on some level. That she 'cared' for her was the only way she could describe these feelings, as she didn't quite understand everything Shepard stirred within her. Liara desired some type of 'connection' with Shepard and, to a person that spent the majority of her adult life seeking out long forgotten secrets, obtaining as much knowledge on Shepard as possible was the only way to understand her. It worked with the Protheans. Still, Liara knew that her desire to gain some sort of intimacy with Shepard couldn't be compared to an academic pursuit. However, she really had no other idea on how to approach it.

Intimacy; Liara wondered how intimate she wanted to get with Shepard. She didn't know. She wanted to be even closer friends with her, but did she want to stop there?

The subject of Liara's thoughts entered the mess hall, bringing them suddenly to a halt.

"Liara? What are you doing up so late?" Shepard spoke wearily as she approached the seated asari and stood next to her. Liara, startled, jumped a bit in her chair before composing herself.

"I could ask you the same question."

"I couldn't sleep so I decided to work instead." Shepard took a seat opposite of Liara.

"You are having trouble sleeping? Do you mind if I ask why?'

"That...beacon. You know about it and how it gave me visions, right? The visions are also in my dreams every night. I can't sleep because of them."

"I am sorry. Have you tried anything to remedy them?"

"No. They don't even make sense."

"Would you mind if I made a strange request of you, Shepard?"

"No...go ahead."

"I know that Shiala gave you the Cipher through the melding, through a shared mental connection, by joining her consciousness with yours. If I were to establish a similar connection with your mind..." Liara hesitated, nervous about what she was about to suggest. "...it may be possible for me to study your visions and then use my expertise on the Protheans to help you make some sense of them."

Liara's request didn't register with Shepard immediately. She continued to stare blankly at the asari as Liara continued. "That may not help with the nightmares, but it may provide us with a key piece of information regarding Saren's motives."

Shepard hated the experience of her first ever asari mind-meld when she allowed Shiala to join with her back on Feros. It felt awkward and she loathed the idea of anyone getting inside her head. She felt like she lost herself, her very identity, and she hated that. Shepard really didn't want to experience the meld ever again, especially not after the wearisome night of interrupted sleep. However, part of her felt that it would be different with Liara. She was a friend. Shiala was a stranger. Still, the thought of someone getting inside of her head again was disturbing. She knew she had to push those fears aside for the sake of the mission. Liara _might_ be able to make sense of the strange things that haunt her during sleep.

"Okay. Do you want to do it now?"

"Yes, Shepard. If you are feeling well enough, I am free."

"I don't want to do it here, though. Follow me into my cabin."

"I will." The two left the table and walked over to the entrance to the cabin. They both entered through the door without another word to each other. Nerves silenced their tongues. Liara knew that in mere minutes she would get to experience Shepard's mind first-hand and form a brief, but intimate, connection between herself and the Commander. This prospect did frighten her a little, but mostly it was exhilarating. She felt a strange mix of nerves and anticipation.

Shepard, on the other hand, worried that Liara would see too much during the meld; private things she never wished for anyone to know, especially Liara. She _really_ didn't want Liara to find out about the recent lustful thoughts that involved her. Who knows how the asari would react to them?

The feeling in the cabin was tense.

"What do I need to do?" Shepard's voice was a bit hoarse, due to nerves. Still, the Spectre appeared outwardly calm, in spite of the chaotic feelings that danced wildly in her nervous system.

"Just relax." Liara moved even closer to Shepard. She began her own mental preparations for the meld, and desperately needed to calm her nerves. For starters, she had never melded with a non-asari before. Then there was Shepard with her dark brown eyes, standing mere feet in front of her and calmly looking back into her own eyes, expecting guidance from her…trusting her. Desire burned hotly within Liara. She not only yearned for a mental connection with Shepard, but a physical one as well. She knew she would have to settle for just the mental one, as she suspected any physical contact with the Commander would be considered highly inappropriate, and most likely ruin their friendship.

"Focus on my eyes," Liara whispered nervously as she locked her gaze with Shepard's.

Shepard tried to prepare for the meld as well. She started to focus solely on her memories regarding the Prothean beacon images, as well as memories of the events that occurred on Eden Prime. She hoped this would prevent Liara from having access to anything else.

"Embrace eternity."

Brown on blue eyes turned to brown on black eyes. Shepard felt the familiar sensation of being pulled away from herself; the same as the last time she melded with Shiala. This time, the loss of her sense of self wasn't as sudden or as jarring. Liara slowly took Shepard's consciousness into her own, almost as if she were drinking and savoring it like a fine wine. Shiala had consumed it in one large gulp. The experience was still a bit disconcerting for Shepard at first, but in a few moments she adjusted to the strangeness. With Shiala, she went from 'Shepard' to the 'Shepard-Shiala' hybrid in mere splits seconds. She didn't get to appreciate the transition between the two states of consciousness. Shepard felt it now. She witnessed in her mind the slow transition from her own singular consciousness to a shared one with Liara. The process was oddly soothing and comforting, as she felt herself inching ever so slowly towards a state of pure union with another. Towards the end of the melding transition, Shepard even felt physically closer to Liara and believed their bodies would eventually melt and merge into one. Shepard's mind went numb as the joining process came to a completion. The two beings now shared one consciousness.

The melding with Liara eradicated Shepard's typical thought processes and mental linkages. For example, thinking about Torfan always led to feelings of extreme guilt and regret. Thinking about her childhood friend, Sammy, always let to extreme sadness and more guilt. This was all gone now. The memories simply existed in her mind and lacked much of their usual emotional context. They also mixed with others she didn't recognize, but knew they belonged to Liara. Most of these memories involved visions of Prothean-looking structures and artifacts so Shepard assumed Liara had focused solely on her research before initiating the meld. Still, the meld _was_ emotional in spite of the regular thought patterns being absent.

Shepard and Liara together gradually began to form newer and shared emotions about all the thoughts and memories that were jumbled together in their joint consciousness. Memories of times they shared with each other jumped swiftly to the forefront: the movie night they recently shared together, the times Shepard would listen intently as Liara explained one of her latest research findings to the Spectre, battling the Thorian together on Feros, the warm hug and all the feelings that accompanied it. The shared consciousness started to relive the emotions felt during the hug. The warm tenderness and the feelings of safety and tranquility that the hug brought out in both of them when they experienced it individually was felt now as one; it was felt much more strongly together than as individuals. The feeling was simply incredible for both Shepard and Liara. After the meld, they would never be able to fully describe it enough to do it justice, as each of them didn't really exist as individuals when they experienced it. The fact that the meld was indescribable; the fact that no other being could ever know what the two joined beings shared during an asari mind-meld made the act that much more intimate.

Slowly, the memories shifted back towards the Protheans and the visions burned into Shepard's brain. The shared consciousness decided to stop reminiscing and enjoying the emotional bliss in its existence, returning to task at hand.

Eventually, Liara ended the meld with Shepard. As she regained her own individual consciousness, Shepard noticed that Liara's nose was nearly touching her own. She felt Liara's arms embracing her, wrapping themselves around her shoulders. Shepard's own hands were wrapped around Liara's waist. During the meld, the two must have drifted closer to each other, eventually making contact by holding on to one another. Brown eyes looked again into blue eyes as blue eyes looked at brown. They held each other's gaze for a very long moment before Shepard pulled away, her face burning hot from embarrassment. She wanted to hide from Liara. She wanted to kiss Liara. She quickly spoke in order to hide her nervousness and confusion.

"Did you see anything about the Protheans?"

Liara, equally embarrassed, was relieved that Shepard wanted to discuss the visions.

"I did. I saw some places that I recognize from my research. Unfortunately, the visions seem incomplete or corrupt. You may need to find another beacon in order to fill in the missing data. Saren might have another beacon or is currently searching for one."

"Damn, I here I really hoped you would find all the answers to my problems," Shepard jested, rubbing her temples.

"I know this must be difficult for you. There is so much at stake and you are the only one that can prevent the darkness from coming."

"Yeah, lucky me."

"Are you feeling well, Shepard? The joining is exhausting. Even I am starting to feel a bit light-headed."

"You should see Doctor Chakwas. She might still be awake at this hour. If not, her assistant should be around."

"That will not be necessary. I just need to sit down for a few moments…," Liara pointed to the table in Shepard's cabin, "…if you do not mind?"

"No, I don't. I'm going to go grab some water for us. I'll give you a few moments of privacy."

"Thank you, Shepard," Liara replied with a small smile. Shepard left the room and Liara was left to reflect on the meld and the woman she shared it with. She decided that she couldn't hide her feelings for Shepard from the human, or herself, any longer. She had to talk to Shepard about them, especially since they both shared a mind-meld, and would probably be sharing more in the future.

Liara's strength returned as Shepard entered with two glasses of water, handing one to Liara as she sat down across from her at the table.

"Here you go. How are you feeling, Liara?"

"I am feeling better."

They sat drinking in silence for a few moments before Liara finally spoke up, "Shepard. I must speak with you about something important. I must…confess something to you, and I hope I do not endanger our friendship by doing so."

Shepard paused her drinking. She worried that this confession had something to do with one of her memories Liara might have seen during the meld. She hoped it had nothing to do with Torfan.

"What is it, Liara?"

"I…I looked into your history. I know about Torfan and what you had to do there. I know about your criminal record and that you grew up in the slums on your species' home-world."

Shepard was hurt that Liara would go behind her back without just asking her first. "Why did you look that up? Why not ask me about them?"

"You always seemed reluctant to speak of those things. I was afraid of making a fool of myself by bringing up a sensitive topic with you." Liara looked away from Shepard briefly before her eyes wandered back to the Spectre's again. "I wanted to learn more about you; discover the person you truly are underneath the one you hide under. There is something…compelling about you, Shepard."

"I doubt you're interested in me, but only my visions of the Protheans," Shepard replied with a chuckle.

"I admit, that was the source of my original interest but it has grown beyond that. You intrigue me, Shepard. I find myself growing more and more attracted to you with each moment we spend together. Sometimes I feel…I feel as if you return these feelings. I feel a connection growing between us and I wonder if you do feel the same way?"

Shepard was in a state of complete disbelief. She couldn't believe the others were right about Liara. She didn't want to believe it. "I don't know what to say, Liara."

"Just say whatever it is that you feel. I will not be hurt. I understand if you do not feel the same way."

It would be easy for Shepard to simply tell Liara that she didn't feel anything for her, but that would be a lie. It would probably be the best thing for both of them, but a lie nonetheless. In the moments after the meld, Shepard realized that she did care deeply for Liara and found herself irresistibly drawn to her on many levels. Her stomach looped up and down in circles like a yo-yo and her knees went weak as she remembered the beauty of the meld and the indescribable emotions it stirred within her or, more accurately, within the pair of them. She knew the situation called for honesty.

"No, you are right, Liara. There is something between us." Shepard finally just whispered the truth.

"I knew it, and I knew you felt it too." Liara smiled briefly but then her face turned serious. "What will we do now, Shepard? What are we supposed to do?"

"I don't know. This is new to me, really."

"I also lack experience with such things. I…we…this was unexpected."

"What was unexpected?"

"You and I and…this. I assumed you would feel differently about me and would insist that you wished to remain only friends."

"Maybe we should stay friends as this is all new to us and we don't know what we want out of it? We don't know what to do and then there's the mission…"

"That is probably the best course of action, Shepard. Will we be able to do that, honestly?"

Shepard sighed, "Honestly? No, we probably won't be able to forget about these feelings."

"I see. I am not sure what to make of this and…us. I need more time to think about it. Things did not go as I expected they would. I should go, Shepard. Excuse me." Liara abruptly turned and quickly fled the cabin, leaving the uncomfortable situation and the human that was the source of it behind her. Before Shepard had the mind to stop her, she was gone.


	9. Chapter 8

_Liara will be pleased_, Shepard thought as she looked over the latest email received. The email came from Dr. Garver, lead scientist at the Alliance's _Archaeological Research and Artifact__ Dating Laboratory_. Shepard had sent a Prothean data disk off to this lab a few weeks ago for various testing, including dating and chemical analysis, on Liara's request.

Shepard forwarded the email off to Liara before rising from her desk in order to make her way over to the med bay. She was nervous; she had barely spoken to the asari since a few days ago when they both admitted mutual attraction for the other. Duty, and a bit of shyness, kept the Spectre from seeking out Liara for company and conversation. She pushed her reservations aside for the moment as she desired to know if the data from the lab would be useful to Liara.

As Shepard entered the storage room of the med bay, Liara turned from her monitor and smiled.

"Thank you, Shepard."

"I see you've read my email."

"Yes." Liara couldn't stop smiling as she stood up to face Shepard. "The data received from the laboratory appears quite interesting from first glance. I am amazed at how thorough they tested the disk. This will definitely keep me busy for some time to come."

"Well, I'm happy."

"These research studies also confirm that the disk is from the period just preceding the Prothean extinction; their 'Golden Age', so to speak. I was worried the artifact would be older."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes. If so, it would fall out of the Prothean time period I focus my research on. I would have to send the disk and the data to one of my mentors at _The University of Serrice_, Professor Arayna; fortunate for her; disappointing for me." Liara smiled. "However, that is not the case."

Shepard mirrored Liara's smile. "So, do you all fight over artifacts then?"

"Well, I wouldn't say 'fight', but things can get quite...competitive. For instance, when the Council created an archaeological team with the purpose of studying the Prothean beacon found by the Alliance on Eden Prime, I desperately requested to become member. However, the competition for these spots was great, and the more distinguished researchers with seniority were given the positions instead of someone like me. Unfortunately, as you are well aware, the Council's team never got the chance to study the beacon, as the geth attacked and it was destroyed."

"Yeah, I remember something about that..."

"Yes, you should." Liara smiled playfully, pleased with herself that she picked up on the Commander's wry joke.

"Well, you still lucked out. You have me now, and I have all the visions from the beacon in my brain...and you have exclusive access to them."

"Yes. I am extremely fortunate to have you...uh, and your visions. Wait, no...I didn't mean it like that but..."

Shepard chuckled softly, "No, I know what you mean."

Liara sighed. "I think we should talk; about our conversation a few nights ago."

Shepard knew she would have to face this eventually. "Okay."

Suddenly, Joker's voice interrupted from above.

"Commander Shepard! Big surprise! Hackett desires your undivided attention. I've patched him through to the comm at the Galaxy Map."

"Fine, I'll be there in a minute." A relieved Shepard turned to the disappointed looking Liara. "We can continue this conversation later. I promise."

"Thank you." Liara smiled as Shepard turned towards the door and left the med bay. Liara sighed wistfully as she took the seat at her desk and continued pouring over the research data.

"That's a terrible idea, Admiral. I'm probably the _last_ person in the galaxy Kyle would listen to."

"I know, I know. But you're our last hope. I honestly don't expect this to end peacefully. Kyle and his cult have already murdered the two Alliance investigators sent to their base. From what we've been able to discern, they are extremely fanatical...and dangerous."

"So, you're basically sending us to wipe him out along with the entire cult?"

"Ideally, I hope you can reason with him; convince him to surrender. Violence is the last resort, but if it's necessary, then I think you and your team can definitely handle it."

Reluctantly, Shepard finally agreed. "All right, give me the coordinates and we'll take care of it."

"I knew I could count on you, Shepard."

The comm-link disconnected and Shepard stepped down from the platform overlooking the Galaxy Map. She felt like Wrex had punched her in the gut with all his might five times. She had to face Major Kyle; the man responsible for her deployment to Torfan; her commanding officer during the campaign; a man she hated. Originally, Rachel Shepard wasn't assigned to Torfan given her value to the Alliance as a biotic. Kyle fought hard against the brass to ensure she accompanied his unit. He resented her and the fact that she had received special treatment from the Alliance due to her biotic abilities. He resented that she could get away with insubordination, especially when the offense was against him. Torfan was Kyle's chance to finally punish the rebellious young officer.

A part of Shepard blamed Kyle for what she did on Torfan and this fueled a small spark of hatred for the man. Even though she knew that most of the blame fell on her own shoulders, she couldn't help but remember that she wasn't even _supposed_ to be there, and Kyle forced this fate on her out of spite.

Shepard arranged a brief squad meeting to prepare her team for the assignment. She doubted she would ever be prepared for it.

* * *

_Presrop, Century System, Hawking Eta Cluster_

The biotic cult compound was easy to locate on the desolate moon of Klendagon known as 'Presrop'. Shepard decided to take a larger squad than normal, with Liara, Wrex, Ashley, and Garrus all squeezing into the Mako for the drop onto the moon's surface. It was a tight fit, especially with Wrex, but those packaged within the vehicle had experienced far more uncomfortable conditions in their lives. Only Ashley complained, though justifiably as she was pinned between the interior wall of the vehicle and an enormous krogan.

Shepard decided that Liara and Wrex should directly accompany her to face the biotic cult while Ashley and Garrus perched themselves high up on a cliff in order to snipe any cultist reinforcements. The compound was comprised of two buildings and it could be assumed that both were filled with cultists, while one contained Major Kyle. If the cultists allowed Shepard and crew into the building with Kyle, the fear was that cultists from the other building could seal the exits and trap the squad inside. Ashley and Garrus had orders to prevent this.

As for Liara and Wrex, Shepard took them with her first and foremost for intimidation purposes and then secondly for their biotic prowess. Shepard hoped that walking up to the base with an asari and a krogan both armed to the teeth would send Kyle and his followers a message: unless they surrender, things will get ugly quick. She hoped Kyle would prove reasonable and surrender; a quick and bloodless mission, but then that spiteful and angry part of her wanted to end Kyle, violently.

The three biotics slowly but confidently approached the entrance to the largest building of the compound while Ashley and Garrus each kept an eye on the area through their targeting scope, high up on their perch.

"I'm betting this is going to get ugly." Garrus remarked to the Gunnery Chief through the private comm link they shared.

"Yeah…for the cultists. Hey, I bet I can take out more of these zealots than you can!" Ashley teased the turian.

"You're on. We'll each keep count of our kills and compare them in the end. No cheating."

"I don't have to cheat. I should be more worried about you, Garrus. You turians can't stand the thought of losing to a human. I'm betting you're going to add five kills to your final total."

"No, that doesn't bother me. I've never lost any competition to a human, and never will."

"There's a first time for everything."

"Not today, Williams."

Meanwhile, Shepard, Liara, and Wrex finally reached the entrance to the building. An angry and impatient voice greeted them from the intercom located by the door.

"This is a private sanctuary. Outsiders are not welcome here."

"I need to talk to the man in charge...it's important."

"Father Kyle wants nothing more to do with the Alliance!"

"My name's Shepard. I served under him at Torfan. I need to talk to him before this gets violent."

The intercom went silent for a few minutes as Wrex and Shepard exchanged impatient glances. Liara remained poised and stoic as per usual on these missions. Shepard always wondered what was going through the asari's mind before and during combat.

Suddenly, the voice returned.

"Father Kyle's agreed to speak with you. Head to the building at the far end of the compound. He'll meet you there."

Wrex grumbled as the trio walked over to the other building.

Shepard sent an update to Williams, "Chief. We're heading over to the building on the eastern side of the compound. We're going to be going inside. I don't know what's going to happen in there but I'll let you know if things get hostile."

"Aye aye, ma'am."

"If things go to hell, you and Garrus know what to do. Pick off all hostiles that leave the main building in an attempt to trap us in Kyle's bunker."

"Aye aye, ma'am."

"Shepard out."

In the meantime, the trio finally reached the building that housed Father Kyle. The door opened automatically as they neared and they continued through the door and towards their destination.

The interior of the building was nothing fancy. The inside was mainly littered with crates and boxes. You would think the place derelict and abandoned if it wasn't for the cultists occupying it. Shepard counted five heads in the first room; hardly an overwhelming force. The party continued walking through the building along a narrow hallway towards the end where Kyle supposedly resided in an office, so to speak. Shepard counted two more cultists in the hallway. The team finally reached the end of the hall, and turned to face the room and the door that hid the former Alliance Major. Shepard pressed the button and the door swung open, revealing a decently large room and better furnished than the remainder of the building. Shepard spotted the man she blamed for Torfan being in her life.

"Look what we have here. The 'Butcher of Torfan'." The man Shepard recognized as a slightly older Major Kyle spoke. His voice lacked emotion or inflection.

Shepard noticed that four others arose with Kyle, putting the total known head count at eleven cultists plus Kyle. Shepard assumed that each of the cultists had some biotic ability and also probably possessed at least a pistol. Kyle was probably armed with some type of fire arm. Of course, Shepard knew there were probably many more cultists in the other building that would rush to this one at any sign of trouble, effectively blocking their plans for escape. The building only had one exit that she knew of. Shepard hoped Ash and Garrus would take care of this problem. She knew they would.

"We have no quarrel with you or your Alliance, Shepard. Why can't you just leave us alone."

"You killed two Alliance officers. I'm here to disband this cult and apprehend those responsible for the murders."

"They wanted to take me away from here. Turn my back on this place and abandon my family. They spoke blasphemy. I made sure their deaths were quick and painless. It was necessary. I needed to protect my children. Only I can keep them safe."

"Safe? The only way to save these people now is to surrender and disband this cult."

Kyle's voice raised slightly, "I can't do that. They need me. They need their father!"

Shepard spat angrily at Kyle, "Don't be a fool! You know what I'm capable of! You can see the asari and krogan I have with me! If you and your people attack us it will only end in the slaughter of you and your entire 'family'."

"I speak but you do not listen. I see you haven't changed after all this time, Shepard. I will not let you of all people destroy my family!"

Kyle quickly reached for his sidearm but Shepard was quicker on the draw. She hit him with a blast from her pistol square in his chest. The force of impact knocked him over and sent him crashing into his desk as he left out a small whimper, leaving him unconscious. Immediately, his four guards attacked.

Liara gracefully created a singularity that engulfed three of the cultists. As they circled against their will around the center of the singularity point, Liara and Shepard finished them off easily with a few simple warp fields. Shepard rarely used her biotic, but she forgot about her self-imposed restriction on using them for this battle. She hated the feeling of biotics coursing through her own body but she was now too angry to notice the feeling. She actually reveled in it. Anger and biotics mixed well within her. Shepard's biotic barrier glowed angrily as she turned to face the sound of more cultists storming into the room to their inevitable deaths. Wrex noticed them too.

One of the cultists readied and aimed a biotic attack against the krogan that would never hit its intended target, as Wrex was quicker and more powerful with his own. The krogan created a biotic field that overpowered the human cultist's, knocking her swiftly back against the nearest wall, killing her instantly.

"This is my kind of mission, Shepard!' Wrex looked like he was enjoying a day at the park.

Another cultist sprung quickly on Wrex but he was no match for the thousand year old krogan. This time, Wrex relinquished the use of biotics and charged head on at the cultist, shotgun trained on the human's midsection, as a primal growl erupted from his large mouth. The cultist hesitated out of fear and failed to summon the biotic attack he planned to use against the krogan. Wrex slammed into the weaker combatant sending him hurling against the unforgiving floor, almost knocking him unconscious. His last vision was that of an enraged krogan battlemaster standing over his prone body, firing a single, fatal shotgun blast to his chest.

Shepard and Liara disposed of the other cultists. The asari's biotics glared ethereally as she lifted two of the human attackers into the air, while the Spectre finished them off with another warp field that tore the cultist's apart a molecular level. The trio disposed of the cultists almost as if they were a single biotic entity. Their previous training and missions together had almost granted them something similar to a hive mind when it came to biotic combat. An aged krogan battlemaster, an asari that trained under the galaxy's greatest Commandos, and an elite N7 Spectre: a force far too dangerous for a handful of average powered human biotics.

After the battle, the room was engulfed in an eerie silence. The trio still remained poised in case more cultists arrived on the scene. After a few moments, Shepard realized that Williams and Vakarian must have succeeded in keeping reinforcements from the other building from entering this one.

* * *

_Moments earlier_

Ashley was getting antsy at her post. She caught herself daydreaming about her family; wondering when would be the next time she'd get to see them all. At other times in her career, she could always take an extended shore leave to go visit her mom and her sisters, but this time was different. This time, she was in the big leagues. This time, she was on Shepard's team, the first human Spectre, the only person that could save the galaxy from the rogue turian Spectre Saren. There was no time for shore leave.

Ashley's thoughts were interrupted as she spied a slew of cultists rush out of the main building; their obvious detestation being Kyle's bunker; towards Shepard and her crew. She knew diplomacy just went to hell. At this time, she also received the signal from Shepard that things inside didn't go peacefully.

"Here we go!" Ashley heard Garrus remark over their shared comm channel.

"You're on, turian!"

Ashley witnessed one of the cultists drop dead in his tracks. Damn, Garrus already had one up on her. She took aim at the cultists closest to the recently deceased one and fired. A perfect headshot dropped them quickly. The score was tied.

The pair continued their rain of death down upon the hoard of cultist reinforcements; neither of them missed a shot.

"Down you go!" Garrus exclaimed proudly as he took out another cultist.

"I hope your keeping an honest count, Garrus!" Ashley shouted exuberantly into the comm as she took down another.

"Your falling behind, Williams. Just shut up and focus!"

"Don't get too cocky yet, Garrus!"

Ashley did have to admit that it was a bit tricky focusing on her shooting while also trying to keep track of the death count she inflicted. This kind of competition amongst compatriots...this kind of freedom was all new to her. The Alliance definitely did not work this way. In the past, she was never able to snipe at enemies without approval from someone higher up in the chain. Determined to beat the turian, Ashley gritted her teeth, aimed at one of the cultists, and fired. The cultist dropped like a bag of bricks.

"Scratch one up for the human!"

"I'm still in the lead, Chief!"

"In your dreams, Garrus!"

At this time, only one more cultist remained on the surface of the moon. Ashley was determined to make this final shot. She gathered the cultist in her sights, going for a clean headshot. Her finger twitched on the trigger while she awaited the perfect opportunity to drop the enemy. Seconds later, the cultist froze, confused, and frightened. Ashley pulled the trigger.

The cultist dropped dead and the moon surface was finally clear of enemy reinforcements.

Ashley bragged victoriously. "Looks like the last kill was mine, Garrus!"

"Wrong. I took him down."

"No way! That one was mine!"

"You're wrong. I shot him before you did."

"Bull!"

"Then maybe that was a tie. How many did you get, Williams?"

"How many did you get?"

"I asked you first."

"I'm not falling for that."

Ashley could hear Garrus chuckling. "Well, the bottom line is that we kept Shepard, Wrex, and Liara safe. That should soften the blow of your loss in our competition."

"Screw you, Garrus!"

Ashley's frustrated reply prompted the former C-Sec officer to chuckle even louder.

* * *

_Returning to Kyle's compound_

Believing that the area was secured, Shepard approached the body of her former military commander. At first glance, he appeared to be dead. On closer inspection, she realized that Kyle was still breathing, painfully.

"Kill me, Shepard. You know that's why you came here today. To seek..." Kyle coughed; blood began to trickle in a stream from the corner of his mouth. "...vengeance." He seemed a different man from the one Shepard had spoken to moments earlier. It was possible that being close to death brought out Kyle's true personality, vanquishing his 'cult Father' persona.

"No, I came to resolve this situation peacefully and you left me no other choice!"

"You..." Kyle coughed again and pain wrecked his body. "You always had a choice. You could have followed the path on non-violence...today. On Torfan..."

"Bullshit! You never gave me a choice!"

"You always had a choice. Violence is easy for you..."

"No! You always made sure the cards were stacked against me. I'm not to blame for this! I asked you to surrender peacefully and you..._you _were the one who rejected that! Rejected peace!"

Kyle made an attempt to sit up but fell back into a heap on the floor. He finally mustered up the strength to speak again.

"So now...the Earthborn trash is trying to play the hero? Atone for your past mistakes?"

"Yes, I am."

"Do...you believe you...can?" Kyle's breathing slowly became slower and more labored. "Don't you remember the...innocents...the Alliance soldiers...the batarians..._you_ killed on Torfan!"

"I do remember."

"Really? Or...or are you the same...arrogant and self-entitled piece of shit you were back then?"

"I'm not. You don't know me anymore and you cannot judge me here!"

"But you still...blame me because I forced you...to serve on Torfan?"

Shepard dropped her gaze a few meters from the dying man as she took a few moments to contemplate her response. Both Wrex and Liara continued to observe the exchange wordless. The krogan looked impatient as the asari's countenance was one of concern and curiosity.

Finally, Shepard's gaze trained on Kyle again as she spoke softly. "No. You may be responsible for sending me there but ultimately _I'm_ responsible for what happened...for what went wrong. The blood is on my hands and on mine alone."

Wrex's impatience hit a crescendo and it exploded. "Just kill him, Shepard. Put him out of his misery so we can get out of here. I'm tired of listening to you humans whine."

Liara also broke her silence, "Wait! No! Don't you want to take him back to the Alliance for questioning? Why kill him?"

"He's dead. If you don't have the quads to kill him Shepard, then I will."

"Hold on!" Shepard turned angrily on Wrex. "I'm in charge here in case you forgot!"

Wrex retorted angrily. "We are wasting our time here while _you_ have a galaxy to save. You are the last person that can afford allowing their past to cloud their present."

Kyle interrupted weakly, with his last bit of energy. "Yes...now you are the savior. I want...I want to die knowing that it was worth it...I want to die knowing that you...will...be...better off because of it...end...me and..."

"It's not that easy!" Shepard cried out in frustration. "One death will not...will not make up for all of it."

"Either kill me...because...you hate me or..." Kyle began to fade fast, barely able to speak his final words.

Shepard slowly raised her pistol and pointed it at Kyle's head. She was shaking slightly and her body was engulfed in a cold sweat. The past hatred for him erupted to the surface. In that moment she felt blind anger; anger at Kyle for Torfan, anger at Kyle for the botched mission and the deaths of all the cultists that were under his care. It was all _his_ fault.

"Kill him if you must, Shepard. Just make sure you do it for the right reasons and not out of blind hatred." Liara attempted to calm the visibly enraged Spectre.

Shepard knew Liara was right. She had to start taking the steps necessary to escape her past. First she had to let go of it. Shepard started to look upon the broken and dying man in a new light. She now started to feel pity for him. She eventually moved on after Torfan and tried to do better while he did not. He was to blame for this...for the cult...for their deaths, not her. Since Torfan, she strived to make a better person of herself while he cowered and formed a cult of the alienated that he abused for his own purposes. She knew what she had to do.

Shepard took a deep breath and aimed her pistol at the chest of her former commanding officer. She didn't feel angry or vengeful any longer. It was now about bringing the former Major a quick and painless death. It was about starting to heal the scars carved into her soul at Torfan.

Shepard was relaxed, even peaceful, as she pulled the trigger.

Kyle grunted as he fell back on to the floor dead.

Wrex snorted impatiently. "Finally! Let's get out of here, Shepard."

"Give her time, Wrex." Liara tried to remain calm and succeeded in spite of her own frustrations with the krogan and his insensitivity.

"We don't have time, asari."

Shepard abruptly stepped into her 'leader' role, "All right. We're done here. Let's move out. Keep an eye out for stragglers."

Shepard motioned for her crew to follow her as they exited the room. As she was leaving the room, one of the bodies of the dead cultists caught her eye. The man's eyes stared lifelessly back at her; the pool of red blood surrounding his body served as an accusation. She still failed the mission. So many people died at her hands; needlessly. If she had only gotten through to Kyle earlier, this wouldn't have happened...

"Shepard? Are you feeling well?" Liara spoke as she grabbed the Spectre's elbow gently.

Shepard paused for a moment before replying, "Yes. I'm fine. Let's go."

The trio made their way to the center of the building and the exit. It finally dawned on Shepard that Ashley and Garrus were awaiting an update. She touched her index finger to her ear in order to activate her comm unit.

"Williams!"

"Commander?"

"Status report?"

"It's all quiet out here. All enemy hostiles are accounted for."

"Excellent. We've cleared out the compound and removed Kyle. Meet us at the rendezvous point."

Ashley and Garrus arrived at the Mako before the others. They were now finally able to continue discussing the results of their 'game'.

"I won. Admit it, Williams."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that."

"How many?"

"I'm not telling you because you will then claim that you shot one more than I did."

"All right, so we'll both tell another crew member our total, someone like Tali. When we get back to the ship, I'll go and tell her my kill count and you'll do the same. Then, she can tell us who really won."

"How can I trust that you won't buy her off so she'll claim that your score was higher regardless?"

"That's ridiculous!"

The two snipers halted their banter as they both caught a glimpse of Shepard and her team of Liara and Wrex approaching from around the edge of the inlet that hid the Mako from sight of the cultist compound. Ashley and Garrus remained silent as the three approached. They were both relieved that none of them appeared to be injured. Garrus was the first to greet the new visitors.

"How did it go, Commander?" Garrus' mandibles flared in such a way that Shepard read the turian's expression as 'confidence'.

"How do you think it went Garrus? Obviously, we are all still alive." Shepard replied weakly, appearing downtrodden as she regarded her turian crew mate.

"Well...I don't know. You all look just as bad as always." Garrus replied with a sarcastic tone in his voice.

"Way to be Captain Obvious, Garrus...or, oblivious." Ashley poked fun at the turian with a sly smile on her face.

"Oh, you're still hurt because you know I got more kills than you did!"

"Like hell! I like your idea of confiding our kills in someone else on the team. We still need to agree on who would be trustworthy enough."

"Tali isn't?"

"Nah. I know you two are like little buddies down on the lower deck."

"So, who's the better choice?"

"LT."

"Oh, so he's neutral? Come on. He'd stick up for his fellow Alliance soldier."

"Nah, LT's an honest man."

Shepard was getting more and more irritable with each word the human and turian spoke. She remained silent as Garrus addressed her again.

"The mission went well, Shepard. Better than planned. No casualties on our side!"

"Yeah, we took out the whole base! Great work, Commander." Ashley added with a broad smile upon her face.

"Yes, and even better...I believe you owe me some credits, Chief!"

"I don't think so. I..."

Finally, the Spectre snapped and barked an order that no one would dare ignore.

"Both of you just shut up!"

Both Ashley and Garrus stopped their playful teasing and looked at each other, confused. Finally, Ashley spoke up.

"What's wrong, Commander? I thought the mission was a success."

"No, it wasn't! We slaughtered the whole goddamn base! How is that a success?"

Ashley looked at Liara in an attempt to read the asari's face and potentially figure out what went wrong with the mission as Wrex interjected.

"Don't go soft on me now, Shepard."

Shepard turned to face the krogan, her eyes full of fire. The rest of the crew watched, dumbstruck. "Who's going soft?"

"You are. They deserved what they got back there. You know this. We don't have time for your doubts. You're our leader. We follow you for this reason, but now you squirm on your back like a weak little pyjack with a belly-ache."

Shepard was still conflicted about the mission and it showed. She was at peace in the moment she killed Kyle. However, seeing the dead bodies of the cultists, the people she was sworn to protect, affected her more than she could express at the moment. These feelings of frustration manifested in anger; in anger and annoyance at her squad. She quickly realized the unfairness in her reaction, and knew that the krogan was right.

"I'm...I'm sorry Ash. Sorry Garrus." She addressed both individually and sincerely. "It's been a long day. Let's just head into the Mako and get back to the ship. I'm sure we all need a well deserved rest."

Shepard moved with conviction towards the Mako as Garrus, Ashley, and Liara all exchanged looks of concern as the three of them followed Shepard to the vehicle. Wrex, following behind them all, simply brushed some dirt from his armor, nonchalantly.

* * *

Shepard awaited her guest alone in her personal quarters, fidgeting in the dark anxiously. After the Kyle mission, she had agreed to meet Liara this evening so the pair could 'talk'. She checked the time for the fifth time in the past minute. Just then, the door's chime sounded, hailing the arrival of her guest.

"It is Liara, Shepard."

"Come in, the door's open."

Liara glided into the room, wearing her standard scientist garb. She appeared calm and collected as she approached Shepard.

"Hi Liara." Shepard rose from her seat at her monitor as she greeted her visitor.

"Greetings, Shepard. How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay. Just a bit drained from the mission."

"We can talk another time if you are not well, Shepard."

"No, it's okay. This is important to you."

"Are you satisfied with what happened today?"

Shepard dropped her gaze to the floor quickly before her eyes met Liara's again.

"Yeah, it went better than expected."

Liara moved a few steps closer to Shepard.

"What are you thinking now, Shepard?"

"What should I be thinking now, Liara?"

"I am not suited to tell you that. You are the only one that knows."

"Trust me. You don't want to know about all the shit I think about."

"I do. I want to better understand who you are and what made you into the woman I see standing before myself today."

"Why?"

"You know why, Shepard. I care for you...deeply."

Liara further closed the distance between her own body and Shepard's.

Shepard panicked, "Don't…this is a mistake. It won't work out."

"What is a mistake?"

"Us. The feelings we have for one another."

"How do you know?"

"Because...I...I don't know. It's just a feeling I have. Everything always goes to hell around me."

"You still blame yourself for what happened today."

"I...do. I don't know. Like I said, it went better than expected but I still failed."

"Failed? "

"Yeah, I failed all of those people back there by having to kill them."

"They forced your hand."

"I know."

"When will you stop beating yourself up and blaming yourself for things that our outside of your control?"

"I can always do better. So, it is my fault."

"Not always. You are far from perfect. You make mistakes."

"I can't afford mistakes in my position."

Liara brought her body inches from Shepard's. She hesitated briefly, before deciding to touch the Commander's left cheek with her right hand, gently. The contact started out as just a touch before Liara began to softly caress the dark caramel colored left cheek of the Commander. Liara was surprised by her own boldness, yet she continued with the motion.

"You will always make mistakes." Liara whispered huskily as she continued to stroke the Commander's cheek. Even though the hand touching her was gloved, Shepard felt electricity from its touch race through her core. She didn't care about the conversation any more. She just wanted to feel more of Liara against her own skin but not the clothed version. She wasn't sure if these feelings were born of lust or something entirely different. Shepard simply wanted Liara; her touch, her body, her words of comfort and affection, her smiles and laughter, her very essence. She felt compelled to do something in that moment to show Liara her feelings. She was unable to speak about them.

Suddenly, Shepard decided what to do and wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her close to her own body, holding her tightly as Liara held her in return. Liara had let out a small gasp of pleasure as their bodies made contact and wrapped themselves in each other's embrace.

The two's hold on each other continued to tighten as Shepard lifted her head slightly off of Liara's shoulder in order to rub her cheek against the asari's neck and chin. The skin to skin contact was exhilarating for both and caused the pair to desperately attempt to even draw closer to the other. Unfortunately, they couldn't get any closer unless they were both nude. Even clothed, the feeling of Liara's body tightly pressed up against her own sent waves of passion and adoration through Shepard; breast to breast, stomach to stomach.

Shepard continued to rub her cheek and chin against Liara's neck and face as the asari's breathing slowed and became hot against her left ear. She wanted to believe that her actions were arousing for Liara, but she wasn't sure. Shepard didn't know enough about the asari to know what turned them on and what turned them off. Liara didn't seem to mind the contact so Shepard continued holding her tightly and nuzzled her nose softly against the asari's neck. The feeling was heavenly. Liara's skin was so smooth against her own, though, it felt different from human skin in subtle, indescribable ways.

Liara repeatedly moaned softly at the touches of the Spectre's skin against her own. These sounds of pleasure escaping from Liara's lips awoken primal feelings of lust within Shepard. She knew she had to end the physical intimacy with Liara before the pair took things further. Shepard pulled away from the embrace and slowly regained her composure, feeling self-conscious and even embarrassed by what had just happened.

Liara was flushed and appeared dazed, as if she was still caught up in Shepard's embrace. She finally spoke one breathless word, "Shepard."

"I'm sorry, Liara. I just…"

"No, don't apologize. That felt amazing. I really enjoyed being so close to you."

"Really? Yeah, I do too."

"We should wait until we take things any further, however."

"What do you mean?"

"By that I mean sharing any form of deeper physical or mental intimacy. We have the mission and you…we might not be ready for this. I want you to know that this is more than just about sex for me."

"Yeah, I figured as much," Shepard smiled warmly at Liara.

"When one of my people joins with an individual from another species, it is a very deep and spiritual exchange. We do not enter lightly into a union. A true union transcends the physical universe. "

These last few sentences caught Shepard off guard. _Union? Deep and spiritual exchange? Is Liara proposing to me now?_

Shepard stammered, "Uh...well. Wait, what are you referring to when you say 'union'? Are you saying you want kind of commitment or...marriage from me?"

"What? Oh, no...no." Liara nervously rubbed her right temple. "Uh...I must apologize. That all came out wrong. I am not asking you for any type of life long commitment or requesting that you become my bondmate. I was simply trying to explain my people's views on intimacy."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I feel like an idiot for jumping to that conclusion."

"It is fine, Shepard. The union is difficult to explain to other species. It is unlike anything they have experienced. The union is the lifeblood of the asari species; the way we asari grown and evolve as a society. That is why I have never...uh, I mean...that is why we must choose our partners with great care."

"You've never been intimate with anyone before?" Shepard wasn't really surprised by Liara's revelation.

"I am only one hundred and six; barely an adult by asari standards and I spent most of my time absorbed in my research. I never really thought about it...until I met you."

"Really? Why me?" Shepard was deeply touched that she was the first person Liara ever considered sharing herself with.

"As I mentioned before, I care about you, Shepard. You are very special to me."

"So...you want to do this 'union' thing with me?"

"I ah...well, yes...but not right now; at least not until Saren is defeated. The mission is more important than my feelings or desires."

"Would this be a one time thing or...would that mean we are 'together'?"

"Right now, it just means we care about each other enough to share in one night of complete intimacy. We would become one being, similar to the other meld we shared. However, this union will be much deeper and more intimate than that one; our essences will be completely submerged withing the others. We would share our bodies with each other as well. Uh..this heightens the experience of the melding."

Shepard wiped off some sweat that had formed on her brow as Liara continued.

"I would not expect any commitments from you after the union. We can remain only friends if that is what you desire. I just want to experience the union at least once with you, as you the person dearest to me."

"Do you want more than just a one time thing, Liara?"

"I...yes but I don't want you to feel pressured into anything more."

"Okay." Shepard smiled softly at Liara. "I do want to share this with you, Liara. Whenever you're ready. I don't want you to feel pressured either."

Liara smiled, "Thank you."

"I'm not against the idea of us being 'together' either. In theory. However, this may be difficult in the future when you leave after we stop Saren and I'm out on duty non-stop. Also, I've never had a serious relationship with anyone else before in my life. Honestly, that thought scares me."

Liara brushed a strand of hair from Shepard's face. She desperately wished she wasn't wearing gloves so she could feel the texture and consistency of Shepard's fly-away hair strand.

"As I said, I am not expecting anything. We can take this slowly; one step at a time."

Shepard smiled warmly, "Good idea."

"I will leave you now. You need your rest."

"Wait! Would you mind just, uh, staying with me tonight; just lay beside me as I fall to sleep? I just don't want to be alone right now; not after today."

"Yes, Shepard. I would be happy to. Just let me prepare myself for bed and I will join you."

"Thanks."

The two joined each other in Shepard's bed after dressing into their bed clothes. They held each other tightly, comforting each other as they both fell asleep.


	10. Chapter 9

It was finally morning according to the alarm. Shepard felt a pair of arms gently embracing her midsection as she woke from a long night's slumber. She knew Liara was the one lying behind her with her body pressed up against her back. The last thing she wanted to do was to wake the resting asari but still knew she had to get up out of bed to begin her daily duties as Commander of the _SSV Normandy_.

Shepard had to admit to herself that it felt great waking up with Liara's arms wrapped around her. Unfortunately, it needed to end. Shepard carefully picked up Liara's arm by her left wrist and lifted it up and off from around her midsection. She gently sat up on the bed and turned to face the sleeping asari. Liara was breathtaking while lost in slumber; her breathing was soft and peaceful; her face beautiful and relaxed. This sight would put the most troubled of minds at ease. It definitely did for Shepard who felt a moment of pure contentment as she gazed upon the sleeping Liara, in spite of the mounting difficulties and hardships already faced during the mission and the ones that she knew were yet to come.

Suddenly, Liara opened her bright blue eyes and looked up at the human. Shepard wondered if Liara sensed she was watching her sleep. Liara smiled as she greeted the human sitting next to her on the bed.

"How are you feeling, Shepard?"

"I actually feel pretty good for once," Shepard replied with a smile of her own. "I wish I could stay here all day...with you...but I have to get ready for work."

"I will be busy myself, studying the Prothean data you gave me yesterday."

"Ah, well. Do you plan on pouring through that data all day?"

Liara replied with a bit of a tease in her voice as she continued to lie in bed, "I was planning to, Shepard...unless you have something better in mind?"

"Well, why don't we have another movie night? I believe it was your turn to pick the movie?"

Liara sat up and smiled. "Yes, you owe me the next two movies if I recall. I will have to think of something good for tonight."

"I'm sure you will. I'll stop by your room when I'm off duty tonight and we can figure out what to do from there."

"Okay, Shepard. I ah...need to go prepare myself for the day. I should head back to my room. I..." Liara paused briefly before continuing. "...I really enjoyed spending time with you last night."

"I did too." Shepard started to feel a bit uncomfortable. She wasn't sure how to end this properly. In the past, Shepard had been dismissive to women that she had shared her bed with. However, those times had always involved sex; meaningless sex to be exact. Shepard took the easy way out and just avoided the 'goodbye' entirely. "I have to get ready too. I'll see you later, Liara."

Liara simply smiled at the Commander and left the room. She was still clothed in her night outfit, the one she wore when she slept in the sleeper pods on the _Normandy_. At this point, it finally dawned on Shepard that someone may see Liara leaving her quarters and jump to the incorrect assumption that the pair had sex last night. It was too late to do anything about that now as Liara had just left. Shepard scolded herself for not thinking of this sooner. Liara was starting to cloud her usually acute mind.

* * *

Shepard showered and dressed herself before she left the cabin and entered the mess hall. At that moment, the mess hall was empty and Shepard desperately hoped it was also empty twenty minutes ago. The scuttlebutt would be unbearable if someone spied Liara leaving her room.

Shepard forced the paranoid thoughts back deep inside her head as she made her way to the elevator. She remembered that Wrex wished to have a word with her today. Additionally, her current duty included making the daily rounds in the lower deck. Just another exciting day for the galaxy's first human Spectre.

The lower deck sounded busy with chatter as Shepard exited the elevator. She quickly located the source of the commotion. Garrus, Kaidan, and Tali were all huddled around the work station of Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams, who was quickly spied by Shepard leaning against her workbench with her arms crossed.

"That's not fair! That last kill was all mine!"

"We split that kill, Ashley. Regardless, I still won."

"You can't split a kill, Garrus! Are you sure you didn't make a mistake, LT?"

"Sorry, Ash. Garrus had one more kill than you."

Garrus' mandibles flared, "You owe me some credits, Ashley."

Shepard assumed Tali was a mere spectator as she remained quiet during the entire exchange. Shepard wondered if quarians made bets with each other; bets over who could kill more enemies in battle or if this behavior from her new comrades was completely foreign to Tali.

Shepard made her way past the crowd towards Wrex until Tali noticed her and greeted her, "Shepard...there you are. How are you feeling today?"

The others immediately halted their chatter and turned to face the Commander.

"Commander," Kaidan replied as he stood up straight and faced Shepard.

Shepard interrupted before any of the others could speak. "Carry on with whatever you were doing. I'm on my way to see Wrex. Oh, and Williams?"

"Yes, Skipper?"

"Just pay up and stop whining about losing to Garrus."

Garrus smugly twitched his mandibles as Ashley scowled at the turian; both watched Shepard as she walked away from the group.

Shepard quickly located Wrex leaning against a wall beside a row of lockers.

"Shepard."

"Wrex. You wished to talk?"

"I need to ask you a favor."

Wrex continued by telling Shepard a story from his past involving his father, Jarrod, and a 'disagreement' the two had over the future of the krogan. This disagreement resulted in the death of Jarrod by Wrex's own hands. Ultimately, Wrex desired Shepard's aid in acquiring a piece of family armor currently in the possession of the turian, Tonn Actus.

"We can go there to get the armor, Wrex, if we have time."

"Well, what else are we doing now?"

"Nothing much at the moment. Still tracking leads on Saren...damn Council's not much help."

"I hear you, Shepard. They're useless...do more damn harm then good."

"Well, they're funding this mission and we are to rely on them for intel. Anyway, I have to go check in with Engineering. So long, Wrex."

"Shepard."

* * *

Shepard relaxed in her bed for a moment after her daily duties as Commander of the _Normandy_ were completed. She had finally decided to set a course for the Pheonix cluster to help Wrex look for his armor; it's not like they had anything else to do at the moment and keeping Wrex happy was always a good thing.

Shepard felt excited and a little nervous as she sat in bed thinking about about the upcoming 'movie night' with Liara. Her stomach was acting up even though she had just ate something; or perhaps that's why it was feeling even more unsettled by the nerves. She decided to just invite Liara to her cabin to watch the film of the asari's choosing instead of meeting her first in Liara's room and was currently waiting for her to arrive. Shepard wore her standard Alliance fatigues. She was a little self conscious about dressing up _too_ much for the night. She still made sure she smelled nice, at least, she hoped she smelled nice for Liara; she didn't know what scent an asari would find attractive so went with a floral perfume and strawberry vanilla shampoo. Shepard still had no idea what was going on between Liara and herself but she knew that whatever it was felt great and it brought her a gentle wave of happiness on which she could ride through the sea of misery she usually felt lost in.

The door's entrance finally chimed, signaling Liara's timely arrival. Shepard allowed the asari passage into her cabin, smiling as Liara entered.

"So, what are we watching, Liara?" Shepard said, getting right down to business.

"I have a human film, actually. I watched this a few years ago. I considered bringing an asari film, but those tend to be long and a bit convoluted for non-asari." Liara smiled, "I also have plenty of documentaries on the Protheans but I doubt you would wish to sit through one of those."

Shepard smiled, "What film is that?"

"The film is called, 'Occam's Razor', a murder mystery. I believe it was released only two years ago."

"I've never seen it. I did hear it was pretty good. I honestly don't take much time to watch movies anymore."

"I am glad you are taking the time now to watch some with me, Shepard."

"So am I, Liara," Shepard smiled at the asari. Shepard motioned Liara over to the chairs she had set up for the night's event. Liara handed Shepard the holo-disc that contained the movie before taking a seat on one of the chairs. Shepard loaded the movie onto her computer and took the seat to the left of Liara's. She pushed a few buttons on her omni-tool and the movie began to play.

The movie was your typical 'whodunit' murder mystery that followed a Los Angeles detective named Sierra Menendez as she tried to solve a string of murders that were taking place within her district. Portions of the film reminded Shepard a bit of her own youth, though, she was always on a different side of the law from Detective Menendez. Shepard still enjoyed the movie. It was very suspenseful with excellent acting and included a surprise twist that caught her off guard at the end.

The movie ended too soon for Shepard. She desperately wanted Liara to stay longer and just talk about...anything. She didn't know where to begin but luckily Liara started talking.

"Did you enjoy the movie, Shepard?"

"Very much so, Liara. The ending was a bit of a shocker...wow."

"Indeed, it was. I was even surprised by it the first time I saw this film."

"It was much better than my zombie movie."

Liara laughed, "Well, that is hardly a difficult accomplishment."

"You really hated that movie, didn't you Liara?"

"No offense to you but...yes."

Shepard laughed softly. She realized she didn't know too much about Liara personally, except that she hated gory horror flicks with zombies but liked murder mysteries.

"Tell me something about yourself, Liara; something I don't already know."

"You already know everything there is to know about me."

"I doubt it. You've been alive for over a century and...wait, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be prying."

"Oh, no. I don't mind you asking. I am just not very interesting as I mentioned to you before."

"You don't have any wild stories from your youth where you and a bunch of your friends got into trouble?"

"No, nothing like that. I never had any friends growing up, to be honest."

"Oh, sorry Liara, I didn't mean..."

"It comes from being the daughter of a powerful and influential matriarch plus...being a pureblood. Well, it was especially the fact that I am pureblood."

"I didn't realize the stigma against that was so bad."

"It is, actually. Many asari forbid their daughters from ever befriending a pureblood asari...not that these young asari would even want to in the first place after hearing all the awful things said about purebloods from other asari; for instance, from their mothers, from other relatives, and from various media sources."

"I'm so sorry. I...I didn't realize this was so awful for you. I know we humans do things like this to others but..."

"...but you never expected the asari to do this as well. Don't worry about me, Shepard. I lived with this my entire life and it no longer troubles me."

"But, it did trouble you when you were young?"

"Yes it did, as a child of course, but I have learned to live with it."

"I admire your attitude and your resolve in getting past that, Liara."

"Thank you, Shepard," Liara said with a smile. "So, now you know why my childhood was quite uneventful. I spent most of my time in my room reading anything I could get my hands on. I especially loved reading about history and, of course, the Protheans. I found them remarkable and fascinating ever since I began reading about their history in my youth. What I found really compelling was...wait, I need to stop before I bore you with stories about how I read books as a child."

"No, it's not boring. You can continue, Liara. Your youth actually sounds...peaceful." _ Much unlike my own_, Shepard thought to herself.

"Thank you, but you do not have to lie. I know it is very uninteresting." Liara smiled and turned towards the left in her chair to face Shepard. She gently reached for Shepard's right hand with her left one and the two hands softly clasped together. "But I appreciate you listening nonetheless."

Liara inched closer to Shepard. "Perhaps someday I will think of something more interesting to share with you, Shepard."

Shepard's heart began to flutter and her pulse raced frantically as Liara drew nearer to her, their hands still locked together.

"I would like that, Liara," she whispered, barely audible, though Liara could still hear it since she was getting even closer to the Commander.

Liara's face was now inches away from Shepard's. The Spectre gazed longingly into the tranquil pools of cerulean that stared back into her own eyes. Everything was still for a moment while the asari and human stared tenderly into each others eyes. Without a word spoken, Liara lifted her right hand to Shepard's chin and lightly cupped it on the right side of the Spectre's face. Carefully, Liara moved her head closer to Shepard's. Shepard couldn't move. She felt completely weak in all of her joints. Her core was suddenly made of lead.

Finally, Liara's soft lips tenderly brushed Shepard's. The Commander's lips were stuck in place as Liara planted the feather soft kiss on them. The kiss seemed to end before it began and Shepard was left wanting more as Liara quickly pulled away.

"I...I am sorry, Shepard. If I was out of line..."

Shepard finally found her breath again. She was amazed that such a fleeting and gentle kiss could suck it all out of her so easily. "No, you weren't out of line."

"Still, I need to control myself."

Shepard desperately wished Liara _wouldn't_ control herself and wanted to tell her so but instead replied, "It's okay, but we can take things slow if you want...like we discussed before."

"Yes, we should. I am sorry."

Shepard smiled, "Don't apologize...it was the moment."

"The moment? We need to be wary of these 'moments' then Shepard," Liara said as she smiled.

Shepard nodded wordlessly as Liara continued, "Thank you for inviting me, Shepard. I greatly enjoyed your company tonight. I must make my leave as it is getting late. We shall do this again sometime...avoiding any more potential moments, of course."

Shepard laughed, "Okay, that sounds like a good plan."

* * *

**Author's Note: **This chapter is a bit shorter than usual. I wanted to make something a bit 'fluffier' before going into Virmire (which will be starting in the next chapter) and then Noveria and the end game run shortly after that.


	11. Chapter 10

_We are not a mistake!_

_Really? Saren created a cure for my people; you want to destroy it. Help me out here, Shepard. The lines between friend and foe are getting a little blurry from where I stand._

_That's a chance we should be willing to take. This is the fate of my entire people we're talking about! I've been loyal to you so far...hell, you did more for me than my family ever did. But if I'm going to keep following you, I need to know we're doing it for the right reasons._

_A shotgun flashed in front of Shepard's vision; pointed at her by Wrex. _

Shepard abruptly opened her eyes. She was lying in her bed exhausted, but sleep escaped her grasp. The attempt at rest was futile. She turned over onto her left side and sighed mournfully. She couldn't force memories of the day's mission on Virmire out of her mind: the ethics of the krogan genophage, the Reapers.

_The beacon. The visions. The Reaper._

_Confidence born of ignorance. The cycle cannot be broken._

_Your civilization is based on the technology of the mass relays; our technology. By using it, your society develops along the paths we desire. We impose order on the chaos of organic evolution. You exist because we allow it and you will end because we demand it._

_We have no beginning. We have no end. We are infinite. Millions of years after your civilization has been eradicated and forgotten, we will endure._

_We are legion. The time of our return is coming. Our numbers will darken the sky of every world. You cannot escape your doom._

The Reapers. She finally met one. Oddly, they became real to her at that moment; more than just a vision they were now a manifestation in reality; a concrete enemy that had to be destroyed.

They were real as was the threat to all existence.

_Kaidan._

_Kaidan. _

Kaidan wasn't real anymore. Kaidan was a ghost left to haunt Virmire.

Her eyes burned of unshed tears. She couldn't save him.

The chime on the door rang, signaling that a guest had arrived. It was probably Liara. Earlier, Shepard had dismissed the asari's attempts at comfort and now she assumed Liara was going to make another try.

Shepard was prepared to dismiss her again. She needed to keep her own thoughts company and couldn't spare the time for another living being. She hit the comm button.

"Shepard here."

"Commander. Shepard, I need...I need to speak with you."

The voice... it didn't come from Liara but from Ashley. The young Gunnery Chief was standing outside her door and she sounded distraught; not surprising with what had happened earlier on Virmire and in the briefing room.

"Ash, what are you doing here?"

"I just...I just need to apologize."

"Come in."

Shepard hit the switch to allow the young officer passage into her quarters. The door swung open and Shepard was met with a silhouette of a young human woman in the light of the doorway; a shadow of a once proud soldier slouched over due to sadness and guilt. The shadowy silhouette slowly walked into the room and materialized into a three-dimensional being that suddenly gained color and form. It was Ash. The whites of her eyes were stained red.

"Why do you need to apologize, Ash?"

"Earlier I shouldn't have...I shouldn't have snapped at you like that."

"Don't worry about it. Emotions were high after the last mission."

"I know, but..."

A heavy sigh escaped from the Gunnery Chief's mouth as she sat down at the table in Shepard's room and rested her head in her hands. Shepard followed suit and sat down at the table with Ashley.

"Do you want to talk about what happened today, Chief?"

"No...maybe." Ashley looked up and her eyes glistened with the tears suspended in her eyes. "I just wanted to apologize but now...I just can't believe he's gone, Commander. It should have been me. I was ready to die back there…"

"I wanted to save both of you, Ash. I really did," Shepard replied; firm yet gentle with her speech. "I decided to continue on up to the AA tower in order to grab you and the salarian team first. If Saren wouldn't have shown up, things would be different."

"That damn turian bastard!" Ashley spat out with quiet anger. "What the hell was he doing with all those krogan anyway?"

"He's building an army for when the Reapers invade. That's probably why he was studying the effects of Indoctrination as well. He could use that to build an army of mindless slaves to the Reapers."

"This is all just so fucked up. Why is Saren doing this? Why does he want to kill us all?"

"It seems he believes the opposite; that he is saving us."

Ashley sighed. "Yeah, but he didn't save Kaidan…"

"I know, Ash."

"I'm just angry and…I'm scared. Who's going to die next? I don't mind if it's me but I don't know if I could handle losing another friend on this team."

"I fear the same, Ash. We're all here because we are willing to risk our lives to stop Saren. Anyone of us could make the ultimate sacrifice at any time. It hurts just thinking about losing another person after Kaidan."

"I just can't believe the LT is gone. Just yesterday we were joking together on the lower deck about Garrus."

"What did Garrus do this time?"

"Nothing really…he's just completely dense sometimes. He doesn't think Liara…er…I think I'll stop there."

"Why? Does this involve me as well?"

"Maybe." Ashley hesitated for a brief moment out of slight embarrassment before continuing. "He doesn't think Liara has the hots for you and she sees you as nothing more than a walking-talking Prothean beacon. I told the LT this and that I'd met Alliance VIs that had better people skills than Garrus. We had a good laugh over this." Ashley allowed a small, sad smile to form on her lips as she recalled one of her last memories of Kaidan.

Shepard was just glad to see Ashley smile again. "Yeah, Garrus is dense sometimes."

All of a sudden, Ashley looked worried. "Oh shit…sorry for gossiping about Liara and…"

"It's okay, don't worry about it. I think we have bigger things to be worried about; much more than my semi-obvious, semi-secret, passionate love affair with the Prothean doctor."

"I think it's more semi-obvious than semi-secret…well, unless you're a dunce like Garrus. Hell, even Tali knows that there's something between you two."

"Of course she does." Shepard rubbed the back of her neck with her left hand.

"I'm going to leave you alone, Skipper. I feel a bit better…just talking. It helps. I know Kaidan's in a better place now but I'm still going to miss him."

"So will I, Ash."

"I just pray we don't lose anyone else. I couldn't imagine what would happen if you were to…we would be screwed." Ashley stood up from the table and Shepard followed her lead. Ashley continued with a melancholic look. "I think Liara would be devastated."

"I know, but I'll do what I have to.

"I'll see you later and thanks." Ashley gave Shepard a quick hug before she turned and left the room. The Commander was alone with her own thoughts again.

_I think Liara would be devastated._

This is what Shepard was most afraid of; how the death of either herself or Liara would affect the survivor. Losing Kaidan on Virmire hurt her deeply and she couldn't imagine how she would feel if it had been Liara instead. Shepard knew she would become a different person if she lost Liara. She would lose hope in her own future; descend into darkness and become once again the shell of a woman she was on Torfan. It would break her. After many years of remaking herself into a better person, the death of one person would erase it all and she knew it. What she didn't know was what she could do about it, besides stop caring for Liara.

* * *

_I don't really want to talk about it now, Liara. I just don't._

These were the words Shepard spoke earlier to Liara and they echoed around in her head as she left her cabin. Since speaking with Ashley, she regretted her earlier dismissal of Liara and feared she was cruel to the asari though it wasn't intentional.

Shepard approached the med bay with the intentions of apologizing to Liara. She entered.

"Liara?" She was relieved to see the asari awake and sitting at her computer. Liara stood up from her desk as soon as she heard her name spoken by the familiar voice she loved to hear.

"Shepard. How are you feeling? I must apologize for..."

"No, I'm fine Liara. You don't need to apologize for being concerned about me I was just...tired after the last mission."

"I see. How are you doing? If you would like to talk about Kaidan then I am here for you."

"There's really nothing to discuss. He's gone and that sucks."

"Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"

"Just being here for me makes me feel a whole lot better, Liara. Thank you."

"Well...I am here if you ever need anything. You only have to ask."

"Thanks, I just..." Shepard began to choke up and stumble on her words.

Liara quickly approached Shepard and embraced her in a warm, comforting hug. She whispered into the Commander's ear, "What is it that upsets you?"

"Everything," Shepard whispered back weakly, desperately trying to hold back the flow of tears. "Everything that's happening. Kaidan, Saren, the Reapers. I feel lost."

Liara continued to hold the weary Spectre and speak softly to her. "Why do you feel lost?"

Shepard ended the embrace by pulling back from Liara, stunning the asari slightly in the process. Shepard appeared tense. "What are we going to do, Liara? You were there. You heard Sovereign. How the hell are we going to stop an invasion of a race of machines that have wiped out every other civilization that has ever walked in this galaxy? It all hinges on this 'Conduit' that we know exists. We even know what planet the damn thing is on but we can't reach it. You said it yourself...it would take us years and years to find the relay."

"Yes, we need to discover the lost coordinates for the Mu Relay if we ever plan on reaching Ilos and the Conduit. I hope that Saren is running into the same difficulties as we are."

"Saren has an entire geth army and who knows what else out there scouring the galaxy looking for it. It may take some time but he will find it before we do."

"It still won't be that easy. The odds of finding it via a blind search are extremely low. We have as much of a chance as he does."

"Yeah, but I have a feeling he's going to come across the exact coordinates and then we are all screwed. In the mean time, what am I supposed to do? Begin a blind search for this relay?" Shepard sighed and rubbed her temple. The mere act of thinking about the current mess gave her a headache.

"No, that is hardly a wise option."

"Then what am I supposed to do?"

"We must continue tracking down Saren in hopes of stopping him from discovering the location of the Mu Relay. I doubt he has discovered yet and is now devoting all of his resources into finding it. We follow him, and if he discovers it, we will know as well as he where it is located."

Shepard looked up. Liara had a point. "You're right. You're right. We just keep hunting him and hope he slips up somewhere and he leads us to the Conduit." Shepard smiled. "The voice of reason. I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here, Liara."

"Without your current grief, I am sure you would have come to the same conclusion eventually."

"Do you not feel grief over what happened today?"

"No, I do. I do grieve immensely for the loss of someone as brave and honorable as Lieutenant Alenko. I suppose I just handle it differently from you. However, it is not a weakness on your part."

"It feels like one."

Liara frowned and her eyes grew sad. "Don't say that. You care about your squad. Considering what happened on Torfan, I can understand why Kaidan's death would affect you so deeply. There is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, I find this...I find that it draws me even closer to you."

Without hesitation, Liara tenderly grabbed Shepard's shoulder. She proceeded to move her hand slowly off of her shoulder and down over the Commander's bicep, stopping when she reached the arm's exposed skin below the Commander's shirt. She gently caressed the bicep with her gloved hand. Liara looked deeply into Shepard's eyes in such a way that was meant to wrap them up in a comforting embrace.

"For what it is worth, I believe in you, Shepard. I believe you will find a way to stop Saren."

Shepard replied, breathlessly. "It's worth a lot, Liara." Shepard finally found her full voice. "Again, I'm glad you are here for me."

"I will always be here if you need me."

Time to be uncomfortable. Shepard didn't quite know what to do in this moment. _Why does Liara make me feel so weak and foolish?_

"I...ah...I know. Thank you." _Real smooth._

Shepard quickly pulled away from Liara's hand; the one that had been stroking her arm. "I should go."

"Wait. I wanted to ask you something first...if you don't mind."

Shepard stopped her current path towards the door. "Sure, what's on your mind."

"I have...noticed that you do not use your biotics often out in the field even though you do possess biotic abilities. I just wonder why this is the case, Shepard?"

Shepard paused. The question came out of nowhere. She knew that Liara would eventually ask this, but didn't expect it now.

"It's just tied in with a bad part of my life. The only reason I'm in the Alliance now is due to having biotic aptitude, though it's weaker than most other human biotics. Weaker than Kaidan...was."

"I see. Do you want to talk about it?"

Shepard studied her hands for a moment before continuing, "I...I got in trouble with the law when I was seventeen and the authorities that apprehended me ran a test for biotic potential along with the standard physical. I was discovered to have it and was given an ultimatum: go to prison or join the Alliance."

"Correct me if I am out of line for saying this but isn't that a good thing?"

"I don't know. I never thought it was. The Alliance has always felt like another prison to me...possibly worse than what I would have suffered at the hands of the law."

"You never wanted to become a soldier?"

"No, I hated the idea but I had little choice in the matter. They didn't even ask me. I was ferreted off to an Alliance training facility in handcuffs. I resisted my conscription at first but they were lenient with me. They would never give up on a human that showed the potential to use biotics as a weapon. I just wanted to leave but...that was never an option. Instead, I decided to use the situation to my own advantage and took some courses in medicine and computer science and anything else I could wrap my mind around. I focused more on this stuff than my biotics. I was always apt at learning new things, so it was quite easy. Still, they used me and my technical knowledge as nothing more than a weapon. I didn't mind at the time...at least it was partially my own choice."

Liara tilted her head with a look of sympathy. "If you could choose, what would you rather be doing with your life, Shepard?"

"I don't know. I always loved cooking and preparing meals for others. A chef, perhaps? Something not as destructive." Shepard added with a grin, "Well...it's usually not as destructive."

"I don't see you as destructive, Shepard."

"Well, I was. You know enough about Torfan."

"Yes. You did what you had to do then."

"I could have done better. I should have done better."

"I just wish that you would stop beating yourself up over your past. You are a different person now. You are now a person that warrants admiration. Just look at what you were able to accomplish so far on this mission!"

Shepard smirked and decided to continue with some humor to move the conversation away from the serious, "Yeah, but I would rather have been a cook. I should make you something someday, unless you prefer to prepare your own meals."

Liara was slightly annoyed that Shepard steered the conversation away from her past, but she was used to it by now and 'took the bait'. "I am accustomed to eating processed foods. I have usually failed miserably at preparing my own food. I tend to burn at least part of the meal."

"Why do you tend to burn things?"

"Well, if I were to propose a theory...possibly due to the excessive application of heat."

Shepard couldn't help but laugh heartily, "Yeah, makes sense. I should teach you some tricks some day."

"I would like that," Liara added with a hopeful smile.

"Okay then, cooking lessons will begin as soon as we save the galaxy from certain doom involving an invading race of sentient AI starships hellbent on the destruction of all organic life."

* * *

_Port Hanshan, Noveria_

"That will not be a problem, your excellency. We will secure safe transportation for your cargo to the Peak 15 facility."

_Another groveling fool concerned with nothing save his own hide. The influence of a Matriarch knew no bounds._

"I thank you, Administrator. I hope you can ensure me that my business at the Binary Helix research facility will go undisturbed?"

"Yes, of course, Mistress."

The aged but beautiful Matriarch motioned for her Commando unit to follow her from the salarian overseer's office. The asari warriors' steps looked clumsy and awkward in comparison to the graceful and elegant stride of the Matriarch. The troop exited the office, paying no mind to the human female administrative assistant that greeted them just minutes earlier.

"I hope you enjoy your stay on Noveria, Matriarch."

These words and their speaker were ignored by the party as they exited.

The group entered the main plaza, destined for the garage. A shuttle had already been prepared to transport them to the research facility at Peak 15. Their entrance into the main hub hardly went unnoticed; the sudden appearance of an Asari Matriarch and her squad of Commandos caused quite the stir amongst the regulars that frequented Port Hanshan. The Commandos were a sight to see in themselves, but no one could take their eyes off of their leader. She mesmerized the crowd without effort. _Why would such a revered and even mystical figure travel to such an off-beat colony world?_

The sight was breathtaking. Everyone in the plaza just wanted to reach out and touch her just to say they were once close to such a wondrous and mysterious figure. Dressed in the finest robes tailored by the most skilled asari craftswomen, walking with a gait suited only for royalty, exuding confidence born of status, the Matriarch glided through the plaza oblivious to all around her. She had a mission. Saren needed something and it would be discovered here on this frozen world.


	12. Chapter 11

**Author's Note**: I'm breaking the number one rule of Mass Effect in this chapter: Shepard can only ever take two squad mates on a mission. She will take three to Noveria! Oh noes! I also jump around a bit at the beginning to cover some of the happenings on Noveria, without going into too much detail, though.

* * *

_Noveria_: the planet that held many secrets trapped in its icy clutches; but only one interested Commander Rachel Shepard. The Alliance sent Shepard news of geth activity in the system and she rushed off immediately to discover that Saren's partner in crime, Matriarch Benezia, had arrived at the Port Hanshan facility a few days earlier. This created more questions and mysteries than it answered. Why was the Matriarch on Noveria? Why were all these geth reported to be active in the region now gone missing? Why didn't Saren accompany Benezia? Why...

"Why are you such a pain in the ass?" Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams sounded frustrated, raising an eyebrow as she queried the overlarge krogan Battlemaster, Urdnot Wrex.

"We all don't have to go into the bar to hunt some damn turian," Wrex replied.

"Why do you want _me_ to stay with you though?"

"You want me to get lonely out here, Williams?"

"Just stay out here with Wrex, Chief…make sure he behaves himself. We'll be back in a few moments," Shepard ordered the younger woman, who then proceeded to scowl slightly but remained silent. She then motioned for Liara to follow her into the large and crowded Noveria drinking establishment. Shepard was curious why Wrex insisted that Ashley keep him company, however, she didn't give it too much thought and opened the door to begin her hunt for Lorik Qui'in.

"So, what's this about, Wrex?" Ashley asked the krogan as soon as the Commander and Liara had left earshot. She correctly sensed that the centuries old krogan desired more than simple company from her.

"I wanted to talk to you about the asari. I'm letting you know that I don't trust T'Soni."

"You don't? Why not?" The answer was obvious but Ashley couldn't stop the question from forming on her lips.

"No. I have a feeling you don't either. It's easy for her to tell us now how committed she is to stopping her mother. Let's see how that holds up when we finally face the bitch."

Ashley didn't want to admit it to herself, but she knew Wrex's concerns about Liara were legitimate. "Well, Shepard trusts her."

"Shepard's a fool then."

_No, Shepard's just been bitten in the ass by a love bug and is smitten with Liara_, Ashley thought to herself. _Not very reassuring . . . Wrex doesn't have to know this._

"I trust Shepard and her judgment . . . so I also trust Liara."

Wrex looked disdainful. "I don't believe it, but whatever Williams. I'm going to watch her every move…no matter what you and Shepard do in the meantime. If Shepard wasn't acting like a vorcha in heat around that damned asari she would be doing the same as I."

"What?"

"You heard me, Williams."

_Oh dear lord._ Ashley suddenly felt a strange sense of foreboding; like witnessing a group of dark and ominous rainclouds slowly creep into view over the horizon. She knew this mission wasn't going to end well. A thunderstorm approached and nothing could stand in its way. Ashley didn't think she could handle another Virmire and if Liara did end up turning against them in order to save her own mother…

_Shepard couldn't pull the trigger if it was necessary to kill Liara. I'd have to do it . . . or Wrex. He wouldn't mind. Wrex…he's just watching out for his own ass. Liara will stay true to her promise . . ._

Ashley _did_ trust Liara . . . mostly . . . so much could still go wrong. She didn't want to think about how she'd feel if it was her own mother instead of Liara's that they were hunting down.

The pair remained outside the bar until Shepard and Liara joined them, the former looking triumphant. They had a new quest that would bring them one step closer to the secrets hidden in the mountains of Noveria: stop Anoleis' goons from ransacking Qui'in's office and receive the coveted Port Hanshan garage pass in return.

* * *

Shepard failed to read Liara no matter how earnestly she attempted the task. The asari's face was expressionless ever since hearing the news that she and her estranged mother were on the same planet after all this time having spent light-years apart, now merely miles away from each other. Shepard tried to place herself in Liara's shoes and believed she was most likely feeling confused and hurt; fearful of what her mother had become; fearful that her mother wouldn't listen to reason and had been lost to Saren's Indoctrination. Regardless, she still trusted Liara absolutely. She sensed that the others, Wrex and Ashley, did not . . . especially Wrex. They didn't know Liara like she did. They never melded with her and they never spent any significant time with Liara outside of combat or other duties. Shepard hoped that Wrex would keep his cool in the inevitable confrontation with Benezia. She slightly regretted bringing the krogan but knew she needed his combat prowess and biotics in the showdown with the Matriarch.

"That asari bitch brought a whole army of geth in those damned crates," Wrex growled in his angry, disapproving voice as the four of them finished dispatching the last of the geth that had ambushed them in the Port Hanshan garage.

Liara's face and body language betrayed no emotion as Wrex referred to her mother as a 'bitch' for the third time since the party arrived on Noveria. Shepard wondered if Liara's translator took the original krogan vulgarity and turned it into something less offensive in the asari language. Perhaps her own translation from krogan to the human tongue was faulty? Perhaps Wrex's attitude toward Benezia simply didn't faze Liara? If that was the case, Shepard greatly admired Liara's restraint; if it were her, she would have probably felt the uncontrollable urge to put a boot in his big fat, reptilian mouth.

Regardless, the comment still angered Shepard enough to scold the krogan.

"How 'bout you stop it with the name calling, Wrex?" She barked at the krogan.

"What do you mean, Shepard?"

"Don't play innocent and naïve with me, Wrex."

"I have no respect for one of Saren's lackeys, so I'll call her whatever I want to."

"Yeah, but she's also Liara's mother."

Wrex scoffed. "I know. What I don't understand is why the hell she's coming with us when she'll probably stab you in the back later?"

"I really appreciate your consideration for my feelings, Shepard," Liara jumped in politely before Shepard could answer Wrex, "however, now is not the time to worry about them."

Too much was happening at once. Shepard felt the need to address both Wrex and Liara, but didn't know where to start. Her brain spun in circles.

"Liara, this is . . . this is your mother we're talking about. I _am_ concerned for your feelings right now. We're leaving the garage in a matter of minutes. If you'd rather stay here and wait for us to return from Peak 15, I'd understand. I just want you to know that I say this out of compassion and not because I don't trust you."

"I want to face my mother, Shepard," Liara replied, succinctly, betraying no emotion.

"Okay." Shepard replied almost breathlessly . . . that was not the answer she wanted to hear from her. She hated the prospect of killing Benezia in front of Liara and certainly that outcome seemed most likely. Shepard turned on her 'fiery disposition' as she turned to the krogan.

"Listen up, Wrex. I'm in charge of this mission and I decide who goes where and who does what and who isn't allowed to say this or that. Liara is coming with us and you will lay off the insults. Got it?"

Wrex nodded. "All right, Shepard." Recently, Shepard noticed that Wrex treated her command with a bit more respect than usual, ever since helping him find his family armor and with what happened on Virmire.

"Do you have any concerns, Williams?"

"No, Skipper. I'll prep the Mako for our departure."

Ashley lied. She had plenty of concerns.

* * *

Chaos descended upon the four warriors after they dispatched a handful of geth troopers they found in Peak 15's cafeteria; chaos drenched with green spittle. Shepard heard Ashley's typical monologue of profanities as the Gunnery Chief fired her assault rifle at one of the large scorpion-like creatures responsible for the green spittle projectiles. Wrex also cursed out while introducing one of the creatures to his shotgun; his profane words spoken with the krogan tongue, using some curse-words that lacked a proper translation into Alliance Standard. Liara remained silent as she skillfully restrained the creatures with her biotics, allowing the others to cut them down with their gun. Shepard would have found the scene amusing if she herself wasn't desperately trying to avoid getting close to one of these creatures. The sharp pincers at the end of their many "legs" didn't look inviting. Shepard fired on the last remaining creature with her pistol and it dropped to the floor, motionless.

"Okay, what the fuck were those things?" Shepard cried out, asking everyone and no one in particular.

Ashley removed her green spit covered helmet and approached the Commander, "Damned if I know."

Shepard looked expectantly at Liara. _She knows damned near everything_, Shepard thought.

"Sorry, Shepard. Xenobiology is not my field."

"They're rachni," Wrex spoke as he kicked the dead body of the last creature Shepard killed.

"Rachni? That's preposterous! The rachni are . . . extinct."

"I know all about that, T'Soni, but I'm saying these things look and act a hell of a lot like them."

"They can't be actual rachni. They must be a closely related species. Unless, they weren't all wiped out by the krogan . . . Saren or Benezia must have somehow found the remainders of their species, _if_ either of those two are even responsible for this. That's kind of crazy, though."

"Crazier shit has happened in recent months, Skipper."

"I know. That's why it wouldn't surprise me if these things do turn out to be rachni."

"Your mother has a lot of explaining to do, asari."

Liara didn't acknowledge Wrex's comment directed at her. She was lost in her own thoughts, staring blankly at the body of the nearest creature. Shepard still couldn't read her.

* * *

"The Spectre and her party have arrived at Rift Station, Lady Benezia," Captain Ventralis' face appeared concerned as he spoke to the Matriarch over a comm-terminal located in her office. Upon arriving at the Binary Helix research labs, Benezia set up her own private area of the facility as an 'office'. She needed her peace and privacy after the countless attempts to complete the grueling task Saren delegated off to her.

"Lead them to the hot labs. The rachni will finish them. Inform Shepard that I ventured to the labs a few days ago and you have not heard from me since."

"Yes, ma'am."

The comm-link ended and Benezia turned and spoke, "Humans possess such odd mannerisms," the off-hand comment seemed to be directed at the other occupant in the office, a young asari Commado dressed in pure black leather armor. "I want you to go to Rift Station and make sure Ventralis obeys my command, and if he does not, I want you to ensure that the order is executed . . . properly."

"I will, my Lady." The Commando hesitated before continuing, "What should be done about your daught . . ."

"She deserves the same fate as the human she has allied herself with." Benezia spoke these words harshly.

"Forgive me, my Lady, but . . . perhaps she can be reasoned with or . . ."

"No, that is not an option. Do as I command, Alestia," Benezia ordered sternly with a sense of finality in her voice.

The young Commando left the office without a further word. Benezia slowly sat down on the large, plush sofa in her office. Her attempts at mentally extracting the location of the Mu Relay from the Rachni Queen's mind always proved exhausting. Her body desperately needed and desired rest but Saren was very angry with her; he needed those coordinates a week ago. After Virmire, the rogue Spectre agent's patience grew shorter. The Matriarch continued to sit on the sofa, her head resting in her hands. She didn't want to face the queen and her impenetrable mind again.

More-so, Benezia loathed the idea of facing her daughter. This choice was not hers. She could feel Saren in her mind even though his hold had weakened in recent hours. This was not what Benezia desired; it was the absolute worst thing that could have happened to her with Liara and Shepard approaching. She wanted Saren to take complete control. She wanted every part of her that was still 'Benezia' to be gone. She didn't want to feel love for Liara while also killing her for Saren. She didn't want to see it; she didn't want to sit trapped within her own mind and watch helplessly as her body killed her only daughter.

Benezia wished Saren would fully take over so she could disappear for Liara's death.

* * *

Shepard's heart raced as adrenaline coursed wildly through her veins. The young asari revealed her true intentions.

"You're a sleeper agent for Benezia!"

"So very astute." Alestia remarked sardonically, before motioning towards the geth accompanying her person, "Kill them."

The ensuing battle was short and brutal. Shepard, Liara, Wrex, and Ashley successfully defeated the two asari and two geth that had ambushed them in one of the research labs. The fight was tough in such a small space, especially with the abundant use of botics. No one left the battle unscathed or without taking a bit of a beating. The Noveria mission thus far proved grueling, but it was far from over.

The squad hurried out of the lab and into the plaza, searching for more geth and some answers. The volus that earlier confirmed the presence of the rachni on Noveria, Han Olar, informed Shepard that the asari and geth entered the plaza through doors that led to a restricted area of the lab. Shepard had a feeling Benezia was to be found there. The Spectre decided to postpone their investigation of the hot labs to check out this restricted area instead. After gaining access to this area from the facility's lead scientist, Dr. Cohen, the squad again traveled down to the lower plaza and onward to face destiny.

Shepard paused before the doors to the restricted area and turned to face Liara. Before she could speak, Liara raised her hands to stop her.

"I know what you are going to say, Shepard. I still want to do this. It has to be done. I . . . we have no other option."

"Okay, Liara," Shepard turned to the others, "If the Matriarch is back there somewhere, we're not gonna fire on her until we give Liara a chance to speak with her."

"Aye, aye, Ma'am," Ashley replied, nodding her head.

"I'll be ready for what needs to be done," Wrex said with a matter-of-fact tone as he adjusted a piece on his shotgun.

Shepard waved the security pass in front of the door's sensors and the crew was free to enter the restricted lab section. They entered silently.

"Excellent. The Conduit will be ours soon enough." Saren was beyond pleased with Benezia's latest update. She had finally extracted the coordinates for the Mu Relay from the mind of the Rachni Queen. "I have one last task for you: kill Shepard. Whatever else happens, she cannot learn the location of the relay."

"Yes, Saren," Benezia agreed, weakly.

"I doubt we will ever speak again. Sovereign will need me as a general for when the Reapers arrive."

There was a brief flicker before Saren finally disappeared from Benezia's comm-terminal, preventing her from replying. She knew Saren had just discarded her. He didn't need her anymore. Anger seethed through the body of the proud and once noble Matriarch until a sharp pain crushed that rebellious feeling and forced her to her knees. She wanted to fight the Indoctrination, spare her daughter, and aid Commander Shepard. She wanted to spite that bastard, Saren. Resistance proved futile.

A young Commando entered the office, "My Lady, the Spectre and her team are approaching the lab."

The young asari disciple didn't draw attention to Benezia's almost prone position. She and the others were accustomed to seeing their mistress suffering from extreme physical exhaustion on a daily basis as one of the effects of Indoctrination.

Benezia immediately sprung up from her kneeling position like a puppet on a string. Without a word, she left her office and headed for the main lab. Her disciple followed closely behind.

* * *

Shepard stopped as soon as she noticed a tall, still figure standing atop a platform next to a very large tank. The lab was dark, except for a few dim lights around its periphery and Shepard had a difficult time discerning the figure's identity. The figure appeared dressed in a long gown and an elegant headdress, judging from its silhouette. Regardless of the shadows adorning the figure, Shepard knew who it was.

The figure remained still as the squad approached cautiously. She seemed to ignore them . . . or perhaps didn't notice them yet? They continued to creep ever closer to the figure, guns at the ready and trained on her, in case of any sudden and hostile movements.

The Gunnery Chief finally broke the silence.

"Is that . . . ?" She whispered as quietly as possible to Shepard.

"Yeah, she's the bitch that's been trying to kill us since we got here," Wrex wasn't trying to be silent. He projected his comment so the Matriarch would hear it, his voice booming. It was apparent that the krogan was tired of playing games and wanted a fight; typical Wrex behavior.

Shepard ignored those two and instead glanced at Liara. Her eyes were fixed on her mother; her face . . . beautiful but expressionless.

Finally, the Matriarch spoke, "You do not know the privilege of being a mother. Her children were to be ours."

Benezia turned and made eye contact with Shepard. Her eyes avoided the others, including Liara. "This will end poorly for you, Shepard. Saren cannot be stopped. Your actions here on Noveria have been in vain."

"I don't think so, Benezia. You can still help us. If not for me at least consider it . . . at least for Liara's sake."

"You think to move me by bringing my own daughter to this confrontation? You are a fool . . ."

"I didn't force Liara to come here with me. She's here because she wanted to see you."

"Does she now?" Benezia turned to her daughter, face to face for the first time in years. ". . . and what have you told them about me, Liara?"

"What could I say, mother? That you're insane? Evil? I don't know who you are anymore. I don't know why you are doing this. What could I say?" Liara's speech finally betrayed her feelings. Her voice sounded slightly higher than usual and broken up over a few words. Shepard could now see the pain on Liara's face that reflected the feelings she had been repressing all this time. She knew Liara would eventually lose her stoic demeanor when face to face with her mother, but still admired Liara's courage for making it this far.

"I am simply doing what is necessary," Benezia replied, practically ignoring Liara's emotional pleas as she motioned towards the large tank in the center of the lab. Upon closer inspection, Shepard discovered that the tank held a very large rachni. She had almost forgotten about the plague of rachni infesting the station.

"The rachni? What do you need them for?" Shepard queried the Matriarch, lowering her pistol slightly.

"That should not concern one who is so close to death. Have you ever faced an Asari Commando unit before? Few humans have."

"I can't say that I have."

Benezia made a signaling gesture with her hands; one that Shepard didn't recognize. Immediately, the squad was surrounded by five armored asari, each armed with an assault rifle.

"I can't believe you'd kill your own daughter," Shepard spoke with disdain as she readied her weapon and signaled to her squad to do the same. They were ready regardless.

"I should have been stricter with her." Benezia turned to her left and approached the rachni tank as her Commando unit descended upon Shepard's squad.

"That coward isn't even going to fight us," Wrex snarled as he prepared a biotic barrier.

"I don't blame her, given the circumstances," Shepard yelled back at him, as she readied her kinetic barrier.

"Look out!" Liara cried. Two of the asari coordinated a biotic attack directed at the party. Fortunately, Liara created a biotic barrier large enough and strong enough to protect them all from it.

The battle had begun. Shepard quickly learned that Benezia didn't exaggerate the skill and precision of an Asari Commando Unit. Luckily, she was able to send out a directed radiation pulse from her omni-tool that temporarily affected a target's nervous system and rendered them incapable of using biotics; three of the asari nearest Shepard fell victim to this attack. Wrex and Ashley engaged two of the three with their own assault rifles while Liara battled the other two unaffected asari. The battle didn't last long, given the brutality of a close-quarters combat involving biotics. Shepard's squad eventually gained a victory due in no small part to the Commander's "tricks" she had uploaded to her omni-tool …and of course, Wrex and Liara's biotics along with Ashley's shotgun helped out as well. Shepard had to admit to herself at that moment just how proud she was that this rag-tag squad could work together to take down an entire unit of Asari Commandos. She was proud and possibly even a bit smug about her own leadership skills. However, that feeling waned very quickly as reality sunk in. They still had to deal with Benezia.

The four bruised warriors ascended the platform and approached the Matriarch. She faced the rachni tank; her back turned towards them.

Shepard raised her pistol, prepared to shoot the Matriarch if she attacked. With her head bent down and shoulders slouched, the Matriarch didn't look hostile.

"I was not myself, Shepard," Benezia asserted, her voice wavering. "Saren, he . . . he has power over my mind. You cannot understand it." Benezia turned to face Shepard and her squad, her hands open and facing them as a sign of peace. "I experience moments like this where I am able to recapture my own mind but they are few and fleeting."

"We know about Indoctrination, mother." Liara's voice was full of sadness as she addressed her mother.

"From Shiala?"

"Yes, mother."

"Then you know there is nothing you can do for me," Benezia's features contorted in discomfort, anguish, and fear. She turned from her daughter to face the Spectre. "Before I lose myself again to Saren's control, I need to give you some information, Shepard. Saren knows how to reach the Conduit and has set a course for Ilos. I…extracted the Mu Relay's coordinates from the mind of this Rachni Queen moments ago and passed these on to Saren. This was the _true_ purpose behind our interest in the thousand year old rachni egg. This task has utterly exhausted my mind." Benezia added with a hint of sorrow and regret, "I was not gentle."

"You can still help us by giving me those coordinates, Benezia. We can alert the Council and they can send their fleet out to Ilos," Shepard pleaded with the Matriarch.

"I have transferred the coordinates to this OSD." Benezia handed the data pad to Shepard. "Take it and stop him, quickly."

"Thank you, mother," Liara smiled sadly as her mother gave the data to the Commander.

Suddenly, Benezia cried out in agony as she clutched at her face. "You must leave, now! I am…I am slipping… I feel Saren's fingers clawing at my spine!"

"No! You can fight him, mother! Stay with us!"

"Please, Liara! Go!"

"No…"

"You have…_always_ made me proud, Liara…I want you to remember that…no matter what happens next…"

Liara appeared on the verge of tears.

Suddenly, an alien-sounding shriek escaped from Benezia's mouth. Her knees violently buckled and she fell onto the platform for just an instant before springing to life again, her body glowing brightly and angrily from a biotic field. The Matriarch let out a primal scream as she unleashed a powerful biotic attack on Shepard's squad.

Shepard's entire world went dark for a few moments. When she finally regained consciousness, she was met with the sight of a century's old Matriarch glaring down at her, crazed and hungry for blood. Shepard was certain this would be the last image she ever saw before dying…

Suddenly, a shot rang out and Benezia staggered away from the vulnerable Spectre. Shepard looked up and determined that Ashley had blasted the Matriarch with her shotgun. Benezia's barrier absorbed most of the impact from the bullet but it was still strong enough to knock her away from Shepard, buying much needed time.

Shepard quickly jumped to her feet and noticed that Ashley no longer wore her helmet and blood crept from her left nostril.

Ashley lined up another shot from her shotgun. Shepard prepared to fire her own pistol at the momentarily stunned Matriarch. Unfortunately, her omni-tool didn't want to work properly. No fancy tricks for this battle.

Before either of them could fire off a shot, Benezia mustered up enough strength to create a small singularity point behind them that quickly sucked in and trapped both of the humans within. Shepard tried to move, tried to escape, but it was in vain. Her arms and legs flailed uncontrollably as the mass effect field threw her body around like a piece of paper caught in a wind storm. Occasionally, she would bump into Williams, but the impact was never enough to send them out and away from the gravitational pull of the singularity field. Shepard was able to catch a single quick glimpse of Benezia in spite of her dizziness. It looked like her and Wrex were slinging mass effect fields at each other. She still didn't know what happened to Liara.

Suddenly, the field that trapped Shepard and Williams seemed to self-destruct and the two were violently thrown across the lab in opposite directions from each other. Shepard landed right next to Benezia…lucky her. Still disoriented from the singularity, the Commander had difficulty making out her surroundings but did notice that Benezia no longer battled Wrex. In fact, Benezia was glaring right at her…

"Leave them alone, mother!" Shepard finally knew Liara was alive and in one piece since Benezia's first attack. It dawned on her that Liara must have created her own mass effect field to disrupt Benezia's singularity.

Benezia turned from Shepard and faced Liara. The young asari Maiden trained the barrel of her pistol on her own mother. "It seems you wish to murder your own mother, Liara. And for what? For a few humans and that krogan?"

"You are not my mother, anymore. Saren took her from me." Liara spoke the last few words with great sorrow and regret.

Shepard knew she needed to take this opportunity and quickly. While Liara distracted Benezia, she fired off a few shots from her pistol that landed square on the Matriarch's chest. She was visibly wounded but those shots weren't enough to drop her for good.

Without hesitation, Benezia turned her focus on to Shepard. Before the Commander could fire off another shot, the Matriarch placed her in a biotic stasis field. This seemed to greatly weaken the wounded asari. She paused to regain some of her strength to finish off Shepard once and for all but a single shot fired from a pistol interrupted her actions and she fell in a heap over top of the prone Spectre. The two bodies, the Spectre and the Matriarch, lay motionless until the stasis holding Shepard wore off. Benezia remained lifeless.

Shepard arose from the floor and carefully removed Benezia's body from off the top of her own. Wrex and Ashley joined her side as she lay the body of the dead asari gently onto the floor.

"So . . . she's dead?" The Gunnery Chief asked softly.

"I don't know. My omni-tool is crap now. Check her life signs." Shepard was still disoriented and completely bewildered by everything that just happened.

"Aye, aye, Ma'am."

Before Ashley had the time to fire up her omni-tool, Benezia stirred and mumbled a few unintelligible words.

"Shit, she's still alive, Skipper."

"She . . . is?" Liara cried out as she finally joined her three squad mates in standing over her mother's body.

"Benezia, can you hear me?" Shepard asked her calmly. Ashley's omni-tool blazed as she scanned the Matriarch's body to check her vitals.

"No, just leave me here to die, Shepard. I will never . . . I will never be free of Saren's control. I am a danger . . ." Benezia's words trailed off weakly and she coughed up a small amount of purple blood.

"We can save you, mother. You can fight this!'

"No, Liara. You must let me go."

"I . . ."

"Leave, now. You must all leave here, quickly. Saren must be stopped."

Liara knelt down beside Shepard and gently picked up her mother's hand, holding it close to her face.

"Mother." Liara's eyes were glistening with tears. Shepard couldn't help but to notice that Liara's eyes were still strikingly beautiful even when full of moisture and grief. The others could only watch somberly as the scene played itself out.

Benezia smiled one last time at her daughter, "Good night, Littlewing. See you with the dawn . . . " Her final words trailed off quietly as she took her final breath.

Not a living soul stirred in the lab for a few moments. The first one to move was the Rachni Queen in her relatively small enclosure. A swift flicker of one of her long appendages caught the eye of Commander Shepard.

Shepard broke the silence by speaking quietly, "We should deal with that rachni. Come on." She motioned for Ashley and Wrex to follow. She wanted Liara to spend one last time alone with her mother and to give her the chance to grieve without three people intruding on the moment. As she left to approach the tank, she heard Liara whisper something. She could only make out the phrase, "embrace of the Goddess".

The others followed their Commander without a word. Shepard approached the tank in order to inspect the creature more closely. The tank was still again and the creature unmoving. Shepard crept even closer to the tank . . .

"Watch out, Shepard!" Wrex suddenly cried out in alarm. Shepard turned and came face to face with one of Benezia's Commandos. She instinctively drew her pistol and pointed it at the once fallen warrior before noticing that there was something completely off about the asari and her movements. She walked stiffly; her upper body jerked oddly around. She looked like a puppet on a string. Something was controlling her. Shepard allowed the asari to move unharmed, curious as to where she was headed. The asari stopped when she reached the rachni tank, then turned to face Shepard. She slowly opened her mouth and spoke; her voice otherworldly in its tone and pitch. It was a collection of sounds asari vocal chords were incapable of producing.

"This one . . . serves as our . . . voice. We cannot sing . . . not in these low spaces. Your musics are colorless."

Shepard approached the rachni tank, "Are you . . . speaking through this asari?"

"We are the mother. We sing for those left behind. The children you thought silenced. We are rachni."

"What the hell is going on, Shepard?" Wrex sounded agitated and a little eager. He hated rachni. Shepard knew he was dying to blast the big one in the tank.

"Just stand down, Wrex." Shepard turned to the rachni/asari. "Are you responsible for ordering the other rachni to kill everyone here?"

"No. We were locked away here. The children are beyond our songs. They have been . . . lost to silence. The children we birthed were stolen from us before they could learn to sing. They are lost to silence. End their suffering. They cannot be saved. They will only cause harm as they are."

"You mean the rachni in the hot labs?"

"Yes."

"Okay, we will finish them, if you are certain they can't be saved" Shepard agreed to the Queen's request.

"Before you deal with our children, we stand before you. What will you sing? Will you release us? Are we to . . . fade away once more?

Before Shepard could reply, Wrex spoke up, "There are acid tanks rigged up on that thing . . . set them off. Millions of my ancestors died to put these things down. Don't let them come back."

"I have to agree with Wrex, Skipper. You saw what these things are capable of. You can't risk letting this one go off to reproduce. It's too dangerous. Use the acid."

"You both have a point." Shepard was at a cross-roads and didn't know which way to go. The fate of an entire species rested in her hands. Her N7 training never prepared her for something like this.

"Wait! Shepard. Please reconsider killing her! There has been enough death already here." Liara suddenly rushed over to stand beside Wrex and Ashley.

"What now, asari?

"The Council let the krogan go to far. This is a chance for us to atone. This rachni has done nothing to us."

Wrex replied angrily. "Like hell she hasn't. She's responsible for this!"

"No she is not. My mother is responsible for this . . . she twisted their minds!"

"Why do you care anyway? Do the asari need another species to cuddle up with at night?"

Liara took a step closer to Wrex. She straightened her back and glared at the krogan, meeting his eyes. Shepard noticed that her body flared with biotic energy, most likely due to heightened adrenaline caused by anger and frustration with the krogan. "No, because this is the right thing to do."

In that moment, Shepard saw Benezia in Liara. It was impressive, as well as surprising and slightly frightening. Liara fearlessly stood up to the krogan who was five times her size and ten times her age. She exuded the same confidence and the same poise as her mother had displayed earlier when they first entered the lab. From that moment onward, Shepard couldn't help but see Liara in a different light and couldn't help but be completely enamored with her.

"The right thing to do? Your people didn't have to clean up this mess the last time. You know nothing about what's right!"

"Yes I do know, Wrex! I just killed my own mother because I knew it was 'right'!"

"She deserved it and so does this beast!"

"Enough!" Shepard took command of the situation quickly before things got even more heated between Liara and Wrex. "This is my decision to make. I want you two to step away from each other."

"I am sorry, Shepard. I lost my temper," Liara apologized as she walked away from Wrex and took a place closer to Ashley.

"It's okay, Liara."

Wrex snorted.

"If I let you go, will you attack the other races again?"

"No! We . . . I do not know what happened in the war. We only heard discordance; songs the color of oily shadows. We would seek a hidden place to teach our children harmony. If they understand, perhaps we would return."

"Great," Wrex interjected sarcastically.

"I've made my decision," Shepard turned to the Rachni Queen, "I won't kill your entire race. You are free to go."

"Are you stupid!" Wrex shot angrily, "your people didn't fight these bastards so maybe you don't get it!"

"I'm not going to facilitate the annihilation of an entire species!"

Wrex sighed, "Fine. Do what you want. My people will clean up this mess later."

"Are you sure about this Shepard? There's a reason their kind was hunt to extinction." Ashely pleaded her case as she took a few steps towards the Commander. "Just imagine the casualties if this incident happened on Earth? In Singapore? These things are dangerous. At least consider letting the Council make this decision instead of releasing this thing into the galaxy."

"Fuck the Council. I'm releasing her. Besides, we have larger fish to fry."

The rachni/asari spoke, "You will give us the chance to compose anew? We will remember. We will sing of your forgiveness to our children."

"Great, bugs are writing songs about you."

Shepard glared at Wrex.

"You did the right thing, Shepard," Liara reassured the Spectre gently.

"We need to move and get back to the Normandy. I need to inform the Council about Saren." Shepard's eye caught sight of Matriarch Benezia's body on the floor. She gently grabbed Liara's left elbow as she spoke to her, "I will send a team from Noveria to retrieve your mother's body so you can give her a proper burial later."

"Thank you, Shepard. I hope we survive that long. It seems we are nearing the end with Saren."

"Yeah, the final showdown and I will be ready for him."

* * *

_On the Normandy_

After briefing the Council and plotting a course to the Citadel, Shepard immediately visited Liara in her room by the med bay. She was incredibly nervous, shaking slightly, and sweating. She didn't know how to approach Liara after what happened with Benezia on Noveria. She didn't know what to say. She was going to have to wing it.

Shepard entered the dimly lit room. Liara was in her usual position at her desk, studying data on the computer.

"Liara? Do you got a minute?" Shepard asked as gently as she could.

"I do, Shepard." Liara stood up and faced the Commander; her angelic face once again stoic and devoid of emotion.

"I just wanted to see if you were okay."

"If this is about Benezia, you do not have to worry. I am fine."

"I know that you'll be ready when we face Saren but . . . do you want to talk about it? She was your mother after all and . . ."

"She was . . . and she was not. We did what was necessary." Liara closed her eyes for a moment. They opened up again as she continued, "I do . . . not want to talk about this right now, if that is okay. We need to focus on Saren."

"Okay, Liara. If you need anything, let me know."

"I need you to get some rest, Shepard. The last mission was grueling and you will need your strength for Saren."

Shepard smiled sadly and performed a tiny salute, "Yes, Ma'am. I'm going to go brief the others first before hitting the sack."

Liara forced a small smile before returning to her desk.

Shepard couldn't sleep that night. She failed Liara and this hurt her deeply. She should have been the one to take the final shot at Benezia; the final shot that would end the life of a mother…_her_ mother's life. She _never_ wanted Liara placed in that situation and always planned on being the one that took the final, killing shot at Benezia.. Shepard knew Liara was hiding her pain. She wanted to go to Liara and press herself against her closely and suck away all the pain like a sponge. She could stand to hold more of the galaxy's ugliness so Liara wouldn't have to; her own soul had been tainted with so much pain and death, most notable the loss of her dearest childhood friend . . . ages ago.

Liara wished for solitude instead. Shepard respected this wish, but Liara's reluctance to seek comfort with her stung sharply. She felt guilty for thinking and feeling this way, especially considering the amount of times she pushed Liara away. No matter what she tried, she couldn't change these feelings of despair and disappointment with herself. She failed.

Shepard knew it wasn't her fault, but she still failed Liara. Shepard never felt so horrid and wretched in her entire life.


End file.
